What do you want for Christmas, honey?
As parents, we ask our kids this question every year, hoping the answers will be somewhere in the realm of possible. I call them the four As:
Affordable. (A laptop, a Wii and a new PSP?)
Appropriate. (Platforms? You're seven!)
Available. (Not out of stock, and for sale in the UAE.)
And, perhaps most important, in alignment with our values.
"We all want to be good parents. None of us likes saying 'no' to our kids," says Robin Boord, a psychologist and family therapist from Australia now living in Abu Dhabi with her family. But, she believes, a little reality isn't a bad thing.
This year, for example, she bought her son and daughter - both in their mid-teens - musical instruments for their birthdays. "We said, 'Look, we're glad you want to study music, it fits with what we value as a family, but you're getting something really small for Christmas this year.'"
And as for the plea, "But everybody has ? (mobile phone, leather jacket, fill in the blank)," Boord says, "that's not a line that works in our house. We just laugh."
I had to laugh a couple of days ago when I asked my daughter, aged 13, what it was she'd told me last month she wanted for Christmas. "I can't remember," she said, looking shocked. So much for "I can't live without".
Like many parents, my husband and I pose the question, truly consider the requests, then do our own thing, trying to marry what is desired with what is doable and to include what we want to give our daughter. "What's important is the conversation you have with yourself," says Boord.
It's nearly as important as the conversation you have when a child requests something that you can't or don't want to provide.
"Sometimes, you need to ask: 'How come you want [whatever it is]?' Sometimes, especially with older kids, it's not about the material thing itself. It's about wanting to fit in," Boord says. And sometimes, she admits, "it's worth buying the whatever if it's that important to your child".
Bonnie Dion and Manuel Salazar's daughter, Sofia, is not quite five, but she is already part of the family conversation about presents. "We discuss the merits of one toy over another," says Salazar. The family of three, who live in a compact apartment off the Corniche, know there isn't the space for some of the large toy horses Sofia would dearly love to have. "They're useless for us, so we talk with her about getting something smaller, more portable, and preferably without batteries," says Salazar, a freelance photographer. "We try to reason things out, discuss why it's better to make another choice. "But it isn't just a matter of physical logistics. "We're also trying to instil a sense of the value of money," says Salazar. "Bonnie and I tell Sofia that if she really wants something she needs to work for it, to save for it." He admits that, like all children, his daughter is influenced by what her friends have and by what she sees in the stores. "She's a very alert five-year-old," he says.
The other day, father and daughter were in the grocery store and Sofia spotted some cereal boxes - they were at her eye level - with her favourite ponies as little prizes inside. "It's so easy to keep dropping stuff into your trolley, especially at this time of year," says Salazar. Still, he and his wife know they're not doing their daughter any favours by caving into every whim. "It's never too early to learn that you can't have everything that you see."
That's a hard concept to get across at any age, admits Boord. "Children are like us. We sometimes want things we cannot have and we need to be able to tell ourselves, and them - gently, but firmly - that certain wants are not an option."
The antidote to saying "no" is saying "yes" to other options.
"Set some ritual in motion," suggests Boord. Each Christmas her kids look forward to receiving their Christmas stocking. They're not stuffed with computer games, jewellery or money, but with simple things: an orange, some gold-foil-wrapped chocolate coins, perhaps a yo-yo, gifts our grandparents might have received. Homemade cards are also becoming a tradition in her family. "If you want to give Christmas cards, make them yourself," Boord told her kids this year. She's proud of the cards her daughter crafted for her friends.
We don't make cards, but we do make cookies in our household. Some for us, some for friends. We also look forward each night to lighting the candles of our Advent wreath and singing Hark the Herald Angels Sing (usually off key). And where would we be without Christmas crackers? More a British tradition than an American one, my family came to the pleasures of "the small bang" only a few years ago. I am not talking the six "luxury" Christmas crackers I saw for Dh295 at Lulu last week. The six I bought cost a fraction of that and will give us much shared laughter and entertainment at Christmas dinner. My daughter may be a teenager now, but she still loves wearing those silly paper crowns.
Last week Boord set a new holiday tradition in motion. She and her kids went Christmas shopping equipped with a list: sheet, pillow, pillow case, towel, aftershave, transistor radio, items to be put into a care package for a labourer in one of the Abu Dhabi labour camps. (Find out more about Helping Hands, Abu Dhabi, through www.helpinghandsuae.com). As an extra challenge to themselves, her children "memorised the list, then went scurrying through the store to gather in the items." This joint project "gave them a focus," she says. And was a reminder of what we're always telling our kids anyway: Christmas is about giving.
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
- Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
- Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
- Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
Company profile
Company: Rent Your Wardrobe
Date started: May 2021
Founder: Mamta Arora
Based: Dubai
Sector: Clothes rental subscription
Stage: Bootstrapped, self-funded
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
At a glance - Zayed Sustainability Prize 2020
Launched: 2008
Categories: Health, energy, water, food, global high schools
Prize: Dh2.2 million (Dh360,000 for global high schools category)
Winners’ announcement: Monday, January 13
Impact in numbers
335 million people positively impacted by projects
430,000 jobs created
10 million people given access to clean and affordable drinking water
50 million homes powered by renewable energy
6.5 billion litres of water saved
26 million school children given solar lighting
Pathaan
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Siddharth%20Anand%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Shah%20Rukh%20Khan%2C%20Deepika%20Padukone%2C%20John%20Abraham%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
UFC%20FIGHT%20NIGHT%3A%20SAUDI%20ARABIA%20RESULTS
%3Cp%3E%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EMain%20card%3Cbr%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERobert%20Whittaker%20defeated%20Ikram%20Aliskerov%20via%20knockout%20(Round%201)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EHeavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EAlexander%20Volkov%20def%20Sergei%20Pavlovich%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EKelvin%20Gastelum%20def%20Daniel%20Rodriguez%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EShara%20Magomedov%20def%20Antonio%20Trocoli%20via%20knockout%20(Round%203)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELight%20heavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EVolkan%20Oezdemir%20def%20Johnny%20Walker%20via%20knockout%20(Round%201)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPreliminary%20Card%0D%3Cbr%3ELightweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ENasrat%20Haqparast%20def%20Jared%20Gordon%20via%20split%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFeatherweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EFelipe%20Lima%20def%20Muhammad%20Naimov%20via%20submission%20(Round%203)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWelterweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERinat%20Fakhretdinov%20defeats%20Nicolas%20Dalby%20via%20split%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBantamweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMuin%20Gafurov%20def%20Kang%20Kyung-ho%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELight%20heavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMagomed%20Gadzhiyasulov%20def%20Brendson%20Ribeiro%20via%20majority%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBantamweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EChang%20Ho%20Lee%20def%20Xiao%20Long%20via%20split%20decision%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
more from Janine di Giovanni
The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo V8
Power: 611bhp
Torque: 620Nm
Transmission: seven-speed automatic
Price: upon application
On sale: now
Other workplace saving schemes
- The UAE government announced a retirement savings plan for private and free zone sector employees in 2023.
- Dubai’s savings retirement scheme for foreign employees working in the emirate’s government and public sector came into effect in 2022.
- National Bonds unveiled a Golden Pension Scheme in 2022 to help private-sector foreign employees with their financial planning.
- In April 2021, Hayah Insurance unveiled a workplace savings plan to help UAE employees save for their retirement.
- Lunate, an Abu Dhabi-based investment manager, has launched a fund that will allow UAE private companies to offer employees investment returns on end-of-service benefits.
Titanium Escrow profile
Started: December 2016
Founder: Ibrahim Kamalmaz
Based: UAE
Sector: Finance / legal
Size: 3 employees, pre-revenue
Stage: Early stage
Investors: Founder's friends and Family
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
Price, base / as tested: Dh182,178
Engine: 3.7-litre V6
Power: 350hp @ 7,400rpm
Torque: 374Nm @ 5,200rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 10.5L / 100km
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
Company profile
Name: The Concept
Founders: Yadhushan Mahendran, Maria Sobh and Muhammad Rijal
Based: Abu Dhabi
Founded: 2017
Number of employees: 7
Sector: Aviation and space industry
Funding: $250,000
Future plans: Looking to raise $1 million investment to boost expansion and develop new products
Final scores
18 under: Tyrrell Hatton (ENG)
- 14: Jason Scrivener (AUS)
-13: Rory McIlroy (NIR)
-12: Rafa Cabrera Bello (ESP)
-11: David Lipsky (USA), Marc Warren (SCO)
-10: Tommy Fleetwood (ENG), Chris Paisley (ENG), Matt Wallace (ENG), Fabrizio Zanotti (PAR)
Sustainable Development Goals
1. End poverty in all its forms everywhere
2. End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable agriculture
3. Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages
4. Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all
5. Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls
6. Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all
7. Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all
8. Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all
9. Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialisation and foster innovation
10. Reduce inequality within and among countries
11. Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable
12. Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns
13. Take urgent action to combat climate change and its effects
14. Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development
15. Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss
16. Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels
17. Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalise the global partnership for sustainable development
THE BIO
Favourite car: Koenigsegg Agera RS or Renault Trezor concept car.
Favourite book: I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes or Red Notice by Bill Browder.
Biggest inspiration: My husband Nik. He really got me through a lot with his positivity.
Favourite holiday destination: Being at home in Australia, as I travel all over the world for work. It’s great to just hang out with my husband and family.
UAE squad
Humaira Tasneem (c), Chamani Senevirathne (vc), Subha Srinivasan, NIsha Ali, Udeni Kuruppuarachchi, Chaya Mughal, Roopa Nagraj, Esha Oza, Ishani Senevirathne, Heena Hotchandani, Keveesha Kumari, Judith Cleetus, Chavi Bhatt, Namita D’Souza.
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
The five pillars of Islam