The importance of knowing who to keep in your phone contacts

Do you automatically save numbers of callers on your mobile? I’m never sure of the etiquette.

Obviously I don’t mean every number. Not the charming lady from the bank who, for the 10th time in a week offers you a new credit card/personal loan/car finance package.

Or that annoying bloke from XYZ Finance who calls to confirm you had a “great” weekend before trying to sell you a retirement package of CDS swaps secured on property assets in the Pitcairn Islands.

But phone numbers that you think are important, like C suite executives, top investment bankers or other good sources: these should go straight in the contacts book, yes?

You can pose the question with “old technology” too. Do you always transfer that VIP number from the rare business card you’ve just received, or from the notebook you’ve just jotted it down in? If not, it’s probably as useless as the random pile of cards on the desk next to the pillar of dusty old notebooks. Impossible to find, at least on my home desk.

It’s important that you do transfer the data to your mobile immediately, not just because you will want to call that person again at some stage in the future. It’s also vital because that person might also want to call you, and you should know who is calling.

There’s nothing more off-putting than making a call to a contact and receiving the answer “John Smith speaking, who is this?” You know in a split second that high-level contact, with whom you had a very chummy chat over coffee just recently obviously doesn’t regard you as important enough to be named and saved in their mobile.

Then there’s the embarrassing “oh yes, Frank, how are you, just thinking about you” lie before you can get down to serious chat. In that case, however, I find this situation has the saving grace of putting the respondent at an immediate disadvantage, more indebted to you, and therefore more likely to talk freely and tell you important things.

It gets even more tricky when the “other person” has a work as well as a personal mobile. It’s good enough to be saved to their work phone, but when you’re on the personal mobile contacts book of a VIP then you know you’ve made it.

It isn’t always obvious, though, that you’ve got through that selection process. You’ve saved a work number, but having never had a personal call you suddenly get a call from an unknown number. What do you do? Assume it’s the guy from XYZ or the lady from the bank and decline the call? Or answer it with a brusque “yes” before following with an apologetic “Oh George, how are you? How nice to hear from you, thanks for calling …”

It’s a problem that has caught me out me in the past.

Last year, enjoying an idyllic week in the south-west of France, I was just queuing in a supermarket, waiting to pay for some delicacy or other. The mobile beeped.

It was a noisy shop, I was flustered trying to sort out notes and change while exchanging “mercis” with the assistant, and all I heard was “It’s mumble mumble mumble from mumble bank in Dubai”.

“Oh what do you want? I’m on holiday, didn’t you see my holiday email message? Can’t it wait?” All very gruff and angry.

The caller was ultra-polite. “Sorry to bother you Frank, I’ll send an email.” I didn’t even say goodbye, just clicked off and got back to the counter.

I got the email later that evening, and immediately went rigid with embarrassment.

I called him immediately. “Your excellency, I’m so sorry, I didn’t recognise … ”

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