"Oh my gosh, you're all real." Anne Hathaway's (rehearsed) opening lines.
"I just saw Marky Mark" – James Franco's grandmother in the audience as part of rather lame opening sketch.
"Roxy Sorkin, your father just won the academy award. I'm going to have to demand some respect from your guinea pig." - Aaron Sorkin, on winning best adapted screenplay for The Social Network.
My father always said to me I'd be a late bloomer." - 74-year old David Seidler on winning Best Original Screenplay for The King's Speech
"Congratulations nerds." - James Franco after the awards for engineering.
"Forgive me, I must start by pointing out that three years after a horrific financial crisis not a single financial executive has gone to jail and that's wrong." - Charles Ferguson on collecting the award for outstanding documentary of the year for the Inside Job, his critical analysis of the financial crisis.
"Oh, I should have got a haircut." - The big haired Luke Matheny after winning best live-action short.
"The producers have told me that we're running a little long, so here's the best picture." - Billy Crystal, at least an hour before the end.
"Dude, you won this award last year, how much is enough?" - Sandra Bullock to Jeff Bridges, while announcing the nominees for the Best Actor Award.
"I think my career may have just peaked." - Colin Firth on winning Best Actor.
