I once made the mistake of using the word "elderly" in a news story to describe someone aged in their sixties.
It's a mistake a journalist is only likely to make once, if the reaction to my use of the word is anything to go by: there was a deluge of mail slating me for the temerity of using "the E word" to describe someone of that age.
I was in my early thirties when I wrote that ill-considered adjective - still in the throes of youth, when reaching one's seventh decade seemed simultaneously inconceivable and abhorrent. (Fifteen years later, I've adopted a rather more pragmatic view that growing old is much better than the alternative.)
I have no doubt these sprightly letter-writing sexagenarians would consider themselves to be, at worst, middle aged. But possibly not even then. Nobody, it seems, gets old any more.
At the risk of incurring a new barrage of mail, it always seemed to me a matter of pure arithmetic: if youth, middle age and old age are of equal length, then you reach middle age one third of your way through your expected lifespan.
In the UAE, for example, the UN statistic for life expectancy is 78.7. The US expectation is a little lower, Australia and Britain a little higher. Based on that, middle age is from a little after your 26th birthday until about five months after you turn 52.
In Swaziland, which has the grim notoriety of having the world's shortest life expectancy, 39.6 years according to the UN, middle age kicks in just after the 13th birthday. The CIA World Factbook calculates the nation's citizens' chances far more pessimistically, with 31.88 years as the allotted lifespan. That would make middle age kick in a little over six months after one's 10th birthday.
Have you ever heard of anyone in their late twenties describing themselves as middle aged? Me neither, although I haven't been to Swaziland.
I've never even heard anyone in their thirties admit to it, when the only way you could statistically qualify to be still in the stage of youth is if you expect to live to 120.
Of course, the truth is that youth, middle age and old age are not deemed to be equal parts. Much like vanity sizing in the fashion industry - and equally driven by denial - youth seems to have ballooned to include people who are 45 and possibly even older.
Maybe it's best defined relatively. As Oliver Wendell Holmes famously put it: "Old age is 15 years older than I am."
So middle age could easily last up to the pension age. Even at that point, it seems that the E word could be used as an adjective. But anyone sensible will whisper it and not write it in a newspaper column.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Haltia.ai
Started: 2023
Co-founders: Arto Bendiken and Talal Thabet
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: AI
Number of employees: 41
Funding: About $1.7 million
Investors: Self, family and friends
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: SmartCrowd
Started: 2018
Founder: Siddiq Farid and Musfique Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech / PropTech
Initial investment: $650,000
Current number of staff: 35
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Various institutional investors and notable angel investors (500 MENA, Shurooq, Mada, Seedstar, Tricap)
Kill
Director: Nikhil Nagesh Bhat
Starring: Lakshya, Tanya Maniktala, Ashish Vidyarthi, Harsh Chhaya, Raghav Juyal
Rating: 4.5/5
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Round 1: Beat Leolia Jeanjean 6-1, 6-2
Round 2: Beat Naomi Osaka 7-6, 1-6, 7-5
Round 3: Beat Marie Bouzkova 6-4, 6-2
Round 4: Beat Anastasia Potapova 6-0, 6-0
Quarter-final: Beat Marketa Vondrousova 6-0, 6-2
Semi-final: Beat Coco Gauff 6-2, 6-4
Final: Beat Jasmine Paolini 6-2, 6-2
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The site is part of the Hili archaeological park in Al Ain. Excavations there have proved the existence of the earliest known agricultural communities in modern-day UAE. Some date to the Bronze Age but Hili 2 is an Iron Age site. The Iron Age witnessed the development of the falaj, a network of channels that funnelled water from natural springs in the area. Wells allowed settlements to be established, but falaj meant they could grow and thrive. Unesco, the UN's cultural body, awarded Al Ain's sites - including Hili 2 - world heritage status in 2011. Now the most recent dig at the site has revealed even more about the skilled people that lived and worked there.
The Greatest Royal Rumble card as it stands
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- Never click on links provided via app or SMS, even if they seem to come from authorised senders at first glance
- Always double-check the authenticity of websites
- Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA) for all your working and personal services
- Only use official links published by the respective entity
- Double-check the web addresses to reduce exposure to fake sites created with domain names containing spelling errors
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Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin
Director: Shawn Levy
Rating: 3/5
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Director: Vikas Bahl
Starring: Ajay Devgn, R. Madhavan, Jyothika, Janaki Bodiwala
Rating: 3/5
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Date started: March 2019
Founder: Dr Ali Al Hammadi
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Camelpox
Caused by a virus related to the one that causes human smallpox, camelpox typically causes fever, swelling of lymph nodes and skin lesions in camels aged over three, but the animal usually recovers after a month or so. Younger animals may develop a more acute form that causes internal lesions and diarrhoea, and is often fatal, especially when secondary infections result. It is found across the Middle East as well as in parts of Asia, Africa, Russia and India.
Falconpox
Falconpox can cause a variety of types of lesions, which can affect, for example, the eyelids, feet and the areas above and below the beak. It is a problem among captive falcons and is one of many types of avian pox or avipox diseases that together affect dozens of bird species across the world. Among the other forms are pigeonpox, turkeypox, starlingpox and canarypox. Avipox viruses are spread by mosquitoes and direct bird-to-bird contact.
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Company Profile
Name: Direct Debit System
Started: Sept 2017
Based: UAE with a subsidiary in the UK
Industry: FinTech
Funding: Undisclosed
Investors: Elaine Jones
Number of employees: 8
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 1 Chelsea 0
De Bruyne (70')
Man of the Match: Kevin de Bruyne (Manchester City)
MO
Creators: Mohammed Amer, Ramy Youssef
Stars: Mohammed Amer, Teresa Ruiz, Omar Elba
Rating: 4/5
RACECARD
9pm Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (Dirt) 2,000m
9.30pm Handicap (TB) Dh70,000 (D) 2,000m
10pm Al Ain Cup – Prestige (PA) Dh100,000 (D) 2,000m
10.30pm Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,800m
11pm Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,600m
11.30pm Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,400m
12am Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (D) 1,400m
The Witcher - season three
Director: Various
Stars: Henry Cavill, Freya Allan, Anya Chalotra
Rating: 3/5