JM Coetzee at the Worlds Literature Festival in the Norwich Playhouse, England, where the author broke away from his gloomy reputation and had the audience roaring with laughter.
JM Coetzee at the Worlds Literature Festival in the Norwich Playhouse, England, where the author broke away from his gloomy reputation and had the audience roaring with laughter.

Seriously funny



When the South African novelist JM Coetzee agrees to a public appearance, it's a big deal. After all, here is a literary recluse to rank alongside Cormac McCarthy and Harper Lee, who didn't even turn up to collect either of his two Booker Prizes. It's fair to say that the author of the shockingly bleak post-apartheid memoir Disgrace has a reputation as a rather gloomy, joyless figure; something that wasn't helped by Martin Amis, who, earlier this year, memorably said Coetzee's "whole style is predicated on transmitting absolutely no pleasure".

So laughs were the last thing anyone expected from his appearance at the Writers' Centre Worlds Literature Festival in Norwich last week. On an impressive bill with three other South African writers - Gabeba Baderoon, CJ Driver and Zoe Wicomb - didn't take the stage until after the interval, and when he did, read just one unpublished short story. He left almost as suddenly as he'd arrived. But for those 20 minutes, Coetzee had the audience roaring as he railed against the ridiculousness of the once-fertile Karoo area of South Africa, now only good for eco-tourism, and of a whole country's "light grade of sorryness".

His neat repetition of words and phrases were as adept as a stand-up comic's. Some were sure a smile had cracked his lips. It was, admittedly, a brief smile. A move into comic fiction is unlikely. But it was indicative of a gradual shift in Coetzee's frosty outlook towards a more amused - or perhaps bemused - attitude to life. In his current book Summertime, the fictional biographer of a writer also called Coetzee moans that his work lacks ambition. "Too cool, too neat, I would say. Too easy. Too lacking in passion." He probably allowed himself a grin when he wrote that, too.

But do people actually want South African authors to be serious? There's a perception that South African writers aren't meant to be funny. They're supposed to be political, gritty realists. Perhaps one of the great by-products of the World Cup is that it has transmitted an often-overlooked sense of joy in the country. At the very moment South Africa were beating France on the football pitch, Wicomb, Baderoon and Driver grappled with that very problem. There's a sense that the history of the country can be almost suffocating.

"I've been to quite a lot of literary festivals this year, and people still want to talk about apartheid. In 2010!" says Wicomb with a shake of her head. "Honestly, they don't know what else to ask us. It's like a nostalgia, in that it enables people to anchor the whole notion of why we write in their minds. "It's as if apartheid was this positive, enabling thing because it gave us the content we needed to create stories."

Wicomb's second novel, David's Story, takes place in 1991 and explores racial identity, but her recent collection of shorts, The One That Got Away, focuses on human relationships. The setting is important, but not overbearing. The poet Gabeba Baderoon, too, is more contemplative, less obviously political in her approach. It's the resonance of the situations her characters find themselves in that is crucial, rather than the specific discussion of race or poverty. But it's meant that she's also found the reaction to her work, at times, surprising.

"At my very first literature festival, in Germany, I was introduced as 'a South African writer who doesn't sound like a South African'," she remembers. "I was really taken aback because they weren't talking about my accent but my work, in that it doesn't explicitly reference apartheid. So it was almost like 'what is she doing, calling herself a South African writer?'. That can be so constricting. "Somebody asked me recently whether it would be possible to write a novel set in 1970s South Africa without mentioning apartheid. And of course it would be difficult and probably morally problematic. But for me, you don't have to specifically name it."

As a black South African Muslim, Baderoon is more aware than most that being labelled is not helpful, which is why her work - particularly her poem Play, Or, Watching A Film About Muslim Boys - is so thoughtful and open to interpretation. "You have to be alert to the nuances," she says. "Anyone who goes to Cape Town will have heard the call to prayer, and that's part of the landscape. But it's not separate, it's part of the larger tapestry.

"The broad expanse of our history includes the colonial period which brought Muslims to South Africa as slaves, and there are now good novels about that. My interest in representations of Islam takes in all that, the history, novels by Yvette Christiansë, plays from Nadia Davids. But it feels a very South African approach, not at all similar to the scenes in the US or the UK." It's this great depth of feeling about the country which connects all four writers at the Worlds Literature Festival, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact not one of them actually lives there today.

CJ Driver, who was placed in solitary confinement for his work with the anti-apartheid movement and whose early books were banned in South Africa, says he returns from England as often as he can. The short story Coetzee reads is an elegy for the old lifestyles of the Karoo, written in his new Australian home. Wicomb feels she can only write about South Africa, a place that she finds "incredible and moving", because she doesn't feel a sense of belonging in Scotland.

Gabeba Baderoon has lived all over the world but says she finds it "hard to attach myself to another piece of ground". Indeed, she's going back to Cape Town later this year, to begin a fellowship at the university and write a book. But it's left to CJ Driver to explain the magic of a country which, as Baderoon excitedly points out, is developing a palpably vibrant literary scene. "I look like an Englishman, and I even sound like one now. I have an English passport, an English wife and English children. But I dream about the Karoo and its expanses."

And so, it seems, does JM Coetzee. With, these days, just the hint of a smile. For more information visit www.writerscentrenorwich.org

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'Avengers: Infinity War'
Dir: The Russo Brothers
Starring: Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Tom Holland, Robert Downey Junior, Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen
Four stars

JOKE'S%20ON%20YOU
%3Cp%3EGoogle%20wasn't%20new%20to%20busting%20out%20April%20Fool's%20jokes%3A%20before%20the%20Gmail%20%22prank%22%2C%20it%20tricked%20users%20with%20%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fmentalplex%2F%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Emind-reading%20MentalPlex%20responses%3C%2Fa%3E%20and%20said%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fpigeonrank%2F%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3E%20well-fed%20pigeons%20were%20running%20its%20search%20engine%20operations%3C%2Fa%3E%20.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EIn%20subsequent%20years%2C%20they%20announced%20home%20internet%20services%20through%20your%20toilet%20with%20its%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Ftisp%2Finstall.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Epatented%20GFlush%20system%3C%2Fa%3E%22%2C%20made%20us%20believe%20the%20Moon's%20surface%20was%20made%20of%20cheese%20and%20unveiled%20a%20dating%20service%20in%20which%20they%20called%20founders%20Sergey%20Brin%20and%20Larry%20Page%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fromance%2Fpress.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3EStanford%20PhD%20wannabes%3C%2Fa%3E%20%22.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EBut%20Gmail%20was%20all%20too%20real%2C%20purportedly%20inspired%20by%20one%20%E2%80%93%20a%20single%20%E2%80%93%20Google%20user%20complaining%20about%20the%20%22poor%20quality%20of%20existing%20email%20services%22%20and%20born%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fgooglepress.blogspot.com%2F2004%2F04%2Fgoogle-gets-message-launches-gmail.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Emillions%20of%20M%26amp%3BMs%20later%3C%2Fa%3E%22.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
TO A LAND UNKNOWN

Director: Mahdi Fleifel

Starring: Mahmoud Bakri, Aram Sabbah, Mohammad Alsurafa

Rating: 4.5/5

VEZEETA PROFILE

Date started: 2012

Founder: Amir Barsoum

Based: Dubai, UAE

Sector: HealthTech / MedTech

Size: 300 employees

Funding: $22.6 million (as of September 2018)

Investors: Technology Development Fund, Silicon Badia, Beco Capital, Vostok New Ventures, Endeavour Catalyst, Crescent Enterprises’ CE-Ventures, Saudi Technology Ventures and IFC

Moon Music

Artist: Coldplay

Label: Parlophone/Atlantic

Number of tracks: 10

Rating: 3/5

Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale

Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni

Director: Amith Krishnan

Rating: 3.5/5

Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

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Business Insights
  • As per the document, there are six filing options, including choosing to report on a realisation basis and transitional rules for pre-tax period gains or losses. 
  • SMEs with revenue below Dh3 million per annum can opt for transitional relief until 2026, treating them as having no taxable income. 
  • Larger entities have specific provisions for asset and liability movements, business restructuring, and handling foreign permanent establishments.
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Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
Rating: 4/5
Mina Cup winners

Under 12 – Minerva Academy

Under 14 – Unam Pumas

Under 16 – Fursan Hispania

Under 18 – Madenat

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Citadel: Honey Bunny first episode

Directors: Raj & DK

Stars: Varun Dhawan, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Kashvi Majmundar, Kay Kay Menon

Rating: 4/5

From Zero

Artist: Linkin Park

Label: Warner Records

Number of tracks: 11

Rating: 4/5

The biog

Hobbies: Writing and running
Favourite sport: beach volleyball
Favourite holiday destinations: Turkey and Puerto Rico​

Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Rating: 2/5
 
The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

World%20Food%20Day%20
%3Cp%3ECelebrated%20on%20October%2016%2C%20to%20coincide%20with%20the%20founding%20date%20of%20the%20United%20Nations%20Food%20and%20Agriculture%20Organisation%2C%20World%20Food%20Day%20aims%20to%20tackle%20issues%20such%20as%20hunger%2C%20food%20security%2C%20food%20waste%20and%20the%20environmental%20impact%20of%20food%20production.%20%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20Witcher%20-%20season%20three
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Disclaimer

Director: Alfonso Cuaron 

Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville 

Rating: 4/5

The specs
 
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
No more lice

Defining head lice

Pediculus humanus capitis are tiny wingless insects that feed on blood from the human scalp. The adult head louse is up to 3mm long, has six legs, and is tan to greyish-white in colour. The female lives up to four weeks and, once mature, can lay up to 10 eggs per day. These tiny nits firmly attach to the base of the hair shaft, get incubated by body heat and hatch in eight days or so.

Identifying lice

Lice can be identified by itching or a tickling sensation of something moving within the hair. One can confirm that a person has lice by looking closely through the hair and scalp for nits, nymphs or lice. Head lice are most frequently located behind the ears and near the neckline.

Treating lice at home

Head lice must be treated as soon as they are spotted. Start by checking everyone in the family for them, then follow these steps. Remove and wash all clothing and bedding with hot water. Apply medicine according to the label instructions. If some live lice are still found eight to 12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not re-treat. Comb dead and remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine-toothed comb.
After the initial treatment, check for, comb and remove nits and lice from hair every two to three days. Soak combs and brushes in hot water for 10 minutes.Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay.

Courtesy Dr Vishal Rajmal Mehta, specialist paediatrics, RAK Hospital

The story in numbers

18

This is how many recognised sects Lebanon is home to, along with about four million citizens

450,000

More than this many Palestinian refugees are registered with UNRWA in Lebanon, with about 45 per cent of them living in the country’s 12 refugee camps

1.5 million

There are just under 1 million Syrian refugees registered with the UN, although the government puts the figure upwards of 1.5m

73

The percentage of stateless people in Lebanon, who are not of Palestinian origin, born to a Lebanese mother, according to a 2012-2013 study by human rights organisation Frontiers Ruwad Association

18,000

The number of marriages recorded between Lebanese women and foreigners between the years 1995 and 2008, according to a 2009 study backed by the UN Development Programme

77,400

The number of people believed to be affected by the current nationality law, according to the 2009 UN study

4,926

This is how many Lebanese-Palestinian households there were in Lebanon in 2016, according to a census by the Lebanese-Palestinian dialogue committee

Electoral College Victory

Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate. 

 

Popular Vote Tally

The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4
Company%20Profile
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The Uefa Awards winners

Uefa Men's Player of the Year: Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool)

Uefa Women's Player of the Year: Lucy Bronze (Lyon)

Best players of the 2018/19 Uefa Champions League

Goalkeeper: Alisson (Liverpool)

Defender: Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool)

Midfielder: Frenkie de Jong (Ajax)

Forward: Lionel Messi (Barcelona)

Uefa President's Award: Eric Cantona

Thor%3A%20Love%20and%20Thunder%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Taika%20Waititi%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Chris%20Hemsworth%2C%20Natalie%20Portman%2C%20Christian%20Bale%2C%20Russell%20Crowe%2C%20Tessa%20Thompson%2C%20Taika%20Waititi%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

Film: In Syria
Dir: Philippe Van Leeuw
Starring: Hiam Abbass, Diamand Bo Abboud, Mohsen Abbas and Juliette Navis
Verdict: Four stars

Honeymoonish
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The specs

Engine: 6.2-litre supercharged V8

Power: 712hp at 6,100rpm

Torque: 881Nm at 4,800rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 19.6 l/100km

Price: Dh380,000

On sale: now 

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
The stats: 2017 Jaguar XJ

Price, base / as tested Dh326,700 / Dh342,700

Engine 3.0L V6

Transmission Eight-speed automatic

Power 340hp @ 6,000pm

Torque 450Nm @ 3,500rpm

Fuel economy, combined 9.1L / 100km

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAlmouneer%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202017%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dr%20Noha%20Khater%20and%20Rania%20Kadry%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EEgypt%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E120%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EBootstrapped%2C%20with%20support%20from%20Insead%20and%20Egyptian%20government%2C%20seed%20round%20of%20%3Cbr%3E%243.6%20million%20led%20by%20Global%20Ventures%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
THE SPECS

Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine 

Power: 420kW

Torque: 780Nm

Transmission: 8-speed automatic

Price: From Dh1,350,000

On sale: Available for preorder now

The Saudi Cup race card

1 The Jockey Club Local Handicap (TB) 1,800m (Dirt) $500,000

2 The Riyadh Dirt Sprint (TB) 1,200m (D) $1.500,000

3 The 1351 Turf Sprint 1,351m (Turf) $1,000,000

4 The Saudi Derby (TB) 1600m (D) $800,000

5 The Neom Turf Cup (TB) 2,100m (T) $1,000,000

6 The Obaiya Arabian Classic (PB) 2,000m (D) $1,900,000

7 The Red Sea Turf Handicap (TB) 3,000m (T) $2,500,000

8 The Saudi Cup (TB) 1,800m (D) $20,000,000