Observing Life: wearing the hijab is a matter of choice so stop the scrutiny

Most Muslim women wear the hijab or veil out of personal choice, not because they are forced to. Reuters

“What happened to you?”, “Why are you dressed like that?”, “Are you Muslim?”

These kinds of questions are an everyday occurrence for me since I decided to wear the hijab – and they are not usually delivered in a well-meaning way.

People who barely know me often stand aghast with confusion in their eyes, trying to work out my story. These are casual acquaintances, people I’ve met through work and, in rare cases, complete strangers. Why on earth would someone like me be wearing a hijab?

In some ways, I guess it was to be expected. I have fair skin, blue eyes and I don’t look like your average Arab (although many say I could pass for Syrian).

But who says all Muslims are Arabs? In fact, only about 15 per cent of the 1.6 billion Muslims around the world are Arabs – and all Arabs are definitely not Muslims. However, in the UAE, we are in the centre of the Arab world and it is a commonly held misconception that if you are wearing the hijab you must be a) Arab or b) made to wear the hijab by an Arab husband.

This latter assumption astounds me. I know that there are some societies in the world where women are told what to wear by their husbands, but all covered women I have met in the UAE – and the rest of the world – are strong, independent-minded individuals who decided to wear a scarf over their head or a veil over their face out of personal choice.

Yes, that’s right, they want to wear it. If you really think about it, why would it be any other way?

Let’s turn the situation around for a minute and imagine a woman getting dressed up for a dinner party or a formal event. When she is ready, her husband turns around and tells her: “Honey, that doesn’t match, you should change” or “Sweetie, I think that skirt is too short/too long/too wide/too tight.”

What would the reaction be? Can you play it out in your head? The husband would get an earful and the wife would wear exactly what she wanted to wear in the first place. Why is the situation any different with the hijab?

It’s because it is a symbol, a theological statement. You are wearing your religious persuasion on your head for everyone to see and, in turn, everyone feels it is their right to comment on it – no matter if they have never even met you before.

See, I don’t mind. I thought long and hard before I put on the hijab and I knew it would cause a reaction. I’m open to conversations about faith and doctrine and, if approached in a polite way, I’m always willing to share my story.

What I’m not so thrilled about is when people I have never met feel the need to unburden their preju­dices or personal opinions onto me without being open to discussion – they just want to insult and leave.

We would not comment in the same way if someone we didn’t know had dyed their hair purple, was wearing an outfit we didn’t like or was having a bad-skin day. But when it comes to the hijab or veil, it’s a personal boundary that people seem to feel free to trample all over.

Judgements are a fact of life. We love to fit people into the stereotypical boxes that we have formed in our own minds and I admit that I’m as guilty as the next person in plenty of other situations.

Islam and its codes of behaviour are going to continue to provoke raging debate across the world as we witness wave after wave of extremism, and I am deliberately not bringing up any of that discourse here.

The only point I want to underline is that if we are to uphold the values of freedom and choice, then I should be allowed to wear whatever I want, without judgement.