'I’ve got nothing to say. Any questions?': 18 of the funniest football quotes – in pictures

High-profile gaffes through the ages

Powered by automated translation

It can be pretty nerve-racking facing up to the TV cameras and a room full or journalists, even for seasoned professionals.

Even the most gnarled manager can feel disarmed by a reporter and a microphone. When put on the spot, it’s easy to say the wrong thing, or blurt out the first thought that comes to mind.

It also gives us plenty to look back on and laugh at as well.

Here are some of the funniest quotes in football.

David Beckham

Beckham was a football superstar, gracing clubs like Manchester United and Real Madrid, and is the only Englishman to score at three consecutive World Cups.

But he was prone to the odd gaffe too. When asked once about his relationship with his parents, Beckham responded: "My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven."

And he didn't quite grasp the meaning of ‘christening’ either:

"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."


The former Barcelona and Brazil striker was one of the greatest finishers of all time, and once claimed to have scored over 1,000 career goals, but he contradicted himself when he became player-manager of Vasco da Gama: "Will I become a coach in the future? No way, I'd never be able to put up with someone like me."

Antal Szabo

Italy’s players had extra motivation for wanting to win the 1938 World Cup final, with fascist leader Benito Mussolini’s pre-match pep talk kept to a simple: “Win or die.”

Thankfully, for the Italians, they did, prompting Hungary goalkeeper Antal Szabo to reflect: "I may have let in four goals, but at least I saved their lives."

Ray Hudson

The former Miami Fusion manager was clearly not in the mood to face media scrutiny following a 5-0 defeat, barking at the assembled press: "I've got nothing to say. Any questions?" before promptly storming out.

Football - Stock 02/03 - 2/4/03 
Steve Lomas - Northern Ireland 
Mandatory Credit: Action Images / Michael Regan / Reuters
Steve Lomas in action for Northern Ireland. Reuters

Steve Lomas

The Northern Ireland midfielder struggled to grasp the concept of international football: "Germany are a very difficult team to play. They had 11 internationals out there today."

Berti Vogts

A belting analogy of Scottish journalists from the disgruntled German: "If people had seen me walking on water, you can be sure someone, somewhere would have complained 'look at that Berti Vogts, he can't even swim'."

John Barnes

The dazzling Watford winger revealed his reverse psychology after dribbling past six Brazilians to score a sensational goal: "The Brazilians were shocked, and I supposed that's why they didn't tackle me, because they thought there was no way an Englishman is going to do this."

Bobby Robson

The affable Englishman was notorious for getting players' names wrong, but his sunny disposition let him get away with some serious spin after losing while manager at Newcastle: "Manchester United dropped points, Liverpool dropped points, Chelsea dropped points, Everton dropped points, so in a way we haven't lost anything at all really, although we dropped all three."

LONDON - MAY 7:  Manager Gordan Strachan of Southampton looks dejected on the touchline during the FA Barclaycard Premiership match between Arsenal and Southampton at Highbury on May 7, 2003 in London. (Photo by Mark Thompson/Getty Images)
Gordan Strachan always had a quip on hand for reporters. Getty Images

Gordon Strachan

He could be a reporter's nightmare, but the spiky Scot was also witty, too. With a teenage Wayne Rooney set to make his international debut in 2003, Strachan quipped:  "It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Lawrie McMenemy

Maths obviously wasn't the former Southampton manager's strongest subject: "When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."

Ruud Gullit

Same for Ruud: "We must have had 99 per cent of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match."

Mark Viduka

The former Leeds United and Australia striker and logic were uncomfortable bedfellows: "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."

Football - 1992 Friendly - England v Brazil - Wembley Stadium - London - 17/5/92 
Carlton Palmer - England in action 
Mandatory Credit: Action Images / Sporting Pictures / Nick Kidd 
Carlton Palmer in action for England against Brazil at Wembley in 1992. Action Images

Carlton Palmer

The gangling midfielder was a much-derided figure in English football in the 1990s. His manager at Southampton, Dave Jones, gave this assessment of his player: "He covers every blade of grass out there … but that's only because his first touch is so crap."

Michael Owen

Doesn't do superstition: "I don't believe in superstitions. I just do certain things because I'm scared in case something will happen if I don't do them."

Barry Venison

Doesn't do ritual: "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."

Alan Shearer

Hitting back at wild accusations: "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."

Mark Draper

The former Aston Villa midfielder may need a new atlas: "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."

Goodness knows where he thought he was when turning out to play on loan for Rayo Vallecano.