Observing Life: In the wake of #SaveNeil, a guide to spotting gold-diggers

For the man to pick up the bill is gentlemanly, but if the woman is not reaching for her purse after several dates, alarm bells should ring. iStock

Inevitably, where wealthy men go, beautiful women follow. And the UAE is no stranger to wealthy men.

I have lived here for many years and the Valentine's Day drama that unfolded on Virgin Radio's The Kris Fade Show last week reintroduced me to a familiar female character. Her name on-air was Anonymous, but from the way she bragged about her expensive gifts – and indicated she wouldn't stick around if her man had no money – she was soon branded a gold-digger on Twitter.

I’ve seen it happen to the best of men, so to spare you the fate of #SaveNeil, here is my guide to spotting Goldy the Gold-Digger before she takes you for a financially crippling ride.

• Firstly, Goldy is a fabulous-looking woman. Attraction is the first weapon in her plan for trapping her prey. But take a closer look. Something about her is not real. Be it her chest, teeth or nose, something is not quite as it should be.

• For the man to pick up the bill is gentlemanly, but if you're on the third date and she still hasn't reached for her bag when the bill arrives, alarm bells should start ringing.

• Should you still be caught in Goldy's web, eventually she will admit to you that things are a little tight for her financially. Of course, this isn't just because she is lazy and doesn't have a job, oh no, it will always be someone else's fault. For instance, a job she came all the way here for suddenly wasn't available. Or she is waiting for a visa. Or she has to send all the money she earns to pay for a sibling's college tuition.

This conversation will happen when she notices that it has occurred to you that you’re always paying for everything.

• If you offer her money, she will initially act as if she is too proud to accept it. This is where men fall. This is trickery. She knows you will insist on helping the damsel in distress.

Expect a few tears and a faux show of embarrassment over it all, but mark my words, if the girl is Goldy, she won’t refuse the money for long.

While there are, of course, occasions where people do genuinely need a helping hand, if there’s not an agreement or plan in place to spell out how that person will pay you back, something is not right.

• When Goldy says something even slightly derogatory about another woman in your life, it won't be a throwaway comment.

No, our girl Goldy is a planner. She knows that you may never click onto her gold-digging ways, but the other women in your life have probably already got her number.

Before your mother, sister or well-meaning friend have the guts to say something to you – such as “watch out son, she’s a money-grabbing witch” – Goldy will have already told you how much they don’t like her. Poor old Goldy – she doesn’t know why they don’t like her, she will tell you, but it has happened all her life. Women just don’t like her. “Perhaps they are jealous of my looks,” she might say.

You will also hear variations of it just being human nature. If it’s your mum who doesn’t like her, for example, it won’t be because she can see Goldy is using you, it will be because “that’s natural, it’s because she doesn’t want anyone taking her little boy away”, she will tell you.

“Your friend has always fancied you, that’s why she’s being horrible about me,” Goldy might say.

Goldy’s trick is to never stray too far away from the truth. Her explanations for her behaviour may seem a little odd, but they are always plausible.

• Finally, Goldy will have quite a few nice things for someone with no job and no money. Where did she get them from, you wonder? Most likely, it was the man before you.