Ole Gunnar Solskjaer can feel a one-man nostalgia project so he could be accused of a lack of self-awareness last week when he suggested Manchester United should not live in the 1990s.
In a way, however, they are not. Solskjaer has transported them back to the 1980s, to Alex Ferguson’s awful autumn of 1989.
It was the last time United had this few points after eight league games, or when they went 11 without a win on the road.
In the subsequent bleak midwinter, they only mustered two goals in five matches. They have been similarly impotent now.
If Ferguson famously said his greatest feat was knocking Liverpool off their perch, Solskjaer is powerless to prevent them returning to it.
In their last 17 games, United have 17 points. Liverpool have 17 wins. Since August, United have scored as few league goals as Brighton rookie Aaron Connolly and West Ham left-back Aaron Cresswell.
Sunday’s defeat at Newcastle, where Steve Bruce won the battle of the beleaguered managers, felt like a reality check to Solskjaer, who abandoned his innate optimism to stop taking illusory positives and start sounding depressed by the reality of life at Old Trafford.
Manchester United does that to managers. They look drained, alone and increasingly old. Bitter, too, in Jose Mourinho’s case.
It has proved too big a job for each of Ferguson’s four successors, even though Louis van Gaal and Mourinho were Champions League winners.
So what chance Solskjaer, whose only managerial medals came with Molde and were won in officially Europe’s 21st-best top flight?
His recent record stands at five wins in 23 matches; the preceding run of 14 victories in 17 feels the most deceptive of false dawns.
What actually compounds United’s plight is the sense that some of Solskjaer’s ideas are actually right. In short, things could be even worse.
If two of his three signings, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Harry Maguire, may have been overpriced, the third, Daniel James, is a bargain. Solskjaer has bought fine players in positions where United required reinforcements.
He has recruited younger, hungrier footballers who actually want to play for the club. None is exactly the new Radamel Falcao or Alexis Sanchez. He has weaned United off their fatal attraction to Galacticos.
That renewed emphasis on pace and penetration offered a philosophy and, during Solskjaer’s spell as the catalytic caretaker, brilliant counter-attacking.
There was at least a semblance of something, until subsequent problems overwhelmed him.
United left him short of at least one forward and two midfielders; when Scott McTominay is far and away the outstanding man in the centre of the pitch, the departed Ander Herrera is sorely missed.
Solskjaer always seemed to lack a strategy to play attacking possession football. If United can’t score on the break, they do not find the net at all, as a tally of 14 goals in 17 matches shows.
A faith in youth is not always progressive – there is scant evidence that Andreas Pereira and Tahith Chong really have promise – but without Solskjaer’s kids, it would be even worse. No one over the age of 23 has scored for United this season.
Too much of Solskjaer’s inheritance consisted of the ponderous, the declining and the substandard: all three, in Nemanja Matic’s case. Some £900 million (Dh4.065 billion) of transfer-market spending into life after Ferguson and United lack an experienced core they can rely on.
Which leaves United marooned in mediocrity, dragged down by their dullness, with a midfield wasteland and a manager who finally seems to realise they are not headed for the sunlit uplands.
Solskjaer has an ethos but perhaps not the skill to implement it. Simply caring for United does not feel enough.
Who has lived at The Bishops Avenue?
- George Sainsbury of the supermarket dynasty, sugar magnate William Park Lyle and actress Dame Gracie Fields were residents in the 1930s when the street was only known as ‘Millionaires’ Row’.
- Then came the international super rich, including the last king of Greece, Constantine II, the Sultan of Brunei and Indian steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal who was at one point ranked the third richest person in the world.
- Turkish tycoon Halis Torprak sold his mansion for £50m in 2008 after spending just two days there. The House of Saud sold 10 properties on the road in 2013 for almost £80m.
- Other residents have included Iraqi businessman Nemir Kirdar, singer Ariana Grande, holiday camp impresario Sir Billy Butlin, businessman Asil Nadir, Paul McCartney’s former wife Heather Mills.
Hunting park to luxury living
- Land was originally the Bishop of London's hunting park, hence the name
- The road was laid out in the mid 19th Century, meandering through woodland and farmland
- Its earliest houses at the turn of the 20th Century were substantial detached properties with extensive grounds
Innotech Profile
Date started: 2013
Founder/CEO: Othman Al Mandhari
Based: Muscat, Oman
Sector: Additive manufacturing, 3D printing technologies
Size: 15 full-time employees
Stage: Seed stage and seeking Series A round of financing
Investors: Oman Technology Fund from 2017 to 2019, exited through an agreement with a new investor to secure new funding that it under negotiation right now.
Tips for taking the metro
- set out well ahead of time
- make sure you have at least Dh15 on you Nol card, as there could be big queues for top-up machines
- enter the right cabin. The train may be too busy to move between carriages once you're on
- don't carry too much luggage and tuck it under a seat to make room for fellow passengers
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Syria squad
Goalkeepers: Ibrahim Alma, Mahmoud Al Youssef, Ahmad Madania.
Defenders: Ahmad Al Salih, Moayad Ajan, Jehad Al Baour, Omar Midani, Amro Jenyat, Hussein Jwayed, Nadim Sabagh, Abdul Malek Anezan.
Midfielders: Mahmoud Al Mawas, Mohammed Osman, Osama Omari, Tamer Haj Mohamad, Ahmad Ashkar, Youssef Kalfa, Zaher Midani, Khaled Al Mobayed, Fahd Youssef.
Forwards: Omar Khribin, Omar Al Somah, Mardik Mardikian.
More coverage from the Future Forum
Specs – Taycan 4S
Engine: Electric
Transmission: 2-speed auto
Power: 571bhp
Torque: 650Nm
Price: Dh431,800
Specs – Panamera
Engine: 3-litre V6 with 100kW electric motor
Transmission: 2-speed auto
Power: 455bhp
Torque: 700Nm
Price: from Dh431,800
THE BIO: Martin Van Almsick
Hometown: Cologne, Germany
Family: Wife Hanan Ahmed and their three children, Marrah (23), Tibijan (19), Amon (13)
Favourite dessert: Umm Ali with dark camel milk chocolate flakes
Favourite hobby: Football
Breakfast routine: a tall glass of camel milk
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Essentials
The flights
Whether you trek after mountain gorillas in Rwanda, Uganda or the Congo, the most convenient international airport is in Rwanda’s capital city, Kigali. There are direct flights from Dubai a couple of days a week with RwandAir. Otherwise, an indirect route is available via Nairobi with Kenya Airways. Flydubai flies to Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo, via Entebbe in Uganda. Expect to pay from US$350 (Dh1,286) return, including taxes.
The tours
Superb ape-watching tours that take in all three gorilla countries mentioned above are run by Natural World Safaris. In September, the company will be operating a unique Ugandan ape safari guided by well-known primatologist Ben Garrod.
In the Democratic Republic of Congo, local operator Kivu Travel can organise pretty much any kind of safari throughout the Virunga National Park and elsewhere in eastern Congo.
More on animal trafficking
Real Madrid 1
Ronaldo (87')
Athletic Bilbao 1
Williams (14')
WHAT ARE NFTs?
Non-fungible tokens (NFTs) are tokens that represent ownership of unique items. They allow the tokenisation of things such as art, collectibles and even real estate.
An NFT can have only one official owner at one time. And since they're minted and secured on the Ethereum blockchain, no one can modify the record of ownership, not even copy-paste it into a new one.
This means NFTs are not interchangeable and cannot be exchanged with other items. In contrast, fungible items, such as fiat currencies, can be exchanged because their value defines them rather than their unique properties.
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Company profile
Name: Thndr
Started: October 2020
Founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: pre-seed of $800,000
Funding stage: series A; $20 million
Investors: Tiger Global, Beco Capital, Prosus Ventures, Y Combinator, Global Ventures, Abdul Latif Jameel, Endure Capital, 4DX Ventures, Plus VC, Rabacap and MSA Capital
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League final:
Who: Real Madrid v Liverpool
Where: NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium, Kiev, Ukraine
When: Saturday, May 26, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: Match on BeIN Sports
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 0
Wolves 2 (Traore 80', 90 4')