Crikey, what a long name. So long, in fact, that every time I tried to write it down, I lost my train of thought by the word Championship and eventually, the only way that I could actually get the title of this story correct was to cut and paste the entire moniker from the original press kit. Were cars to be judged simply by their honorific, this JCW-fettled Mini would be only slightly slower than a moon rocket. And, were Mini to try to include all that verbiage on the rear trunk lid's badge, the name would have to be changed to Maxi.
Nonetheless, there's some actual heritage to be celebrated here, this being the celebration of the 50th anniversary of John Cooper's inaugural victory in the rarified world of Formula One racing. There's the not inconsequential fact that, for anyone of even a slightly sporting bent, John Cooper is Mini. Originally setting out to make a mere 1,000 of Sir Alec Issigonis's iconic little runabout, the original was a huge success selling more than 25,000 units, mostly on its reputation as a 55-horsepower (up from the stock 33) giant-killer. Fifty years later and that rep is little changed, a John Cooper Works, run by the famed guru's son, Michael, still in the game of deflating the egos of those who would automatically dismiss such a small car.
A JCW always performs far beyond the numbers on its specification sheet. After all, 211 horsepower is barely beyond the maximal output of the latest Hyundai Sonata. Nonetheless, a zero to 96 kilometre an hour acceleration time of just 6.5 seconds is nothing to be sneezed at, the Mini Cooper S's twin-scroll turbocharger willing the small car forward with an urge that seems quite surprising considering its rather dainty looks.
Indeed, all that power really consumes the JCW personality as the front tyres struggle to contain all that torque (258Nm in regular circumstances, 280Nm available for short bursts). On anything but a perfect road, matting the throttle has the tires spinning, the steering wheel wagging and the turbocharged Mini wandering to and fro. Normally, such dramatic torque steer would be considered a failing, but in the JCW it's just part of the insouciance, the rebelliousness that the boy-racer scoop on the front hood promises and the little 1.6-litre four-banger delivers. The John Cooper Works may, for some, lack in size and practicalities like boot space, but never for excitement or speed.
Runaway torque steer or not, the Mini is actually a phenomenally stable car, at once striking that magical balance between go-kart like handling and phenomenal stability. The first, of course, is to be expected; the Mini is, after all, barely bigger than a bread box and outfitted with tyres - 205/35R17 Dunlops - seemingly outsized for something so small. The latter is a pleasant surprise since such a combination of short wheelbase of just 2,467 millimetres, stiff suspension and wide tyres normally wreaks havoc on normal highway cruising. But, in this regard, the Mini always acts like a much bigger car, giving off the sensation that is just loafing along even as it is well into "Oops officer, I wasn't looking at the speedometer" range.
As for practicalities, yes the boot is small. It's still more practical than a BMW 335 Cabriolet whose retractable hard top all but consumes the cargo area when hidden. A hardtop Mini is not the best choice for anyone schlepping large bags of sport equipment of any kind. It'll carry some groceries, just not in large boxes.
There is plenty of room up front for two. Four can be, well, a stretch. It's fine if you're four young, limber 20-somethings; not so good for the same number of arthritic 50-somethings.
The décor, though, is unrivalled. Call it iconic, classic or contrived, the Mini's interior really is cheerful, that big, centre-mounted clock almost smiling at you every morning as you start your slog to work. There are fun little metal flip switches for the lights, et cetera and all that's missing is a little flower holder though that might be a feminisation too far for a car that portends to be so butch.
As for this 50th edition, its calling card is exclusivity, there only being 300 for the world, which appear to be all spoken for. Sadly, there are no performance enhancements beyond the normal Cooper Works massaging, but the car does boast various carbon fibre bits like the front scoop and the rear air deflector. The interior is shown off by a Carbon Black leather trimmed with red piping (though the seats are still manually operated). Similarly, the exterior paint is, I'm told (I say told because I am actually confused since this boast is so overused), an original version of British Racing Green called Connaught Green. In all but brilliant sunshine, it looks pretty black to me, but pretty is the operative word.
All this historific authenticity does not come cheaply, however. A World Championship 50 Edition starts at Dh186,000. It doesn't matter, though. Only 300 will be available worldwide and they've sold out.
motoring@thenational.ae
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
SPECS
Toyota land Cruiser 2020 5.7L VXR
Engine: 5.7-litre V8
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 362hp
Torque: 530Nm
Price: Dh329,000 (base model 4.0L EXR Dh215,900)
if you go
The flights
Air France offer flights from Dubai and Abu Dhabi to Cayenne, connecting in Paris from Dh7,300.
The tour
Cox & Kings (coxandkings.com) has a 14-night Hidden Guianas tour of Guyana, Suriname and French Guiana. It includes accommodation, domestic flights, transfers, a local tour manager and guided sightseeing. Contact for price.
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Director: Shady Ali
Cast: Boumi Fouad , Mohamed Tharout and Hisham Ismael
Rating: 3/5
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
The specs: 2018 Nissan Patrol Nismo
Price: base / as tested: Dh382,000
Engine: 5.6-litre V8
Gearbox: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 428hp @ 5,800rpm
Torque: 560Nm @ 3,600rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.7L / 100km
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
MATCH INFO
Barcelona 4 (Messi 23' pen, 45 1', 48', Busquets 85')
Celta Vigo 1 (Olaza 42')
The alternatives
• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.
• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.
• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.
• 2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.
• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases - but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Honeymoonish
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SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20APPLE%20IPHONE%2015%20PRO%20MAX
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Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Company%20Profile
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How to improve Arabic reading in early years
One 45-minute class per week in Standard Arabic is not sufficient
The goal should be for grade 1 and 2 students to become fluent readers
Subjects like technology, social studies, science can be taught in later grades
Grade 1 curricula should include oral instruction in Standard Arabic
First graders must regularly practice individual letters and combinations
Time should be slotted in class to read longer passages in early grades
Improve the appearance of textbooks
Revision of curriculum should be undertaken as per research findings
Conjugations of most common verb forms should be taught
Systematic learning of Standard Arabic grammar
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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City's slump
L - Juventus, 2-0
D - C Palace, 2-2
W - N Forest, 3-0
L - Liverpool, 2-0
D - Feyenoord, 3-3
L - Tottenham, 4-0
L - Brighton, 2-1
L - Sporting, 4-1
L - Bournemouth, 2-1
L - Tottenham, 2-1
Specs
Engine: 2-litre
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 255hp
Torque: 273Nm
Price: Dh240,000
THE DRAFT
The final phase of player recruitment for the T10 League has taken place, with UAE and Indian players being drafted to each of the eight teams.
Bengal Tigers
UAE players: Chirag Suri, Mohammed Usman
Indian: Zaheer Khan
Karachians
UAE players: Ahmed Raza, Ghulam Shabber
Indian: Pravin Tambe
Kerala Kings
UAE players: Mohammed Naveed, Abdul Shakoor
Indian: RS Sodhi
Maratha Arabians
UAE players: Zahoor Khan, Amir Hayat
Indian: S Badrinath
Northern Warriors
UAE players: Imran Haider, Rahul Bhatia
Indian: Amitoze Singh
Pakhtoons
UAE players: Hafiz Kaleem, Sheer Walli
Indian: RP Singh
Punjabi Legends
UAE players: Shaiman Anwar, Sandy Singh
Indian: Praveen Kumar
Rajputs
UAE players: Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed
Indian: Munaf Patel
TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
THE BIO
Favourite car: Koenigsegg Agera RS or Renault Trezor concept car.
Favourite book: I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes or Red Notice by Bill Browder.
Biggest inspiration: My husband Nik. He really got me through a lot with his positivity.
Favourite holiday destination: Being at home in Australia, as I travel all over the world for work. It’s great to just hang out with my husband and family.