I don't recall exactly at which point I started giggling while driving the Mercedes G55 AMG down Sheikh Zayed Road, but it certainly wasn't more than five minutes into the journey. I had always considered the G-Wagen a rather curious throwback to the 1970s with all the charm and aerodynamics of a garden shed.
But that view changes when you settle down in the leather seats and enjoy a view rather like that from a tennis umpire's chair. Too hot? Then flick on the air conditioning and the seat gets cooler. Then you rev the engine. It roars: more dragon than G-Wagen, and this is a dragon with teeth. Hit the accelerator and Ferraris, that once were in front of you, are suddenly disappearing in your rear view mirror. Apparently the V8 engine is supercharged and produces some 500 horsepower, but if it's statistics you want, read the motoring section.
Land Cruisers, Lexuses, even Porsche 911s, the iconic cars of the UAE, become rather insignificant. The reason I was nipping along Sheikh Zayed Road was to have lunch with somebody who had threatened to stand me up until she heard I had a G-Wagen. "That rather hits the spot," she told me. "I have serious car envy."
I turned on the stereo and the music came booming out, threatening to drown the sound of the engine. I nipped alongside a Maserati, powered past a Porsche and undertook a Lamborghini. Then I heard a strange noise: the sound of myself laughing inanely. It is hard to recall exactly what I said, but it sounded like this: "Winners, grinners, chicken dinner. Give me goddesses and keep those trolls away from me."
Yes. Driving a G55 is the motoring equivalent of being inside Charlie Sheen's head. It may not be affordable or environmentally friendly, but it is seriously good fun. I couldn't get my golf clubs in the boot, so I threw them away. This is not a car for golfers or droopy-eyed children. It's a rock star, fuelled by Tiger Blood.
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The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 194hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 275Nm from 2,000-4,000rpm
Transmission: 6-speed auto
Price: from Dh155,000
On sale: now
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MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-final, second leg
Real Madrid (2) v Bayern Munich (1)
Where: Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid
When: 10.45pm, Tuesday
Watch Live: beIN Sports HD
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
BULKWHIZ PROFILE
Date started: February 2017
Founders: Amira Rashad (CEO), Yusuf Saber (CTO), Mahmoud Sayedahmed (adviser), Reda Bouraoui (adviser)
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: E-commerce
Size: 50 employees
Funding: approximately $6m
Investors: Beco Capital, Enabling Future and Wain in the UAE; China's MSA Capital; 500 Startups; Faith Capital and Savour Ventures in Kuwait
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South and West: From a Notebook
Joan Didion
Fourth Estate
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ACL Elite (West) - fixtures
Monday, Sept 30
Al Sadd v Esteghlal (8pm)
Persepolis v Pakhtakor (8pm)
Al Wasl v Al Ahli (8pm)
Al Nassr v Al Rayyan (10pm)
Tuesday, Oct 1
Al Hilal v Al Shorta (10pm)
Al Gharafa v Al Ain (10pm)
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While you're here
Cheryl Thompson: Stop the practice of blackface that's as Canadian as hockey
Kareem Shaheen: Alghabra outshines the racists who malign him
Kareem Shaheen: In Canada, I have finally found a home
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Essentials
The flights: You can fly from the UAE to Iceland with one stop in Europe with a variety of airlines. Return flights with Emirates from Dubai to Stockholm, then Icelandair to Reykjavik, cost from Dh4,153 return. The whole trip takes 11 hours. British Airways flies from Abu Dhabi and Dubai to Reykjavik, via London, with return flights taking 12 hours and costing from Dh2,490 return, including taxes.
The activities: A half-day Silfra snorkelling trip costs 14,990 Icelandic kronur (Dh544) with Dive.is. Inside the Volcano also takes half a day and costs 42,000 kronur (Dh1,524). The Jokulsarlon small-boat cruise lasts about an hour and costs 9,800 kronur (Dh356). Into the Glacier costs 19,500 kronur (Dh708). It lasts three to four hours.
The tours: It’s often better to book a tailor-made trip through a specialist operator. UK-based Discover the World offers seven nights, self-driving, across the island from £892 (Dh4,505) per person. This includes three nights’ accommodation at Hotel Husafell near Into the Glacier, two nights at Hotel Ranga and two nights at the Icelandair Hotel Klaustur. It includes car rental, plus an iPad with itinerary and tourist information pre-loaded onto it, while activities can be booked as optional extras. More information inspiredbyiceland.com
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Director: Romany Saad
Starring: Mirfat Amin, Boumi Fouad and Tariq Al Ibyari
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Frankenstein in Baghdad
Ahmed Saadawi
Penguin Press
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ULTRA PROCESSED FOODS
- Carbonated drinks, sweet or savoury packaged snacks, confectionery, mass-produced packaged breads and buns
- margarines and spreads; cookies, biscuits, pastries, cakes, and cake mixes, breakfast cereals, cereal and energy bars;
- energy drinks, milk drinks, fruit yoghurts and fruit drinks, cocoa drinks, meat and chicken extracts and instant sauces
- infant formulas and follow-on milks, health and slimming products such as powdered or fortified meal and dish substitutes,
- many ready-to-heat products including pre-prepared pies and pasta and pizza dishes, poultry and fish nuggets and sticks, sausages, burgers, hot dogs, and other reconstituted meat products, powdered and packaged instant soups, noodles and desserts.
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The biog
Favourite books: 'Ruth Bader Ginsburg: A Life' by Jane D. Mathews and ‘The Moment of Lift’ by Melinda Gates
Favourite travel destination: Greece, a blend of ancient history and captivating nature. It always has given me a sense of joy, endless possibilities, positive energy and wonderful people that make you feel at home.
Favourite pastime: travelling and experiencing different cultures across the globe.
Favourite quote: “In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders” - Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook.
Favourite Movie: Mona Lisa Smile
Favourite Author: Kahlil Gibran
Favourite Artist: Meryl Streep
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Know before you go
- Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
- If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
- By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
- Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
- Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
How to help
Send “thenational” to the following numbers or call the hotline on: 0502955999
2289 – Dh10
2252 – Dh 50
6025 – Dh20
6027 – Dh 100
6026 – Dh 200