"Latin's a dead language, as dead as dead can be, it killed off all the Romans but it's big at EFC."
OK, that is not quite the schoolboy rhyme of my youth. However, following an extraordinary few days at Everton FC, the new version may take hold.
Who knows, at this precise moment, a young scamp may be carving it into his desk with a compass, or whatever the modern equivalent is. Twinking it onto his Facespace, perhaps?
Robert Elstone, Everton's chief executive, was forced to make a humiliating U-turn after launching a modified club crest which would, the marketing men said, improve and unify global branding. (Translation: we need a simpler badge so the factories knocking out cheap shirts abroad can get it right.)
Several parts of the old design were removed, including a pair of laurel wreaths and the railings around Prince Rupert's Tower. (Long story.)
The omission which caused the gravest offence among Evertonians, however, was the scroll bearing the club motto "Nil Satis Nisi Optimum". Only the best is good enough.
More than 20,000 Evertonians signed a petition demanding the old crest be re-instated. Eventually the club capitulated to fan pressure.
They will keep the offending badge for this season but pledged to design a new one, with proper consultation of fans, in time for the start of next season.
Will that one feature the Latin motto? Does the genitive plural always end in -um?! (For the non-Evertonians, that means yes.)
Now, those of you who have visited Goodison Park on a match day might be forgiven for assuming the Gwladys Street End is not a hot bed for the classics. Not unless you mean Reebok Classics.
Well, evidently you were wrong. They love a bit of "amo, amas, eh mate".
Cruel rival fans might also express surprise at the content of Everton's motto, seeing as their last "Optimum" league finish was in 1987.
So perhaps - whisper it – now would be the ideal time to adapt that motto.
"Nil Satis Nisi Optimum. Sed Verberans Vicinis Faciemus." Only the best is good enough. But beating the neighbours will do."
And while we are in tweak mode, why stop with Everton? Plenty of Premier League giants have Latin mottos.
Arsenal's is "Victoria Concordia Crescit", or "Victory comes from harmony", which might explain a few things.
How about something more upbeat: "Quarta Nova Primo." Fourth is the new first.
Chelsea's motto is "Nisi Domius Frustra". Unless God is with us, all will be in vain.
Suggested addition: "Sine Romano, Omnium Indebitatur." Without Roman, all will be in debt.
West Bromwich Albion originally adopted the town's motto of "Labor Omnia Vincit", or "Work conquers all."
Well, it was either that or "Boing Boing Baggies Boing", which does not look very elegant on a scroll.
Confusingly, "work conquers all" would seem like a much better fit for the ever-industrious Stoke City's motto.
However, it cannot be, because the Potters' preferred mission statement is "Vis Unita Fortior", or United strength is stronger.
United strikers, on the other hand, are often crocked. As the failed Michael Owen experiment proved.
Sunderland's Latin motto, "Consectatio Excellentiae", is rather clever. It means "in pursuit of excellence" - but cunningly offers no guarantees about when, if ever, such a goal will be achieved.
Local rivals Newcastle, meanwhile, have plumped for "Fortiter Defendit Triumphans", or "Triumphing by brave defence".
Under the Kevin Keegan years, presumably, this was changed to "Perniciosasque Triumphans Per Impetum, Deinde Amisso". Triumphing by suicidal attack, then losing.
Bit of mouthful, to be honest. What is wrong with "Ingens Fuste", or "massive club"?
Manchester United have no Latin motto, so we start with a clean slate. A club of such magnitude needs something masterful, something Caesar-esque for the loyal fans.
"Venimus, Vidimus, Vicimus. Transivimus Domum Ad Wigorniensem." We came, we saw, we conquered. We went back home to Worcestershire."
And so to a spot test. Which English football club has the motto: "Superbia In Proelio"?
No, not Tottenham. You are getting understandably confused with "Supermarket in Progress".
No, not Fulham either, although you may hear its well-heeled fans braying that they enjoy football for its "superb proles".
In fact, the answer is Manchester City, and it means "pride in battle" - a quality in short supply towards the end of Roberto Mancini's reign.
Not all football clubs have Latin mottos, of course. Some are in English, of all things.
Premier League new boys Cardiff City's badge says "Fire and Passion", although when they play Leeds it should probably read "Fire, Police and Ambulance".
And arguably the simplest motto to grace a crest is the single English word "Prepared", beneath a lion rampant.
Its owner, ironically, is a place where Latin should feel at home: Villa.
Follow us @SprtNationalUAE
What are the GCSE grade equivalents?
- Grade 9 = above an A*
- Grade 8 = between grades A* and A
- Grade 7 = grade A
- Grade 6 = just above a grade B
- Grade 5 = between grades B and C
- Grade 4 = grade C
- Grade 3 = between grades D and E
- Grade 2 = between grades E and F
- Grade 1 = between grades F and G
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
Juliet, Naked
Dir: Jesse Peretz
Starring: Chris O'Dowd, Rose Byrne, Ethan Hawke
Two stars
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
The specs
Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
Power: 620hp from 5,750-7,500rpm
Torque: 760Nm from 3,000-5,750rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed dual-clutch auto
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh1.05 million ($286,000)
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
RECORD%20BREAKER
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20debutant%20for%20Barcelona%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2015%20years%20and%20290%20days%20v%20Real%20Betis%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20La%20Liga%20starter%20in%20the%2021st%20century%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E16%20years%20and%2038%20days%20v%20Cadiz%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20player%20to%20register%20an%20assist%20in%20La%20Liga%20in%20the%2021st%20century%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E16%20years%20and%2045%20days%20v%20Villarreal%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20debutant%20for%20Spain%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2016%20years%20and%2057%20days%20v%20Georgia%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20goalscorer%20for%20Spain%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2016%20years%20and%2057%20days%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20player%20to%20score%20in%20a%20Euro%20qualifier%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2016%20years%20and%2057%20days%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Conflict, drought, famine
Estimates of the number of deaths caused by the famine range from 400,000 to 1 million, according to a document prepared for the UK House of Lords in 2024.
It has been claimed that the policies of the Ethiopian government, which took control after deposing Emperor Haile Selassie in a military-led revolution in 1974, contributed to the scale of the famine.
Dr Miriam Bradley, senior lecturer in humanitarian studies at the University of Manchester, has argued that, by the early 1980s, “several government policies combined to cause, rather than prevent, a famine which lasted from 1983 to 1985. Mengistu’s government imposed Stalinist-model agricultural policies involving forced collectivisation and villagisation [relocation of communities into planned villages].
The West became aware of the catastrophe through a series of BBC News reports by journalist Michael Buerk in October 1984 describing a “biblical famine” and containing graphic images of thousands of people, including children, facing starvation.
Band Aid
Bob Geldof, singer with the Irish rock group The Boomtown Rats, formed Band Aid in response to the horrific images shown in the news broadcasts.
With Midge Ure of the band Ultravox, he wrote the hit charity single Do They Know it’s Christmas in December 1984, featuring a string of high-profile musicians.
Following the single’s success, the idea to stage a rock concert evolved.
Live Aid was a series of simultaneous concerts that took place at Wembley Stadium in London, John F Kennedy Stadium in Philadelphia, the US, and at various other venues across the world.
The combined event was broadcast to an estimated worldwide audience of 1.5 billion.
Tightening the screw on rogue recruiters
The UAE overhauled the procedure to recruit housemaids and domestic workers with a law in 2017 to protect low-income labour from being exploited.
Only recruitment companies authorised by the government are permitted as part of Tadbeer, a network of labour ministry-regulated centres.
A contract must be drawn up for domestic workers, the wages and job offer clearly stating the nature of work.
The contract stating the wages, work entailed and accommodation must be sent to the employee in their home country before they depart for the UAE.
The contract will be signed by the employer and employee when the domestic worker arrives in the UAE.
Only recruitment agencies registered with the ministry can undertake recruitment and employment applications for domestic workers.
Penalties for illegal recruitment in the UAE include fines of up to Dh100,000 and imprisonment
But agents not authorised by the government sidestep the law by illegally getting women into the country on visit visas.
Squid Game season two
Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk
Stars: Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun
Rating: 4.5/5
KEY HIGHLIGHTS
Healthcare spending to double to $2.2 trillion rupees
Launched a 641billion-rupee federal health scheme
Allotted 200 billion rupees for the recapitalisation of state-run banks
Around 1.75 trillion rupees allotted for privatisation and stake sales in state-owned assets
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Company profile
Name: Fruitful Day
Founders: Marie-Christine Luijckx, Lyla Dalal AlRawi, Lindsey Fournie
Based: Dubai, UAE
Founded: 2015
Number of employees: 30
Sector: F&B
Funding so far: Dh3 million
Future funding plans: None at present
Future markets: Saudi Arabia, potentially Kuwait and other GCC countries
The National Archives, Abu Dhabi
Founded over 50 years ago, the National Archives collects valuable historical material relating to the UAE, and is the oldest and richest archive relating to the Arabian Gulf.
Much of the material can be viewed on line at the Arabian Gulf Digital Archive - https://www.agda.ae/en
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2.0-litre%204-cyl%20turbo%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E190hp%20at%205%2C600rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E320Nm%20at%201%2C500-4%2C000rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E7-speed%20dual-clutch%20auto%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E10.9L%2F100km%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh119%2C900%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
More coverage from the Future Forum
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Global state-owned investor ranking by size
1.
|
United States
|
2.
|
China
|
3.
|
UAE
|
4.
|
Japan
|
5
|
Norway
|
6.
|
Canada
|
7.
|
Singapore
|
8.
|
Australia
|
9.
|
Saudi Arabia
|
10.
|
South Korea
|
How it works
1) The liquid nanoclay is a mixture of water and clay that aims to convert desert land to fertile ground
2) Instead of water draining straight through the sand, it apparently helps the soil retain water
3) One application is said to last five years
4) The cost of treatment per hectare (2.4 acres) of desert varies from $7,000 to $10,000 per hectare
DUBAI CARNIVAL RESULTS
6.30pm Handicap US$135,000 (Turf) 2,410m
Winner Dubai Future, Harry Bentley (jockey), Saeed bin Suroor (trainer).
7.05pm UAE 1000 Guineas Listed $250,000 (Dirt) 1,600m
Winner Dubai Love, Patrick Cosgrave, Saeed bin Suroor.
7.40pm Dubai Dash Listed $175,000 (T) 1,000m
Winner: Equilateral, James Doyle, Charles Hills.
8.15pm Al Bastakiya Trial Conditions $100,000 (D) 1.900m
Winner Laser Show, Kevin Stott, Saeed bin Suroor.
8.50pm Al Fahidi Fort Group Two $250,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner Glorious Journey, James Doyle, Charlie Appleby.
9.25pm Handicap $135,000 (D) 2,000m
Winner George Villiers, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
GAC GS8 Specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 248hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 400Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 9.1L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh149,900
The currency conundrum
Russ Mould, investment director at online trading platform AJ Bell, says almost every major currency has challenges right now. “The US has a huge budget deficit, the euro faces political friction and poor growth, sterling is bogged down by Brexit, China’s renminbi is hit by debt fears while slowing Chinese growth is hurting commodity exporters like Australia and Canada.”
Most countries now actively want a weak currency to make their exports more competitive. “China seems happy to let the renminbi drift lower, the Swiss are still running quantitative easing at full tilt and central bankers everywhere are actively talking down their currencies or offering only limited support," says Mr Mould.
This is a race to the bottom, and everybody wants to be a winner.
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Jeff Buckley: From Hallelujah To The Last Goodbye
By Dave Lory with Jim Irvin