How on watery earth does this happen?
One day, you find yourself working in Abu Dhabi.
Another day, you find yourself tiptoeing into the baffling realm of sailing, a world with its own dialect and amphibious humans.
And then another day, a second Sunday in December, while scared to the verge of queasy, you begin doing things that make you unrecognisable to yourself.
You crawl through the metal fencing on the back of a surging 70-foot racing yacht. You wriggle through your size 13 trainer after it briefly and awkwardly snags. You pivot upon the last precious inch of stern, and you step off into the middle of the ocean, or bay, or maybe just the deep.
To Abu Dhabi Ocean Racing team members, this feels run-of-the-mill. To me, a land-based mammal, this feels impossible. It's outlandish. It's dreamlike. It's ... not as cold as forewarned.
Water-resistant-apparel technology really amazes, once you learn how to don it, once you finish looking imbecilic trying to pull the rubbery neck gator over your head, and once you have heard Ian Walker, the skipper, holler: "It goes around your neck!"
The one-time first lady of the United States and full-time thinker Eleanor Roosevelt said: "Do one thing every day that scares you." I thought of her repeatedly on Sunday off the South African coast.Abu Dhabi's Azzam and five rivals left Cape Town toward Abu Dhabi for Leg 2 of the Volvo Ocean Race, but before they could reach oceanic wilds, they had to negotiate an 11-mile "inshore" course.
For that portion, they could bring a guest, as long as that guest jumps off and refrains from squatting on board and spending the ensuing weeks babbling about the Agulhas current and habituating to freeze-dried food.
So with a jump in the near future, the pre-jump hours became tremulous. They loosed more evidence of the downside of the human imagination. What would happen? How far back would the RIB (rigid inflatable boat) trail Azzam? How long would I be in the water?
The team commercial relationship manager and skilful sailor, Carla Nebreda, guessed 15 or 20 seconds. That helped some. On the dock, the team director, Jamie Boag, reversed the usual interview direction and pretended to interview the interviewer. That helped somewhat.
The sailors, of course, helped plenty. At separate times both Walker and the helmsman-trimmer Justin Ferris wondered if I were aware of the presence of sharks in the bay, but luckily I had seen the shark tour brochures so did not require the reminder. When Walker later explained that if I did not push the air upwards out of the suit and then tipped the wrong way in the water, he said, "You could drown," the seafaring bluntness oddly refreshing.
We began. Out of the dock and around the bend, it amazed me just how many vessels float around out there, especially on a day of spectating. People did gawk at the chic Azzam. They gawked from fan boats, and from leisure boats, and from other boats. Walker said this always makes him think of his childhood in Southampton, England, when the sight of the latest cool and competitive sailboat would pry wide his eyes.
I jotted this down, then wondered if the ink on the little piece of paper would survive the ocean. The New Zealand sailor Craig Satterthwaite, part man and part topographical formation, said, "This is your lucky day," and handed me 240 stray rand (Dh 110) he had found.
I shoved all this in the pocket of my shorts as Azzam spent an hour sailing around readying for the 3pm start, with Table Mountain and the Cape Town skyline booming as a peerless backdrop. Soon, Walker brought the guest suit to the stern area where guests tend to sit, and said its most recent inhabitant had been Zinedine Zidane, the retired French footballer, back in the Mediterranean Sea, back at the Leg 1 outset, back when Zidane jumped off backward.
As we pulled on suits, Walker asked if I minded ruining my dilapidated trainers, worn since 2009. (No.) He explained that before leaping, I should not grab a certain stanchion because my weight might yank it off and break Azzam. (Whoah.) He explained about the air, and I would spend the next two hours serially, ludicrously pushing on my legs to chase excess air that would initiate drowning.
The neck thing felt tight, perhaps curbing oxygen until I forgot it does not belong on the head. Wade Morgan, the affable bowman who really went in the water in the Mediterranean darkness, came back to chat, but my fear seemed to short-circuit my hearing of roughly every other sentence.
Things got hectic. Sailors barked out countdowns to the start. All grew blurry, and with Walker's deft choice of starting-line position, off went Azzam, grabbing a lead, roaring through the bay, racing for real. The sailors went frantic, big boys at a big-boy game, the adrenalin overwhelming, practically visible.
It was deeply, deeply impressive, and if I had not kept pressing at my pants legs to push air, it would have been triple-deeply impressive.
To think they carry on with that tenor - or close to it - for three-week slogs, presents a fresh layer of marvel. Riding high at the wheel, Walker turned around and yelled: "You don't get this in Formula One!"
They tacked. Azzam rounded markers. At one point it skirted just past some sort of giant, brutish, iron-heavy orange tanker from Rotterdam, and I wondered why such a monstrosity lurked right there. At another point Walker gave me an order, moving me atop the starboard-lying boat to shift my weight and "help us get to Abu Dhabi faster".
Then, after the third marker, he said something else. He said: "Chuck, your time is up."
There's something strange in life whenever you start to do something you've already pictured many times over. Maybe it's giving a speech, or getting medical-test results, or jumping into an ocean, but I always wish I possessed a switch that would stem all the preliminary envisioning. As I moved my muscles while feeling disconnected from them, I pulled that neck support halfway over my head until Walker noticed and corrected.
In my mind's eye, I still see the bright, witty sailor Simon Fisher laughing at me, but that could be a mirage.
I bent over and contorted through the wires, getting wordless help from the esteemed navigator Jules Salter, a good man who utters little. Turning around, I saw the RIB, more distant than I expected, unaware the RIB keeps distance so as not to run over the guest, as the shore-team manager Mike Danks explained later. Heading toward the water: How on watery earth …
I sort of just stepped, and upon entry, the life jacket inflated automatically. I submerged only briefly. I barely had time to gawk at the distant Table Mountain or pat a shark. Was it 15 seconds? Twenty? No clue. In a flash the RIB pulled up expertly, and down leaned the sail coordinator Jeremy Elliott and then the maintenance guru/RIB driver Ben Clifford, easily the two best looking men I had ever seen.
They yanked me upwards glitch-free, and the whole simple, wonderful, stupid, unforgettable moment congealed into exhilaration. I was breathless but not really cold. We bounced along under motor and they corralled - on the second try - a floating box media crew member Nick Dana heaved from Azzam. We returned to shoreside gawkers, then to the Abu Dhabi base camp wharf where napped two seals, so plump they seemed to have eaten everything from fish to discarded lorry wheels.
Brains remain mysterious, so I would wake at 3am in fear, re-picturing a scene embarrassingly benign. Yet in the evening hours before, rival feelings had come. I wished hard that my neckwear diversion had not cost Azzam any seconds, and I spent a good while with an unmistakable urge to go and do that again.
cculpepper@thenational.ae
Vidaamuyarchi
Director: Magizh Thirumeni
Stars: Ajith Kumar, Arjun Sarja, Trisha Krishnan, Regina Cassandra
Rating: 4/5
The bio
Favourite food: Japanese
Favourite car: Lamborghini
Favourite hobby: Football
Favourite quote: If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough
Favourite country: UAE
Cryopreservation: A timeline
- Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
- Ovarian tissue surgically removed
- Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
- Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
- Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE
1 Man City 26 20 3 3 63 17 63
2 Liverpool 25 17 6 2 64 20 57
3 Chelsea 25 14 8 3 49 18 50
4 Man Utd 26 13 7 6 44 34 46
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5 West Ham 26 12 6 8 45 34 42
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6 Arsenal 23 13 3 7 36 26 42
7 Wolves 24 12 4 8 23 18 40
8 Tottenham 23 12 4 8 31 31 39
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
Poacher
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The specs
Engine: 3-litre twin-turbo V6
Power: 400hp
Torque: 475Nm
Transmission: 9-speed automatic
Price: From Dh215,900
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
The Cairo Statement
1: Commit to countering all types of terrorism and extremism in all their manifestations
2: Denounce violence and the rhetoric of hatred
3: Adhere to the full compliance with the Riyadh accord of 2014 and the subsequent meeting and executive procedures approved in 2014 by the GCC
4: Comply with all recommendations of the Summit between the US and Muslim countries held in May 2017 in Saudi Arabia.
5: Refrain from interfering in the internal affairs of countries and of supporting rogue entities.
6: Carry out the responsibility of all the countries with the international community to counter all manifestations of extremism and terrorism that threaten international peace and security
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
UAE players with central contracts
Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Chirag Suri, Rameez Shahzad, Shaiman Anwar, Adnan Mufti, Mohammed Usman, Ghulam Shabbir, Ahmed Raza, Qadeer Ahmed, Amir Hayat, Mohammed Naveed and Imran Haider.
Race card:
6.30pm: Baniyas (PA) Group 2 Dh195,000 1,400m.
7.05pm: Maiden (TB) Dh165,000 1,400m.
7.40pm: Handicap (TB) Dh190,000 1,200m.
8.15pm: Maiden (TB) Dh165,000 1,200m.
8.50pm: Rated Conditions (TB) Dh240,000 1,600m.
9.20pm: Handicap (TB) Dh165,000 1,400m.
10pm: Handicap (TB) Dh175,000 2,000m.
Day 5, Abu Dhabi Test: At a glance
Moment of the day When Dilruwan Perera dismissed Yasir Shah to end Pakistan’s limp resistance, the Sri Lankans charged around the field with the fevered delirium of a side not used to winning. Trouble was, they had not. The delivery was deemed a no ball. Sri Lanka had a nervy wait, but it was merely a stay of execution for the beleaguered hosts.
Stat of the day – 5 Pakistan have lost all 10 wickets on the fifth day of a Test five times since the start of 2016. It is an alarming departure for a side who had apparently erased regular collapses from their resume. “The only thing I can say, it’s not a mitigating excuse at all, but that’s a young batting line up, obviously trying to find their way,” said Mickey Arthur, Pakistan’s coach.
The verdict Test matches in the UAE are known for speeding up on the last two days, but this was extreme. The first two innings of this Test took 11 sessions to complete. The remaining two were done in less than four. The nature of Pakistan’s capitulation at the end showed just how difficult the transition is going to be in the post Misbah-ul-Haq era.
SQUADS
Pakistan: Sarfraz Ahmed (capt), Azhar Ali, Shan Masood, Sami Aslam, Babar Azam, Asad Shafiq, Haris Sohail, Usman Salahuddin, Yasir Shah, Mohammad Asghar, Bilal Asif, Mir Hamza, Mohammad Amir, Hasan Ali, Mohammad Abbas, Wahab Riaz
Sri Lanka: Dinesh Chandimal (capt), Lahiru Thirimanne (vice-capt), Dimuth Karunaratne, Kaushal Silva, Kusal Mendis, Sadeera Samarawickrama, Roshen Silva, Niroshan Dickwella, Rangana Herath, Lakshan Sandakan, Dilruwan Perera, Suranga Lakmal, Nuwan Pradeep, Vishwa Fernando, Lahiru Gamage
Umpires: Ian Gould (ENG) and Nigel Llong (ENG)
TV umpire: Richard Kettleborough (ENG)
ICC match referee: Andy Pycroft (ZIM)
Specs
Price, base: Dhs850,000
Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 591bhp @ 7,500rpm
Torque: 760Nm @ 3,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 11.3L / 100km
Day 4, Dubai Test: At a glance
Moment of the day Lahiru Gamage appeared to have been hard done by when he had his dismissal of Sami Aslam chalked off for a no-ball. Replays suggested he had not overstepped. No matter. Two balls later, the exact same combination – Gamage the bowler and Kusal Mendis at second slip – combined again to send Aslam back.
Stat of the day Haris Sohail took three wickets for one run in the only over he bowled, to end the Sri Lanka second innings in a hurry. That was as many as he had managed in total in his 10-year, 58-match first-class career to date. It was also the first time a bowler had taken three wickets having bowled just one over in an innings in Tests.
The verdict Just 119 more and with five wickets remaining seems like a perfectly attainable target for Pakistan. Factor in the fact the pitch is worn, is turning prodigiously, and that Sri Lanka’s seam bowlers have also been finding the strip to their liking, it is apparent the task is still a tough one. Still, though, thanks to Asad Shafiq and Sarfraz Ahmed, it is possible.
Turkish Ladies
Various artists, Sony Music Turkey
SCHEDULE
6.30pm Maiden Dh165,000 (Dirt) 1,400m
7.05pm: Handicap Dh170,000 (D) 1,600m
7.40pm: Maiden Dh165,000 (D) 1,600m
8.15pm: Handicap Dh210,000 (D) 1,200m
8.50pm: Handicap Dh210,000 (D) 2,000m
9.25pm:Handicap Dh185,000 (D) 1,400m
Amith's predicted winners:
6.30pm: Down On Da Bayou
7.05pm: Etisalat
7.40pm: Mulfit
8.15pm: Pennsylvania Dutch
8.50pm: Mudallel
9.25pm: Midnight Sands
ASHES SCHEDULE
First Test
November 23-27 (The Gabba, Brisbane)
Second Test
December 2-6 (Adelaide Oval, Adelaide)
Third Test
December 14-18 (Waca Ground, Perth)
Fourth Test
December 26-30 (Melbourne Cricket Ground, Melbourne)
Fifth Test
January 4-8, 2018 (Sydney Cricket Ground, Sydney)
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor Cricket World Cup - Sep 16-20, Insportz, Dubai
16 Indoor cricket matches are 16 overs per side
8 There are eight players per team
9 There have been nine Indoor Cricket World Cups for men. Australia have won every one.
5 Five runs are deducted from the score when a wickets falls
4 Batsmen bat in pairs, facing four overs per partnership
Scoring In indoor cricket, runs are scored by way of both physical and bonus runs. Physical runs are scored by both batsmen completing a run from one crease to the other. Bonus runs are scored when the ball hits a net in different zones, but only when at least one physical run is score.
Zones
A Front net, behind the striker and wicketkeeper: 0 runs
B Side nets, between the striker and halfway down the pitch: 1 run
C Side nets between halfway and the bowlers end: 2 runs
D Back net: 4 runs on the bounce, 6 runs on the full
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
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