It has become a long-standing joke between men of a certain age that Christmas is a time when a loved one indulges their son's or husband's or father's inner child and presents them with their favourite football team's official calendar.
It is a small novelty item that shows appreciation for the recipient's passion, without the permanence of, say, Watford wallpaper or the puerility of a Blackburn bedspread.
It reminds the receiver of bygone days when football was beautiful and calendars were merely innocent merchandise.
Nowadays, however, after the wrapping is removed systematically (for wrapping really is unnecessary when the contents are so undisputed), rather than lust in the sight of the heroic faces of players such as Ian Rush and Bryan Robson, instead the heart beats just a tad faster as the allocation of player-to-month is surveyed.
Perhaps it is a cynicism that comes with age, but to my mind whimsical decisions no longer exist in the world of football.
Every decision is cold and calculated and calendars are no exception. If a player is allocated one of the early months, it means his position at the club is in doubt; if a player features as Mr December, he is the central cog on which the team plans to revolve.
Arsenal's official calendar last year, for instance, featured Cesc Fabregas.
The Spaniard had been linked with Barcelona for months, and it was widely expected he would leave in the summer.
Nobody wants reminded for the whole month of November that their club captain jumped ship months earlier, so Fabregas featured as Mr February.
Likewise, if there is such a thing as a sure bet in domestic football these days, the December page of a football calendar can point it out.
John Terry will still be at Chelsea in 12 months, Ashley Young will last more than a year at Old Trafford, as will Stewart Downing at Anfield.
How do we know? They are all dashing Mr Decembers for 2012.
The same cannot be said for Fernando Torres, who is Mr July at Chelsea.
But most worryingly of all, and fans of Tottenham Hotspur should perhaps stop reading, Luka Modric - the Croatian long-linked with a move away from White Hart Lane, is, drum roll ... Mr January. The transfer window opens in five days time.
[ gmeenaghan@thenational.ae ]
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 4 (Gundogan 8' (P), Bernardo Silva 19', Jesus 72', 75')
Fulham 0
Red cards: Tim Ream (Fulham)
Man of the Match: Gabriel Jesus (Manchester City)
DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin
Director: Shawn Levy
Rating: 3/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
The biog
From: Upper Egypt
Age: 78
Family: a daughter in Egypt; a son in Dubai and his wife, Nabila
Favourite Abu Dhabi activity: walking near to Emirates Palace
Favourite building in Abu Dhabi: Emirates Palace
ROUTE TO TITLE
Round 1: Beat Leolia Jeanjean 6-1, 6-2
Round 2: Beat Naomi Osaka 7-6, 1-6, 7-5
Round 3: Beat Marie Bouzkova 6-4, 6-2
Round 4: Beat Anastasia Potapova 6-0, 6-0
Quarter-final: Beat Marketa Vondrousova 6-0, 6-2
Semi-final: Beat Coco Gauff 6-2, 6-4
Final: Beat Jasmine Paolini 6-2, 6-2
Tomb Raider I–III Remastered
Developer: Aspyr
Publisher: Aspyr
Console: Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4&5, PC and Xbox series X/S
Rating: 3/5
Islamic Architecture: A World History
Author: Eric Broug
Publisher: Thames & Hudson
Pages: 336
Available: September
WWE Evolution results
- Trish Stratus and Lita beat Alicia Fox and Mickie James in a tag match
- Nia Jax won a battle royal, eliminating Ember Moon last to win
- Toni Storm beat Io Shirai to win the Mae Young Classic
- Natalya, Sasha Banks and Bayley beat The Riott Squad in a six-woman tag match
- Shayna Baszler won the NXT Women’s title by defeating Kairi Sane
- Becky Lynch retained the SmackDown Women’s Championship against Charlotte Flair in a Last Woman Standing match
- Ronda Rousey retained the Raw Women’s title by beating Nikki Bella
The specs
Engine: 6-cylinder, 4.8-litre
Transmission: 5-speed automatic and manual
Power: 280 brake horsepower
Torque: 451Nm
Price: from Dh153,00
On sale: now
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
Fixtures
Opening day Premier League fixtures for August 9-11
August 9
Liverpool v Norwich 11pm
August 10
West Ham v Man City 3.30pm
Bournemouth v Sheffield Utd 6pm
Burnley v Southampton 6pm
C Palace v Everton 6pm
Leicester v Wolves 6pm
Watford v Brighton 6pm
Tottenham v Aston Villa 8.30pm
August 11
Newcastle v Arsenal 5pm
Man United v Chelsea 7.30pm
Uefa Nations League: How it works
The Uefa Nations League, introduced last year, has reached its final stage, to be played over five days in northern Portugal. The format of its closing tournament is compact, spread over two semi-finals, with the first, Portugal versus Switzerland in Porto on Wednesday evening, and the second, England against the Netherlands, in Guimaraes, on Thursday.
The winners of each semi will then meet at Porto’s Dragao stadium on Sunday, with the losing semi-finalists contesting a third-place play-off in Guimaraes earlier that day.
Qualifying for the final stage was via League A of the inaugural Nations League, in which the top 12 European countries according to Uefa's co-efficient seeding system were divided into four groups, the teams playing each other twice between September and November. Portugal, who finished above Italy and Poland, successfully bid to host the finals.
Frida
Director: Carla Gutierrez
Starring: Frida Kahlo
Rating: 4/5