It is fair to say that we officially disapprove of infidelity. This is a Muslim country and adultery is considered the tenth greatest sin in Islam. But disapproval of something does not mean that it doesn’t happen. In fact, one of the chief complaints I received on social media about an earlier piece I wrote on rising levels of divorce in this country was that adultery was not cited as a significant reason.
“Most couples I know who are divorced is because of adultery, I’m surprised that wasn’t mentioned in the article,” was one Facebook comment.
“Men still looking for other woman (2nd or 3rd wife), affairs or sex partners,” was another.
“Facts missing (in your piece),” tweeted a third, “high men infidelity rate.”
Most of the social media responses that mentioned adultery were from Emirati women, prompting three questions: is it true that extramarital affairs are one of the main reasons for rising levels of divorce? And if so, are more Emirati men being unfaithful to their wives? Or is it that more women are unwilling to put up with such behaviour from their husbands?
Marriage counsellors privately admit that infidelity is one of the main reasons that couples are divorcing today. According to one counsellor, who asked not to be named, roughly half of all her cases end in divorce on grounds of infidelity. The problem is that in the past, men married and remarried quite easily because Islam allows four wives at any one time. But now, many women don’t accept this and refuse to be one of many wives. They consider this to be infidelity and an insult, explained the counsellor, and ask for a divorce. If there is a divorce, it may lead some men into relationships with multiple women.
The counsellor’s insights seemed to indicate that those social media responses to my article were right and adultery really was an important reason for rising divorce rates.
The issue needs to be looked at in the light of great social and technological change. In 2010, an article in the American University in Cairo publication Arab Media & Society noted: “In a conformist society like Egypt, opposite sexes generally interact and mingle only within the limited confines of socially acceptable norms. However, with the growing use of mobile phone messaging, as well as the attraction of anonymous web chat rooms and electronic social networking websites like Facebook, the once customary barriers dividing men and women are eroding.” The article quoted government figures that roughly 40 per cent of Egyptian internet users admitted “to having at least one ‘deceitful’ cyber relationship”.
The same thing is happening in other parts of the region. Easy access to the internet, mobile chat and social media have made the world much smaller and exposed us to different cultures. Many men and women want to imitate the western world and have intimate relationships outside marriage or sex before marriage.
In our culture, the popular image of a “real man” is still that of someone who does what he wants and is not afraid of his wife. So peer pressure can push married men into having girlfriends.
But what drives women to commit adultery? Here, like in other parts of the world, it can sometimes be out of anger at her husband’s unfaithfulness. Sometimes, it is triggered by an oppressive marriage.
The Arab world as a whole disapproves of adultery more than most cultures. Consider the findings of a mid-1990s International Social Survey Programme, a cross-national collaboration on topics important for social science research. It looked at 24 industrialised countries and reported that 80 per cent of Americans considered infidelity to be always wrong. So did conservative Catholic populations like the Philippines (88 per cent) and Ireland (80 per cent). Israel recorded 73 per cent, while Australia returned a figure of 59 per cent.
In our country, I think, even today, disapproval would run at nearly 100 per cent. But as we started by saying, disapproval of something does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Sarah Khamis is The National’s social media editor
salalawi@thenational.ae
On Twitter: @SarahKhamisUAE
Company profile
Name: Infinite8
Based: Dubai
Launch year: 2017
Number of employees: 90
Sector: Online gaming industry
Funding: $1.2m from a UAE angel investor
Profile of Tamatem
Date started: March 2013
Founder: Hussam Hammo
Based: Amman, Jordan
Employees: 55
Funding: $6m
Funders: Wamda Capital, Modern Electronics (part of Al Falaisah Group) and North Base Media
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
SERIE A FIXTURES
Saturday (All UAE kick-off times)
Cagliari v AC Milan (6pm)
Lazio v Napoli (9pm)
Inter Milan v Atalanta (11.45pm)
Sunday
Udinese v Sassuolo (3.30pm)
Sampdoria v Brescia (6pm)
Fiorentina v SPAL (6pm)
Torino v Bologna (6pm)
Verona v Genoa (9pm)
Roma V Juventus (11.45pm)
Parma v Lecce (11.45pm)
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Checks continue
A High Court judge issued an interim order on Friday suspending a decision by Agriculture Minister Edwin Poots to direct a stop to Brexit agri-food checks at Northern Ireland ports.
Mr Justice Colton said he was making the temporary direction until a judicial review of the minister's unilateral action this week to order a halt to port checks that are required under the Northern Ireland Protocol.
Civil servants have yet to implement the instruction, pending legal clarity on their obligations, and checks are continuing.
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if you go
The flights Fly Dubai, Air Arabia, Emirates, Etihad, and Royal Jordanian all offer direct, three-and-a-half-hour flights from the UAE to the Jordanian capital Amman. Alternatively, from June Fly Dubai will offer a new direct service from Dubai to Aqaba in the south of the country. See the airlines’ respective sites for varying prices or search on reliable price-comparison site Skyscanner.
The trip
Jamie Lafferty was a guest of the Jordan Tourist Board. For more information on adventure tourism in Jordan see Visit Jordan. A number of new and established tour companies offer the chance to go caving, rock-climbing, canyoning, and mountaineering in Jordan. Prices vary depending on how many activities you want to do and how many days you plan to stay in the country. Among the leaders are Terhaal, who offer a two-day canyoning trip from Dh845 per person. If you really want to push your limits, contact the Stronger Team. For a more trek-focused trip, KE Adventure offers an eight-day trip from Dh5,300 per person.
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylturbo
Transmission: seven-speed DSG automatic
Power: 242bhp
Torque: 370Nm
Price: Dh136,814
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Fasset%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2019%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Mohammad%20Raafi%20Hossain%2C%20Daniel%20Ahmed%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinTech%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInitial%20investment%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%242.45%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2086%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Pre-series%20B%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Investcorp%2C%20Liberty%20City%20Ventures%2C%20Fatima%20Gobi%20Ventures%2C%20Primal%20Capital%2C%20Wealthwell%20Ventures%2C%20FHS%20Capital%2C%20VN2%20Capital%2C%20local%20family%20offices%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Crops that could be introduced to the UAE
1: Quinoa
2. Bathua
3. Amaranth
4. Pearl and finger millet
5. Sorghum
Jeff Buckley: From Hallelujah To The Last Goodbye
By Dave Lory with Jim Irvin
The specs
Engine: Four electric motors, one at each wheel
Power: 579hp
Torque: 859Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh825,900
On sale: Now
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Mina Cup winners
Under 12 – Minerva Academy
Under 14 – Unam Pumas
Under 16 – Fursan Hispania
Under 18 – Madenat
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The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 268hp at 5,600rpm
Torque: 380Nm at 4,800rpm
Transmission: CVT auto
Fuel consumption: 9.5L/100km
On sale: now
Price: from Dh195,000
Naga
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The specs
Price: From Dh529,000
Engine: 5-litre V8
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Power: 520hp
Torque: 625Nm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.8L/100km
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The specs: 2019 Infiniti QX50
Price, base: Dh138,000 (estimate)
Engine: 2.0L, turbocharged, in-line four-cylinder
Transmission: Continuously variable transmission
Power: 268hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 380Nm @ 4,400rpm
Fuel economy: 6.7L / 100km (estimate)
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
'Doctor Strange in the Multiverse Of Madness'
Director: Sam Raimi
Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong, Xochitl Gomez, Michael Stuhlbarg and Rachel McAdams
Rating: 3/5
Lexus LX700h specs
Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor
Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh590,000
SPECS
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
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Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now