Twenty years ago, Bruce Springsteen sang that he had "57 channels and nothing on". As a look into the future of television, the Boss's lament was almost prophetic. What he should have said, of course, was "57 channels and nothing on ... except CSI: Miami".
There will surely come a time when television broadcasters will do away with the subtleties of programming and simply have one version or another of CSI playing on our screens round the clock. That day is not far off.
Anyone with a passing knowledge of the region's television stations and channels is well aware of the excruciating number of reruns on our screens every day.
And while no one objects to a couple of viewings of, say, The Hangover, the odd Family Guy episode or Australia's Next Top Model, it's the sheer number of repeats that are driving viewers to switch off their televisions and head to their computers. In fact, it's possible to catch the same show three or four times in a day.
Last week, a "technical" problem meant that shows that were screened on OSN channels did not correspond to the ones scheduled on TV menus. (Note: for certain channels this is a matter of policy). Ironically, far from ruining things for viewers, this probably added a bit of spontaneity. There are few feelings to compare with seeing Dharma and Greg on the schedule only to find out that, well, anything else is playing.
It's not that quality shows are not out there. Far from it. Over the last 10 years, television dramas have enjoyed a golden age just as the quality of films, especially the dismal fare from Hollywood, has plummeted. Shows like The Sopranos, The West Wing, The Wire, Lost and many others have set standards that few mainstream films - with their formulaic, common-denominator plot lines - can match. To be fair, some of these shows have been broadcast regionally, but very rarely with any creativity of programming; Law and Order offshoots and CSIs are the order of the day.
Even comedies, inspired by the groundbreaking UK show The Office, have ditched the canned laughter with brilliant shows like 30 Rock, Entourageand several animated shows reinventing the genre. And yet we are still punished with endless repeats of According to Jim and Yes Dear.
Worse still, repeats are in danger of turning us off some of our favourite shows. Watching Jon Stewart is a rare pleasure these days. But the same, weeks-old episodes three times a day? At best it's lazy programming, and at worst treating your audience, which has few other options, with contempt.
The TV industry in the region has not yet adapted to the flood of content on the internet in the way that the music industry at least attempts to do. The poor programming, and even worse customer service, that service providers offer means that more and more people are likely to turn to Apple TV to download shows just released in the US or the UK, or even stream shows illegally onto their computers. Yes, some would rather break the law than watch another episode of Law and Order.
Which brings us back to CSI: Miami and the increasing possibility of a dystopian future in which David Caruso is forever peering over his dark shades at us. Now, I'm willing to suspend disbelief on many aspects of this show: namely, more people get murdered than actually live in the real Miami; that the technology and time spent on each case makes the moon landing seem like a lark; and that cops on the show seem to live in cribs that hip-hop stars couldn't afford.
But where I draw the line, where logic breaks down even within that fantasy world, is that any human could possibly endure working with Horatio Caine for more than a few hours, never mind eight years. We can only hope that "Mr Wolfe" will one day finally snap and tell his smug, condescending boss what to do with those shades.
And that, for once, would be a show worth watching twice.