Destructive yet thrilling, caravan racing has a huge following in the UK, and you can see why from this scene in Angmering.
Destructive yet thrilling, caravan racing has a huge following in the UK, and you can see why from this scene in Angmering.

Caravans retire from the road for a golden moment on the track



A middle-aged couple stretched out on their deckchairs in the mid-afternoon sun gazing out over the thatched cottages and rolling hills of the South Downs and beyond to the thin strip of gold sand and the deep blue of the ocean. It was silent save for the light breeze rustling the branches of a beech coppice and the occasional tweet of a bird skimming the hedgerows. You could not imagine a more tranquil scene.

But then, seconds later, the air was rent with a cacophony of roars and a crescendo of revving engines as race cars entered the oval track below us. Sweet summer scents were obliterated by a noxious plume of exhaust and the acrid aroma of burning rubber. It was race day at the Oval Raceway in Angmering, in West Sussex, south-east England, and a small crowd had gathered at this local track for the banging and screeching of old, road-going coupés and saloons pressed into service as weekend racers.

But as the billowing smoke cleared, I rubbed my eyes. Had I been out in the sun too long? No, my eyes hadn't deceived me - these battered and bruised race cars were indeed towing caravans. Yes, you did read that correctly: caravans. Those mobile motels usually seen towed at a snail's pace behind hardy holidaymakers; those oblong obscenities of the road that have long become a motorist's nemesis here in the UK.

The expectation among the 600-strong crowd was palpable as everyone tensed for the mad maelstrom of destruction that lay ahead. The middle-aged couple were pressed against the fence with the rest of us cheering and clapping loudly as each contestant finished a parade lap. Then the green flag was waved and the cars screeched off the start line. I felt myself tense for the inevitable impact, but somehow they all drifted safely around the first corner and raced into the straight. I shielded my eyes from the dust as gears gnashed their way to speeds well in excess of those stipulated in the highway code. Then one caravan began to snake and, when nudged by a competitor, sheered off and came to a standstill on the outside of one of the bends. It was now a race between two caravans and a trailer. On the second lap the car with a trailer tried to collect his caravan but only succeeded in smashing it to smithereens to a howl of approval from the crowd.

With two laps of the race completed, the laws of physics had somehow been cheated and two caravans were still intact, desperately clinging to their cars like a rider trying to stay atop a rodeo.

Everyone took a deep breath and winced in anticipation as they entered the third lap and pulled alongside each other on the straight. This was going to end in tears - that much was certain. As they entered the bend, the two caravans brushed together and were both sent spiralling into the air. Time almost seemed suspended as all eyes watched them tumble and twist, then smash into pieces with an almighty thud; debris flying through the air and the carcass of kitchenettes laying strewn on the track. And still the cars raced, speeding through the debris, like stunt drivers on the set of a Hollywood film.

The heart-stopping carnage was brought to an end with a red flag and the cars made their way off the track. In the space of four minutes, they had left a scene of post-apocalyptic Armageddon, as if the light skittish breeze had suddenly whipped up into a tornado shredding everything in its path. I had just witnessed what surely must be the most exciting, eccentric and peculiarly English form of motorsport in the world.

After my heart had stopped thumping through my chest, I began to breathe easier. It was undoubtedly one of the most thrilling spectacles I'd ever witnessed. Teenagers beside me were calling their friends saying "you will not believe what I've just seen" before posting smartphone-shot videos on YouTube. Regaining a semblance of sanity, my initial thought was that usually something that exciting and dangerous is illegal, especially in Britain, where red tape is treated with as much deference as red carpet and even the most inconsequential risk is met with regulations. But anything flammable or shatterable is stripped out before the race, so I needn't have worried. It was real and raw, a high-octane activity that can be watched without the filter of health and safety gone mad. And that was part of the thrill.

As a low-cost, all-inclusive alternative to Formula One, banger racing became a popular form of motorsport in the 1970s. Race tracks sprung up across the UK and would-be racers stripped out their family runabouts and took them from the cul-de-sac to the course. Unlike in the USA, Britain allowed for contact and it soon became popular to host a demolition derby at the end of each, where the objective was not to speed past the other cars but to smash into them. Over the years, novel variations on this theme were dreamt up by track owners looking to draw in more punters with sillier and sillier races. Hearses and limousines were used and cars were even chained to each other to maximise the mayhem. But the ultimate form of this entertainment came when caravans made an appearance.

Alan Warner, 61, from Harwich, a fellow witness to the feat, explained why caravan racing is so popular.

"You can do a lot more damage to a caravan than a car and in much less time. It is great fun, and the crowd go mad for it. Let's be honest, it clears a lot of caravans off the road, which can only be a good thing. Not only is caravan racing very dramatic and exciting, but people cheer all the louder because it satisfies their own vendettas against caravans."

In many ways, caravan racing is the antithesis of F1. While the pinnacle of motorsport takes itself very seriously, this parochial version is very much for laughs. And while there is a certain thrill in seeing a multi-million dirham technological marvel whizz past at 300kph, it doesn't compare to caravans capitulating at 30kph.

"It's all very well watching motorsport on telly, but as someone who loves driving you want to get involved," says banger racing driver James Tate, 20, from Portsmouth. "At these race meetings you just turn up, pay a licence fee for the day and get driving - anyone can get involved. All you need is the room to build the car and the time to repair it. The costs are very low."

On driving in the races, he adds: "There isn't much skill involved, to be honest; it is pot luck. You find that a driver who keeps out of harm's way will probably win the race, but that isn't really in the spirit of it.

"As a driver you feel a nudge at your back and turn round to see your caravan isn't there anymore, but you keep your foot to the floor regardless."

As I left the raceway, I wondered where all the caravans came from; with a life expectancy of four minutes, there must surely be an endless supply of conscripts. Then, on an adjacent paddock, I saw row upon row of them waiting, like lambs to the slaughter. They are, apparently, donated to the track by breaker yards seeking to avoid the cost of recycling the plastics and woods they contain. Better to die a glorious death, I thought, than rot away in the corner of a field. Formula One cars race and then retire, whereas caravans retire and then race. He who laughs last, laughs loudest.

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The biog

Fatima Al Darmaki is an Emirati widow with three children

She has received 46 certificates of appreciation and excellence throughout her career

She won the 'ideal mother' category at the Minister of Interior Awards for Excellence

Her favourite food is Harees, a slow-cooked porridge-like dish made from boiled wheat berries mixed with chicken

How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

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Results:

5pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 2,200m | Winner: AF Al Montaqem, Bernardo Pinheiro (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer)

5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 1,200m | Winner: Daber W’Rsan, Connor Beasley, Jaci Wickham

6pm: Handicap (PA) Dh85,000 1,600m | Winner: Bainoona, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel

6.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 1,600m | Winner: AF Makerah, Antonio Fresu, Ernst Oertel

7pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 | Winner: AF Motaghatres, Antonio Fresu, Ernst Oertel

7.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh90,000 1,600m | Winner: Tafakhor, Ronan Whelan, Ali Rashid Al Raihe

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MATCH INFO

Arsenal 1 (Aubameyang 12’) Liverpool 1 (Minamino 73’)

Arsenal win 5-4 on penalties

Man of the Match: Ainsley Maitland-Niles (Arsenal)

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Closing the loophole on sugary drinks

As The National reported last year, non-fizzy sugared drinks were not covered when the original tax was introduced in 2017. Sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, 20 grams of sugar per 500ml bottle.

The non-fizzy drink AriZona Iced Tea contains 65 grams of sugar – about 16 teaspoons – per 680ml can. The average can costs about Dh6, which would rise to Dh9.

Drinks such as Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccino contain 31g of sugar in 270ml, while Nescafe Mocha in a can contains 15.6g of sugar in a 240ml can.

Flavoured water, long-life fruit juice concentrates, pre-packaged sweetened coffee drinks fall under the ‘sweetened drink’ category
 

Not taxed:

Freshly squeezed fruit juices, ground coffee beans, tea leaves and pre-prepared flavoured milkshakes do not come under the ‘sweetened drink’ band.

Rashid & Rajab

Director: Mohammed Saeed Harib

Stars: Shadi Alfons,  Marwan Abdullah, Doaa Mostafa Ragab 

Two stars out of five 

The specs: 2018 Range Rover Velar R-Dynamic HSE

Price, base / as tested: Dh263,235 / Dh420,000

Engine: 3.0-litre supercharged V6

Power 375hp @ 6,500rpm

Torque: 450Nm @ 3,500rpm

Transmission: Eight-speed automatic

Fuel consumption, combined: 9.4L / 100kms

Scoreline

Australia 2-1 Thailand

Australia: Juric 69', Leckie 86'
Thailand: Pokklaw 82'

The Buckingham Murders

Starring: Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ash Tandon, Prabhleen Sandhu

Director: Hansal Mehta

Rating: 4 / 5

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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE

Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega

Director: Tim Burton

Rating: 3/5

Our legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets

Breaking News: The Remaking of Journalism and Why It Matters Now
Alan Rushbridger, Canongate

The specs

Engine: 1.4-litre 4-cylinder turbo

Power: 180hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 250Nm at 3,00rpm

Transmission: 5-speed sequential auto

Price: From Dh139,995

On sale: now

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