It was the most embarrassing moment ever, and it deserved the dressing down I received.
I was happily going through the motions of the latest driving lesson, this one a drive around a two-way course in the Emirates Driving Company (EDC) compound.
I was alone in the car. Having completed my area-three lessons, I had to take the corresponding tower lessons, where you have to repeat the activity alone in the car with the guidance of an instructor in the school's control towers. It was disconcerting not to have a fail buffer, but it was also good not to have my hand held.
But it only took those few moments I had alone in the car to become a stereotypical UAE-based driver. It was shocking - and surreal.
The course was filled with learner drivers, all trying to park in different ways, an elaborate hive mind. There were also numerous stop signs, usually near the parking spots, that compelled the drivers to take it easy in the vicinity.
I got a couple of reprimands from the ephemeral voice on the radio for not making a complete stop near the, well, "Stop" signs. I didn't see a reason to do that because there were no cars pulling out of the car parks, but I figured I'd follow the rules anyway.
I drove around the course, quite bored. It was rather monotonous, and the accelerator was mysteriously disconnected, basically killing the only challenging aspect of driving in a big square.
Then I arrived near a few parking spots that were occupied. A student driver was attempting to back out from a 90-degree parking spot as I approached. I didn't think it over too much and just swerved around the back of the car as it was leaving the bay, probably the way many Abu Dhabi drivers would have done.
All hell broke loose. The tower radioed over that I had to stop immediately. I was lectured for what felt like an hour about safe driving and why I shouldn't have risked crashing into another student's car. I closed my eyes and hoped it would all go away. Stop signs and reckless driving - two strikes.
Eventually an instructor joined me in the car to tell me what I had done wrong. As it turned out I had also accidentally been enrolled in the tower class before I took all of the regular classes.
So it wasn't completely my fault.
After a few more parking exercises, I was ready to look ahead. As the driving lessons series draws to a close, I still have a lot ahead of me. If I could do the lessons full time, I probably would be done by now, but as it is, I'm juggling it with a lot of other things.
I quizzed my instructor on the lessons. I have still to do areas four and five, which will introduce me to driving in what is a miniature town inside the EDC compound, with roundabouts, traffic lights, two-way streets and road signs, and, crucially, other people. It is a shame you can't really train to drive on a proper highway though.
There is also the parking test that I'll have to do, which doesn't appear to be particularly complicated, except perhaps at my skill level.
After that I get three shots at passing and getting my licence, the instructor told me. Three shots, that's it? Apparently yes, then, if I fail, I have to go back for area-six training, which involves driving around near the school, in Musaffah.
I'm not sure how I feel about driving in the area, which has many large trucks on its roads. At any rate, he told me after that I had five more shots at passing, and after that it would be close to impossible to get a licence, he said.
Now that I knew there was a finite number of attempts, I worried. I could completely mess this thing up, I thought. I conveyed my fears to the instructor. Don't worry, he said, only those who are really terrible drivers fail that often.
I hope I won't prove him right.
kshaheen@thenational.ae
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
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The Buckingham Murders
Starring: Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ash Tandon, Prabhleen Sandhu
Director: Hansal Mehta
Rating: 4 / 5
The five stages of early child’s play
From Dubai-based clinical psychologist Daniella Salazar:
1. Solitary Play: This is where Infants and toddlers start to play on their own without seeming to notice the people around them. This is the beginning of play.
2. Onlooker play: This occurs where the toddler enjoys watching other people play. There doesn’t necessarily need to be any effort to begin play. They are learning how to imitate behaviours from others. This type of play may also appear in children who are more shy and introverted.
3. Parallel Play: This generally starts when children begin playing side-by-side without any interaction. Even though they aren’t physically interacting they are paying attention to each other. This is the beginning of the desire to be with other children.
4. Associative Play: At around age four or five, children become more interested in each other than in toys and begin to interact more. In this stage children start asking questions and talking about the different activities they are engaging in. They realise they have similar goals in play such as building a tower or playing with cars.
5. Social Play: In this stage children are starting to socialise more. They begin to share ideas and follow certain rules in a game. They slowly learn the definition of teamwork. They get to engage in basic social skills and interests begin to lead social interactions.
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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
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'The worst thing you can eat'
Trans fat is typically found in fried and baked goods, but you may be consuming more than you think.
Powdered coffee creamer, microwave popcorn and virtually anything processed with a crust is likely to contain it, as this guide from Mayo Clinic outlines:
Baked goods - Most cakes, cookies, pie crusts and crackers contain shortening, which is usually made from partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. Ready-made frosting is another source of trans fat.
Snacks - Potato, corn and tortilla chips often contain trans fat. And while popcorn can be a healthy snack, many types of packaged or microwave popcorn use trans fat to help cook or flavour the popcorn.
Fried food - Foods that require deep frying — french fries, doughnuts and fried chicken — can contain trans fat from the oil used in the cooking process.
Refrigerator dough - Products such as canned biscuits and cinnamon rolls often contain trans fat, as do frozen pizza crusts.
Creamer and margarine - Nondairy coffee creamer and stick margarines also may contain partially hydrogenated vegetable oils.
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What%20is%20Dungeons%20%26%20Dragons%3F%20
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COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
Company%20Profile
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Company profile
Name: Oulo.com
Founder: Kamal Nazha
Based: Dubai
Founded: 2020
Number of employees: 5
Sector: Technology
Funding: $450,000
Nepotism is the name of the game
Salman Khan’s father, Salim Khan, is one of Bollywood’s most legendary screenwriters. Through his partnership with co-writer Javed Akhtar, Salim is credited with having paved the path for the Indian film industry’s blockbuster format in the 1970s. Something his son now rules the roost of. More importantly, the Salim-Javed duo also created the persona of the “angry young man” for Bollywood megastar Amitabh Bachchan in the 1970s, reflecting the angst of the average Indian. In choosing to be the ordinary man’s “hero” as opposed to a thespian in new Bollywood, Salman Khan remains tightly linked to his father’s oeuvre. Thanks dad.
The Al Barzakh Festival takes place on Wednesday and Thursday at 7.30pm in the Red Theatre, NYUAD, Saadiyat Island. Tickets cost Dh105 for adults from platinumlist.net
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The specs
Engine: Long-range single or dual motor with 200kW or 400kW battery
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 620km / 590km
Price: From Dh250,000 (estimated)