Earlier this month this newspaper published an article about young Emirati men favouring attractive, working women when they searched for a bride. The story sparked plenty of debate, caused a few arguments and even led some people to question the validity of the study, which had been carried out by experts at Zayed University.
It was uncomfortable for some people to hear that physical attractiveness is the most important quality that men look for when choosing a wife. The study also found that these men value a woman’s earning power over more traditional virtues.
The study marked a change from a few years ago, when the most important qualities in a prospective bride were considered the strength of her character or her being from a good family.
It is true that we do not know the number of people who were surveyed, the demographics or the research methodology used in the study.
However, there is no denying that physical attractiveness has become a very important factor in society.
Dr Ellen Berscheid, a psychologist at the University of Minnesota, has been studying physical attractiveness for 15 years. She believes that looks are more important than ever. She says that physically attractive people receive preferential treatment in society, a fact that profoundly affects their lives, including who they make friends with and what career opportunities are open to them.
Most young unmarried Emirati men would admit that they would prefer a wife who works, although this could be explained in part by the rises in the cost of living in the UAE.
Young men now want assistance from their wives to fund the cost of the luxury homes, cars and holidays that they will purchase throughout their married lives. Even so, Emirati men today are still expected to pay for the major monthly expenses although they now prefer to receive at least some financial contribution from their wives.
When it comes down to it, men will choose their ideal partner based on what they think they want.
But it is surely the responsibility of parents to teach their children, from a very young age, how to value and measure other people.
People are not a commodity and attributing so much attention to a person’s physical appearance is not treating them fairly. Parents should encourage their children to choose friends based on how kind, diligent and well-behaved their classmates are.
Children should understand that they must choose to befriend those who make them feel valued and accepted. A young person who values good manners and good behaviour will know how to choose a good partner.
We should reward our daughters for being clever and well-behaved and not just for being pretty or wearing a cute dress.
Our children will value what we value. That little boy, with a developed and clear value system will grow into a man who values others in a more complex way than a mere skin deep appreciation of beauty.
Whether or not you agree with the findings of this study, the UAE is full of attractive, employed, single women. If you are a man looking to get married, or have a son, make sure you find a wife whose character stands taller than the heels she wears.
Reema Marzouq Falah Al Ahbabi is an Emirati homemaker and MBA graduate
On Twitter: @rm_ahbabi
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
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The bio
Who inspires you?
I am in awe of the remarkable women in the Arab region, both big and small, pushing boundaries and becoming role models for generations. Emily Nasrallah was a writer, journalist, teacher and women’s rights activist
How do you relax?
Yoga relaxes me and helps me relieve tension, especially now when we’re practically chained to laptops and desks. I enjoy learning more about music and the history of famous music bands and genres.
What is favourite book?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I think I've read it more than 7 times
What is your favourite Arabic film?
Hala2 Lawen (Translation: Where Do We Go Now?) by Nadine Labaki
What is favourite English film?
Mamma Mia
Best piece of advice to someone looking for a career at Google?
If you’re interested in a career at Google, deep dive into the different career paths and pinpoint the space you want to join. When you know your space, you’re likely to identify the skills you need to develop.
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol
Power: 154bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option
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Know before you go
- Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
- If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
- By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
- Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
- Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
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SPECS
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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