When my younger sister, who is getting married in December, sent me a YouTube link on an e-mail last week titled "Idea for our wedding (!)", I was expecting one of the usual wedding funnies. Something along the lines of the bride falling headfirst into her towering sponge cake; or a catastrophically inappropriate speech that manages to offend the entire party. As everyone knows, the funniest part of any wedding (except your own, that is) is when things go wrong. There's the bride in all her meringue perfection - and she's covered in cake. Hilarious! Oh, and there's the wedding car veering off course and totalling the marquee. Oh, how we laughed! This one, though, was different.
By now, many of you have probably seen the video of Jill and Kevin's big day - the one where the bride, groom, groomsmen and bridesmaids dance down the aisle to the Chris Brown song Forever. It first aired a couple of weeks ago, and quickly went viral, with around 12 million hits in 10 days.
The blogosphere has been raining hyperbole ever since. There hasn't been so much overblown enthusiasm since Slumdog Millionaire came out. Of course, the cynical, emotionally devoid Brit in me wants to dismiss the whole thing as a giant cheese-fest. But I must admit, not only do I agree with them, I cannot stop watching it. I must have done so 20 times (in my own time, naturally). Even worse, I've downloaded the song on to my iPod.
But in a world of pandemics and recession, watching a group of young, carefree friends having a great time is just so - kill me now - life-affirming. They're not models. They're not even very good dancers, some of them. But celebration is catching. Even now, having seen it more times than is strictly normal for someone who doesn't know Jill or Kevin, an inane grin involuntarily creeps across my face.
Maybe it's a girl thing. After all, weddings are generally accepted as the female domain. But my husband loves the video, too, and was the first one to attempt a reconstruction when Forever came on the radio the other day.
What's annoying now is that it has become so popular that it takes forever to load. So I am being forced to wean myself off it, and find other rays of sunshine to brighten my day. A ray, you might think, in the shape of my own wedding video? Perhaps. But only if I get desperate. And in the meantime, there's always December...
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Armies of Sand
By Kenneth Pollack (Oxford University Press)
Five expert hiking tips
- Always check the weather forecast before setting off
- Make sure you have plenty of water
- Set off early to avoid sudden weather changes in the afternoon
- Wear appropriate clothing and footwear
- Take your litter home with you
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
When Umm Kulthum performed in Abu Dhabi
Known as The Lady of Arabic Song, Umm Kulthum performed in Abu Dhabi on November 28, 1971, as part of celebrations for the fifth anniversary of the accession of Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan as Ruler of Abu Dhabi. A concert hall was constructed for the event on land that is now Al Nahyan Stadium, behind Al Wahda Mall. The audience were treated to many of Kulthum's most well-known songs as part of the sold-out show, including Aghadan Alqak and Enta Omri.
Results
4pm: Al Bastakiya Listed US$300,000 (Dirt) 1,900m; Winner: Emblem Storm, Oisin Murphy (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer).
4.35pm: Mahab Al Shimaal Group 3 $350,000 (D) 1,200m; Winner: Wafy, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
5.10pm: Nad Al Sheba Turf Group 3 $350,000 (Turf) 1,200m; Winner: Wildman Jack, Fernando Jara, Doug O’Neill.
5.45pm: Burj Nahaar Group 3 $350,000 (D) 1,600m; Winner: Salute The Soldier, Adrie de Vries, Fawzi Nass.
6.20pm: Jebel Hatta Group 1 $400,000 (T) 1,800m; Winner: Barney Roy, William Buick, Charlie Appleby.
6.55pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-3 Group 1 $600,000 (D) 2,000m; Winner: Matterhorn, Mickael Barzalona, Salem bin Ghadayer.
7.30pm: Dubai City Of Gold Group 2 $350,000 (T) 2,410m; Winner: Loxley, Mickael Barzalona, Charlie Appleby.
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
COMPANY PROFILE
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Core42
Current number of staff: 47
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Company%20Profile
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COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
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'Worse than a prison sentence'
Marie Byrne, a counsellor who volunteers at the UAE government's mental health crisis helpline, said the ordeal the crew had been through would take time to overcome.
“It was worse than a prison sentence, where at least someone can deal with a set amount of time incarcerated," she said.
“They were living in perpetual mystery as to how their futures would pan out, and what that would be.
“Because of coronavirus, the world is very different now to the one they left, that will also have an impact.
“It will not fully register until they are on dry land. Some have not seen their young children grow up while others will have to rebuild relationships.
“It will be a challenge mentally, and to find other work to support their families as they have been out of circulation for so long. Hopefully they will get the care they need when they get home.”
Key products and UAE prices
iPhone XS
With a 5.8-inch screen, it will be an advance version of the iPhone X. It will be dual sim and comes with better battery life, a faster processor and better camera. A new gold colour will be available.
Price: Dh4,229
iPhone XS Max
It is expected to be a grander version of the iPhone X with a 6.5-inch screen; an inch bigger than the screen of the iPhone 8 Plus.
Price: Dh4,649
iPhone XR
A low-cost version of the iPhone X with a 6.1-inch screen, it is expected to attract mass attention. According to industry experts, it is likely to have aluminium edges instead of stainless steel.
Price: Dh3,179
Apple Watch Series 4
More comprehensive health device with edge-to-edge displays that are more than 30 per cent bigger than displays on current models.
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Jigra
Starring: Alia Bhatt, Vedang Raina, Manoj Pahwa, Harsh Singh
Company%20Profile
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Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
THE SPECS
Aston Martin Rapide AMR
Engine: 6.0-litre V12
Transmission: Touchtronic III eight-speed automatic
Power: 595bhp
Torque: 630Nm
Price: Dh999,563
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.