History has been an ever-present source of inspiration in videogame land for decades. It seems only right, then, that a more contemporary yet just as earth-shattering historical happening has finally been given the thumb-bashing treatment. That’s right, I’m talking Kim Kardashian’s trip to Dubai in 2011.
Now, undoubtedly most avid gamers out there are aware of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, the tablet "red carpet adventure" that allows you to create your very own Kim-alike, ready to traipse around "upscale boutiques and luxury homes", "date and dump" celebs and attempt to boost your credentials from E- to A-list. And all this from the comfort of your dreary desk job, dreary commute to work or, most probably, in bed while next to your drearily un-celeb other half, snoring loudly.
But just as Civilisation V expanded its universe with the likes of Genghis Khan and the Incas, KK: Hollywood has now added Dubai to the growing list of cities your bootylicious magazine botherer can "take over".
Casting one’s mind back to those heady days in October 2011, Kim’s five-day visit to the emirate alongside “momager” Kris Jenner already seems the stuff of legend, akin to Marco Polo’s epic travels across Central Asia or Christopher Columbus’s exploration of the Americas, and something a mere videogame could never do justice to. Appreciating the task at hand, the developers have boiled down the trip to three key zones for players to discover and up their star rating.
There’s the “Mall of Dubai”, which I can only guess represents The Dubai Mall, where Kim famously appeared to hold a “perfume signing” and also help launch the Millions of Milkshakes store. Then there’s a luxurious suite in the “Atlantean Hotel” – surely Atlantis, The Palm, where Kim stayed? – and a restaurant that looks suspiciously like the hotel’s own aquarium-meets-fine-dining-outpost, Ossiano.
Aside from the names, which must be a result of copyright issues rather than any flagrant fact-checking failures, surely this Dubai update is enough to keep amateur Kardashian historians content when not counting down the days till the release of Selfish, Kim's forthcoming book featuring , yes that's right, hundreds of selfies.
But before you rush out to begin your your Kardashian-endorsed celebrity adventure, hold tight, because the eagle-eyed out there might not be so pleased with some of the game’s cultural missteps.
In your hotel accommodation, for example, you can purchase a pet lion cub. Now, while lions may be regularly spotted hanging out of sports car windows around the Marina, last time we checked, Atlantis wasn’t offering them as an extra option, no doubt something to do with the animal’s endangered status and the potential nightmare one could wreak on the cushions. Dolphins, yes; lions, not so much.
Heading over to the “Mall of Dubai”, some of the more risqué outfits you can clad your wannabe Mrs West in would definitely fail to pass the clearly marked dress code. And as for the flirting and public kissing opportunities while on a hot date in an aquatic-themed restaurant, it’s best just not to go there.
Such clear breaches of local sensitivities, however, are unlikely to affect Kim Kardashian: Hollywood's popularity, with KK herself recently pointing out that people "want to vicariously [or should that be vacuously?] live through what they see our lives to be". According to reports, the game brought in US$43 million (Dh158m) during the third quarter ofthis year, news that will probably see many other celebrity types follow her path into the app world. And when they do, we can only hope they include Dubai on their narcissistic digital escapades, too.
Imagine a Flappy Bird-style Tyrese Gibson game whereby you must tweet about being in Dubai every second or else. Or a Paris Hilton strategy where you search high and low for a "Dubai BFF" only to never, ever talk to them again and then later admit that it was a shameless attempt to promote your handbags. I'd play that (in absolute secrecy).
• The game is free to play from iTunes but comes with in-app purchases that can add up, costing from Dh9 up to Dh164
artslife@thenational.ae
