Observing life: Chris Wright considers a career in antiques ?



I was sitting around the other day trying to think of business opportunities I could pursue, in the event that this journalism thing doesn't work out. About 19 cans of Diet Pepsi and three migraines into my brainstorming session, I had an idea: antiques. If there's one aspect of the UAE retail landscape that's been unexplored, this is surely it. I figure that with my extensive background watching Bargain Hunt reruns, along with my ability to throw phrases such as "retail landscape" into a conversation, I should be able to get a venture capitalist or two on my side.

What I won't be telling my investors, though, is that I've tried my hand at antique dealing before, and I was absolutely deplorable at it. Actually, this isn't entirely accurate. The term "antique dealing" implies that there was some dealing going on. I was more of an antique hoarder. For the year or so that I spent in the industry, I probably sold no more than a dozen items, and most of these for less than I paid for them. With hindsight, I can see that my problem was very simple: I'm an idiot.

For example, had I spent 30 seconds researching the business I was sinking my life savings into, I'd have learned that the market for brass was at its lowest ebb since the Bronze Age. Accordingly, I wouldn't have gone out and snapped up every brass candlestick I could find. This was nearly 20 years ago, and I'll warrant that the auction houses of London still ring with talk of the Mad Bidder of Bow.

Oh, but what a bidder I was. Once I'd fixed my eye on an unsaleable item, there was no stopping me. It's a mystery how I didn't get a repetitive strain injury - buyer's wrist. I recall a particularly vicious bidding war over a pair of grape-festooned wall sconces. It occurs to me now that my rival may have been bidding for the amusement of our fellow dealers. To be fair, I did eventually twig that the brass wasn't selling. I lived in a sixth-floor walk-up at the time, and it was hard to miss the fact that, after a day at market, the boxes seemed heavier on the way up than they'd been on the way down. So I branched out, mostly into carriage clocks, mostly of the non-running variety.

I used to cart my antiques around in an orange Fiat van, which remains the most reliable vehicle I've ever owned: on a journey of more than 20 kilometres, you could say with absolute certainty that it would break down. I'd trudge off down the B27953 in Aberystwyth, in search of a telephone box, worrying that someone might come and steal my inventory. I realise now that this was an absurd proposition. I realise a lot of things. If I do open my Dubai antique shop, I'll call it House of Oak, just to emphasise the fact that you won't find any brass in there. Also, you don't see many dark-wood credenzas around these days, particularly in this part of the world. People must be crying out for them.

MATCH INFO:

Second Test

Pakistan v Australia, Tuesday-Saturday, 10am​​ daily​​​​​ at Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi

Entrance is free

If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
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Game Changer

Director: Shankar 

Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram

Rating: 2/5

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