Britney Spears apologises to fans for ‘pretending’ to be okay

The pop star makes her first public statement since appearing in court to challenge her conservatorship

Britney Spears performs on a stage during a concert in Kiev, Ukraine, in 2011. Courtesy AP Photo

Britney Spears apologised to fans on Instagram "for pretending like I've been OK the past two years".

This was her her first public statement after asking a Los Angeles judge on Wednesday to end the court conservatorship that has controlled her life and money since 2008.

In a lengthy post on Instagram, Spears said she was ashamed to admit what was she was going through. "I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture their Instagram in a fun light."

She admitted that her presence on the social media platform may have led people to believe her life was “pretty amazing”, but that having “a cool outlet to share my presence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through” helped her through difficult times.

“I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because it’s definitely not at all … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week, you obviously really know now it’s not.”

Fans and supporters of Britney Spears gather outside the County Courthouse in Los Angeles, California on June 23.

Her post echoed her courtroom address, in which she said: “I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m OK and I’m happy. I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatised, you know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth.”

Spears delivered a long and emotional speech in court on Wednesday, calling her 13-year conservatorship abusive and condemning her father and others who control it. Among many explosive revelations, Spears said she wanted to marry her boyfriend, Sam Asghari, and have a baby, but that the conservatorship would not allow it. She also told the court she was being forced to take birth control against her will, had been forced to take lithium and to perform while she was ill.

“This conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good. I deserve to have a life,” she said.

Fans, celebrities, activists and supporters of the #FreeBritney movement have rallied behind the pop star this week. Although he has been accused of being complicit in the vilification of Spears in the media following their split, ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake tweeted: “After what we saw today, we should all be supporting Britney at this time. Regardless of our past, good and bad, and no matter how long ago it was … what’s happening to her is just not right.”

Spears’s Instagram post also stressed the importance of fairy tales. “I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life,” she wrote, and ended her message on an unexpectedly positive note. “I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales.”