A friend sent me a photo the other day – a group of women "of a certain age", as the French like to say, laughing uproariously, with the type of intimacy that only comes with years of friendship.
For a split second, as I looked at the photo, I thought my friend had sent me a picture of our mothers from long ago, but I was wrong. The picture was of us, a group of friends who have known each other from college. One of the things we were laughing about, if I remember correctly, was the fact that we have now known each other longer than we haven’t known each other. That math stunned us, especially given that when we are together, we still feel (and perhaps sometimes act) as if we’re the same age as when we first met. In my mind’s eye, when I think about these friends, I see them as they were when I first met them.
But the photo, of course, tells a very different story. We’re wearing more sensible shoes than we did in our twenties, and if we dare a high heel at this point, we pay the price in aching backs and sore arches the next day. When the menus come out at the restaurant, so do the reading glasses. With these friends, I experience the same kind of double vision that I sometimes do with my children: I see the past and the present simultaneously, hear the echoes of old voices mingling with the current conversations.
Lately, I’ve had that same experience when I drive around Abu Dhabi, although the double vision is literal rather than metaphoric. I can see the skeletons of buildings from the 1950s and 1960s coming down as the exoskeleton of yet another glass tower gets put in place. The buildings gleam as they go up, but every shiny tower suffers the same fate: an eventual en croute wrapping of salt, sand and dust that is the inevitable gift of the Gulf air.
Like many cities, Abu Dhabi seems to be in a state of perpetual transition, but transitions seem to happen faster here, and with less warning. One day, your favorite bakery is there, the next day it’s shuttered up and no one knows when, or if, it will re-open. Even if the eventual replacement bakes wonderful bread, we lose the thread of the relationship we had with the previous tenant who knew which kind of naan we preferred without us having to ask. I am sure that some Abu Dhabians are still in mourning for the loss of the Volcano Fountain, for example, even though they take pleasure in the bike paths along the newer Corniche.
In New York and in Abu Dhabi, my children get bored with my retrospection. My litanies of “that used to be…” and “remember when there was…” only frustrates them; they’re young and believe in the unfettered benefit of progress. In their minds, I’m pretty much just a cranky old lady who spends too much time thinking about things “back in the day”. They’re right, to some degree, I suppose (don’t tell them I said that), but I can’t help but wonder what happens if we lose our anchors to the past?
If a city loses all its old neighborhoods and buildings, the arc of its progress gets lost in the process, along with, perhaps, its origin stories. Abu Dhabi’s amazing transformation from pearl-diving outpost to global hub seems less amazing if all we see when we walk around is an unbroken row of glass towers marching along the coastline of the Gulf. Long-time friendships serve a similar purpose: they become intimate mirrors that reflect our progress and our choices; they mark the paths of our lives like threads that guide us through a maze.
The photo that my friend sent me is not the most flattering picture of me, and while I wish I were wearing more fashionable shoes, I’m going to frame the picture nonetheless. It’s a snapshot of our current moment – and our past.
Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
RESULTS
6.30pm UAE 1000 Guineas Trial Conditions (TB) US$100,000 (Dirt) 1,400m
Winner Final Song, Christophe Soumillon (jockey), Saeed bin Suroor (trainer).
7.05pm Handicap (TB) $135,000 (Turf) 1,000m
Winner Almanaara, Dane O’Neill, Doug Watson.
7.40pm Handicap (TB) $175,000 (D) 1,900m
Winner Grand Argentier, Brett Doyle, Doug Watson.
8.15pm Meydan Challenge Listed Handicap (TB) $175,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner Major Partnership, Patrick Cosgrave, Saeed bin Suroor.
8.50pm Dubai Stakes Group 3 (TB) $200,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner Gladiator King, Mickael Barzalona, Satish Seemar.
9.25pm Dubai Racing Club Classic Listed Handicap (TB) $175,000 (T) 2,410m
Winner Universal Order, Richard Mullen, David Simcock.
Common OCD symptoms and how they manifest
Checking: the obsession or thoughts focus on some harm coming from things not being as they should, which usually centre around the theme of safety. For example, the obsession is “the building will burn down”, therefore the compulsion is checking that the oven is switched off.
Contamination: the obsession is focused on the presence of germs, dirt or harmful bacteria and how this will impact the person and/or their loved ones. For example, the obsession is “the floor is dirty; me and my family will get sick and die”, the compulsion is repetitive cleaning.
Orderliness: the obsession is a fear of sitting with uncomfortable feelings, or to prevent harm coming to oneself or others. Objectively there appears to be no logical link between the obsession and compulsion. For example,” I won’t feel right if the jars aren’t lined up” or “harm will come to my family if I don’t line up all the jars”, so the compulsion is therefore lining up the jars.
Intrusive thoughts: the intrusive thought is usually highly distressing and repetitive. Common examples may include thoughts of perpetrating violence towards others, harming others, or questions over one’s character or deeds, usually in conflict with the person’s true values. An example would be: “I think I might hurt my family”, which in turn leads to the compulsion of avoiding social gatherings.
Hoarding: the intrusive thought is the overvaluing of objects or possessions, while the compulsion is stashing or hoarding these items and refusing to let them go. For example, “this newspaper may come in useful one day”, therefore, the compulsion is hoarding newspapers instead of discarding them the next day.
Source: Dr Robert Chandler, clinical psychologist at Lighthouse Arabia
The specs
Engine: 77.4kW all-wheel-drive dual motor
Power: 320bhp
Torque: 605Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh219,000
On sale: Now
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
The specs
Engine: 8.0-litre, quad-turbo 16-cylinder
Transmission: 7-speed auto
0-100kmh 2.3 seconds
0-200kmh 5.5 seconds
0-300kmh 11.6 seconds
Power: 1500hp
Torque: 1600Nm
Price: Dh13,400,000
On sale: now
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Film: Raid
Dir: Rajkumar Gupta
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Ileana D'cruz and Saurabh Shukla
Verdict: Three stars
Our legal advisor
Ahmad El Sayed is Senior Associate at Charles Russell Speechlys, a law firm headquartered in London with offices in the UK, Europe, the Middle East and Hong Kong.
Experience: Commercial litigator who has assisted clients with overseas judgments before UAE courts. His specialties are cases related to banking, real estate, shareholder disputes, company liquidations and criminal matters as well as employment related litigation.
Education: Sagesse University, Beirut, Lebanon, in 2005.
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Cryopreservation: A timeline
- Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
- Ovarian tissue surgically removed
- Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
- Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
- Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding