Who wants to be (a sick) millionaire?



A night in Dubai City Hospital's Royal Suite. This, apparently, is how the other half ails. I check in at Dubai City's Hospital's Royal Suite, and am immediately confronted by a large tray of multicoloured fondant delicacies - 60 in all, just for me. The cakes are supplemented by an equally impressive array of Arabic sweets, and enough fruit to service a fair-sized vegan convention. Before I've made a dent in the cakes, I'm served a four-course meal, which begins with Trio of Tomato (mousse, consommé and stuffed) and culminates in Pan Fried Beef Fillet, served with creamed Savoy cabbage and dumplings, followed by a stack of chocolate samosas.

Between courses, my personal butler ghosts into the room. Is everything to my liking? Will there be anything else? Coffee? Tea? A Sandwich? I am also visited by a team of nurses, who frequently arrive to check my vital signs. For a while now, Dubai has been jockeying for pole position in the lucrative health care tourism industry; the Royal Suite occupies the highest point of this endeavour. If your taste runs to velvet pillows and blown glass chandeliers, or if you think you might require the use of a majlis during your stay, then the Royal Suite is the room for you.

This sort of opulence doesn't come cheap. A regular room at City Hospital sets you back Dh1,370 a night; the Royal Suite costs Dh19,750 - not including the cost of medical care. Good luck trying to hit up your insurance provider for that. But the suite isn't meant for people who worry about such things. Hospital administrators won't say who, specifically, has stayed in the room, but the list includes Gulf royalty and some of Dubai's notable family names.

"The suite serves a certain market," says the hospital's director, David Hadley. "For you, it's a treat, for them, it's normal." Normal, he says. Beyond the 24-hour butler and the lavish decor, the suite boasts a private terrace, a VIP lift, pool gym, hairdresser and pedicurist. Every room has a flat-screen TV equipped with video on demand. And each offers sweeping views of downtown Dubai, the perfect place to stand and ponder the condition of one's prostate.

During my stay, I am given what the hospital calls the Executive Health Check, a top-to-toe anatomical survey for men of a certain age. This procedure, too, is surprisingly agreeable. To me, one ECG machine looks much like another - what's different here is the personnel: without exception, the people who administer my tests have the demeanour of maître d's. "Sorry," says the motherly lab technician every time she jabs a needle into my arm. "Just a little prick."

"I can see," observes the charming man who does my chest X-ray, "that you have had a lot of women in your heart." As I wait to go in for my abdominal scan, a nurse phones my butler, ensuring that another many-coursed meal will be waiting for me upon the precise second of my return. Oddly, this comes just a few minutes after I have been informed that I'm "in the overweight range" and have "borderline hypertension".

Hadley is quick to point out such hospitality is also available to non-VIP patients. A core part of the ethos at City Hospital, he reminds me, is that the unpleasantness of a broken leg, bladder infection or heart murmur can be alleviated by pleasant surroundings. Ordinary patients may not be able to order a guava shake at 4am, but they're still greeted by a warm smile at the hospital's slick glass-and-steel lobby.

This approach, of course, is informed by more than altruism. If City Hospital is to become a serious player in the health care tourism game, it will not do so by virtue of competitive pricing - the local economy won't allow it. So this facility, along with others at the Dubai Healthcare City free zone, has adopted an alternative strategy: improving the quality of the care. And this includes, as Hadley puts it, "the hotel side of the business".

Overnight, I roam across my suite's cool marble flooring, examining elaborate bottles of scent, scraping my fingernails along the gold brocade and mosaic tiling. I measure the length of the suite in steps (50). I sneak a smoke on the terrace. I watch Cloverfield, then Baby Mama. I try to sleep. The following morning, shortly before I leave, David Hadley warns me to remember more than the private-swimming-pool, sixty-cakes-to-a-serving stuff. Even in the madly comfortable Royal Suite, this is less about maximising pleasure than minimising pain. Think about it, he says: "Even if you won a million dirhams, would you want to go to a hospital?"

* Chris Wright

Citadel: Honey Bunny first episode

Directors: Raj & DK

Stars: Varun Dhawan, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Kashvi Majmundar, Kay Kay Menon

Rating: 4/5

A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro
Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books 

THE LIGHT

Director: Tom Tykwer

Starring: Tala Al Deen, Nicolette Krebitz, Lars Eidinger

Rating: 3/5

Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
  • Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
  • Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
  • Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
 
 
The 12 breakaway clubs

England

Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur

Italy
AC Milan, Inter Milan, Juventus

Spain
Atletico Madrid, Barcelona, Real Madrid

Business Insights
  • As per the document, there are six filing options, including choosing to report on a realisation basis and transitional rules for pre-tax period gains or losses. 
  • SMEs with revenue below Dh3 million per annum can opt for transitional relief until 2026, treating them as having no taxable income. 
  • Larger entities have specific provisions for asset and liability movements, business restructuring, and handling foreign permanent establishments.
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
 
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
THE BIO

Age: 30

Favourite book: The Power of Habit

Favourite quote: "The world is full of good people, if you cannot find one, be one"

Favourite exercise: The snatch

Favourite colour: Blue

Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.

Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.

Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.

“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.

Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.

From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.

Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.

BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.

Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.

Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.

“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.

“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.

“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”

The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”

MATCH INFO

Barcelona 4 (Messi 23' pen, 45 1', 48', Busquets 85')

Celta Vigo 1 (Olaza 42')

 

Company: Instabug

Founded: 2013

Based: Egypt, Cairo

Sector: IT

Employees: 100

Stage: Series A

Investors: Flat6Labs, Accel, Y Combinator and angel investors

Griselda
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%C2%A0Andr%C3%A9s%20Baiz%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%C2%A0%3C%2Fstrong%3ESof%C3%ADa%20Vergara%2C%20Alberto%20Guerra%2C%20Juliana%20Aiden%20Martinez%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

Director: Laxman Utekar

Cast: Vicky Kaushal, Akshaye Khanna, Diana Penty, Vineet Kumar Singh, Rashmika Mandanna

Rating: 1/5

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPeyton%20Reed%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Paul%20Rudd%2C%20Evangeline%20Lilly%2C%20Jonathan%20Majors%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Cryopreservation: A timeline
  1. Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
  2. Ovarian tissue surgically removed
  3. Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
  4. Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
  5. Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months

Miss Granny

Director: Joyce Bernal

Starring: Sarah Geronimo, James Reid, Xian Lim, Nova Villa

3/5

(Tagalog with Eng/Ar subtitles)

The specs

Engine: 3-litre twin-turbo V6

Power: 400hp

Torque: 475Nm

Transmission: 9-speed automatic

Price: From Dh215,900

On sale: Now

The specs

Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors

Power: 480kW

Torque: 850Nm

Transmission: Single-speed automatic

Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)

On sale: Now

How to avoid crypto fraud
  • Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
  • Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
  • Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
  • Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
  • Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
  • Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
  • Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Cricket World Cup League 2 Fixtures

Saturday March 5, UAE v Oman, ICC Academy (all matches start at 9.30am)

Sunday March 6, Oman v Namibia, ICC Academy

Tuesday March 8, UAE v Namibia, ICC Academy

Wednesday March 9, UAE v Oman, ICC Academy

Friday March 11, Oman v Namibia, Sharjah Cricket Stadium

Saturday March 12, UAE v Namibia, Sharjah Cricket Stadium

UAE squad

Ahmed Raza (captain), Chirag Suri, Muhammad Waseem, CP Rizwan, Vriitya Aravind, Asif Khan, Basil Hameed, Rohan Mustafa, Kashif Daud, Zahoor Khan, Junaid Siddique, Karthik Meiyappan, Akif Raja, Rahul Bhatia

The specs
 
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Mercedes V250 Avantgarde specs

Engine: 2.0-litre in-line four-cylinder turbo

Gearbox: 7-speed automatic

Power: 211hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 350Nm

Fuel economy, combined: 6.0 l/100 km

Price: Dh235,000

If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
UPI facts

More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions