<i>The National</i>'s Ben East has a writing style that is quite similar to that of the novelist Charles Dickens according to the I Write Like website.
<i>The National</i>'s Ben East has a writing style that is quite similar to that of the novelist Charles Dickens according to the I Write Like website.

IWriteLike.com: the internet ego boost for aspiring scribes



Everyone thinks they have a novel in them. Most people don't. They have an excruciating set of semi-autobiographical musings which, thankfully, will never see the light of day. For the would-be authors among us, though, there is encouragement in a website that has taken the internet by storm. Copy in the first few paragraphs of your opus and I Write Like (www.iwritelike.com) will carefully analyse your prose and tell you which published author it most resembles. Thus, it was an epochal moment to learn the first two paragraphs of my story on Tom Jones's new album, published in The National last week, were akin to the iconic literature of Charles Dickens. It's now a fact: I write in the style of one of English writing's greatest figures. Of course I do.

There are hours of fun to be had here, simply because any form of writing can be compared by the I Write Like website. A particularly lengthy e-mail I sent to the Liverpool Arabic Arts Festival was apparently reminiscent of the celebrated postmodern writer of Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace. I was only asking for a press release. Of course, it's not long before you end up doubting the veracity of the site and pasting in excerpts from the classics to see if I Write Like's algorithms can actually pick them out. My first attempt at this was genuinely impressive. I pasted in the classic opening paragraphs from 1984, with its indelible opening line "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." And sure enough, the answer came back George Orwell. Impressive stuff - although the last sentence, with its momentous warning "Big Brother is watching you" surely gave I Write Like a huge helping hand. And admittedly, the harder you test the site, the more varied (and hilarious) the results. The winner of the Booker Prize last year was Hilary Mantel, for one of the most cleanly written and enjoyable historical novels in years. But paste an excerpt of Wolf Hall into the engine, and it's attributed to one of the most baffling and convoluted authors of all time, James Joyce. Vladimir Nabokov's final book The Original Of Laura was one of the publishing sensations of last year, despite the fact that he'd been dead 32 years and it was incomplete. No wonder the author of Lolita had left instructions for The Original Of Laura to be destroyed, though: it reads, according to I Write Like, remarkably similarly to the clunking prose of Dan Brown.

So yes, there are huge limitations - most succinctly observed in a tweet from possibly the most famous film critic in the world, Roger Ebert. "I Write Like thinks I write like Margaret Atwood, she writes like HP Lovecraft and he writes like James Joyce," he said. Margaret Atwood herself heard of this, pasted in some of her own work, and found she resembled Stephen King. As she tweeted, "who knew?", the literary set tried desperately to find a link between her brilliantly complex Booker Prize-winning novel The Blind Assassin and King's seminal horror tale Pet Sematary.

So, in the end, it's best to take any results with a huge pinch of salt. Essentially, I Write Like is a work-in-progress online game by a 27-year-old software developer, Dmitry Chestnykh, whose first language isn't even English. His website admits there were originally only 50 authors in the database, including some from the bestsellers list on Wikipedia and the most downloaded books from the out-of-copyright library The Gutenburg Project. And an interview posted on the I Write Like site admits that he'd spent only three days writing the program, which essentially works like a spam filter. As Chestnykh said himself: "I feed it with Frankenstein and tell it, 'This is Mary Shelley. Recognise works similar to this as Mary Shelley'." Viral internet crazes are usually simple ideas such as these, but he couldn't possibly have known he would rack up one million unique users in a matter of weeks and suddenly find himself under worldwide scrutiny. But perhaps I Write Like does have a benefit. Despite Chestnykh admitting himself that he didn't think there was "a big point" in the idea before launching it, the amount of comments he's since received saying that users would now read books by the authors they've discovered they "write like" has genuinely amazed him.

Cheering stuff, which is why I'm off to read Little Brother by the impossibly cool science fiction writer Cory Doctorow. Apparently the first paragraph of this very story could have been written by him.

The specs: 2018 Renault Koleos

Price, base: From Dh77,900
Engine: 2.5L, in-line four-cylinder
Transmission: Continuously variable transmission
Power: 170hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 233Nm @ 4,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 8.3L / 100km

The%20Genius%20of%20Their%20Age
%3Cp%3EAuthor%3A%20S%20Frederick%20Starr%3Cbr%3EPublisher%3A%20Oxford%20University%20Press%3Cbr%3EPages%3A%20290%3Cbr%3EAvailable%3A%20January%2024%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Cryopreservation: A timeline
  1. Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
  2. Ovarian tissue surgically removed
  3. Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
  4. Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
  5. Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months
Emergency

Director: Kangana Ranaut

Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry 

Rating: 2/5

Biog

Mr Kandhari is legally authorised to conduct marriages in the gurdwara

He has officiated weddings of Sikhs and people of different faiths from Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Russia, the US and Canada

Father of two sons, grandfather of six

Plays golf once a week

Enjoys trying new holiday destinations with his wife and family

Walks for an hour every morning

Completed a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Loyola College, Chennai, India

2019 is a milestone because he completes 50 years in business

 

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
 
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Landfill in numbers

• Landfill gas is composed of 50 per cent methane

• Methane is 28 times more harmful than Co2 in terms of global warming

• 11 million total tonnes of waste are being generated annually in Abu Dhabi

• 18,000 tonnes per year of hazardous and medical waste is produced in Abu Dhabi emirate per year

• 20,000 litres of cooking oil produced in Abu Dhabi’s cafeterias and restaurants every day is thrown away

• 50 per cent of Abu Dhabi’s waste is from construction and demolition

Teachers' pay - what you need to know

Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:

- top end schools tend to pay Dh16,000-17,000 a month - plus a monthly housing allowance of up to Dh6,000. These tend to be British curriculum schools rated 'outstanding' or 'very good', followed by American schools

- average salary across curriculums and skill levels is about Dh10,000, recruiters say

- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance

- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs

- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills

- at the other end of the market, teachers in some Indian schools, where fees are lower and competition among applicants is intense, can be paid as low as Dh3,000 per month

- in Indian schools, it has also become common for teachers to share residential accommodation, living in a block with colleagues

COMPANY PROFILE

Name: Grubtech

Founders: Mohamed Al Fayed and Mohammed Hammedi

Launched: October 2019

Employees: 50

Financing stage: Seed round (raised $2 million)

 

Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
  • Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
  • Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
  • Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
 
 
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

The specs: 2019 Mercedes-Benz C200 Coupe


Price, base: Dh201,153
Engine: 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Nine-speed automatic
Power: 204hp @ 5,800rpm
Torque: 300Nm @ 1,600rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 6.7L / 100km

Bharat

Director: Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring: Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Sunil Grover

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
RESULTS

Lightweight (female)
Sara El Bakkali bt Anisha Kadka
Bantamweight
Mohammed Adil Al Debi bt Moaz Abdelgawad
Welterweight
Amir Boureslan bt Mahmoud Zanouny
Featherweight
Mohammed Al Katheeri bt Abrorbek Madaminbekov
Super featherweight
Ibrahem Bilal bt Emad Arafa
Middleweight
Ahmed Abdolaziz bt Imad Essassi
Bantamweight (female)
Ilham Bourakkadi bt Milena Martinou
Welterweight
Mohamed Mardi bt Noureddine El Agouti
Middleweight
Nabil Ouach bt Ymad Atrous
Welterweight
Nouredine Samir bt Marlon Ribeiro
Super welterweight
Brad Stanton bt Mohamed El Boukhari

UAE SQUAD

Mohammed Naveed (captain), Mohamed Usman (vice captain), Ashfaq Ahmed, Chirag Suri, Shaiman Anwar, Mohammed Boota, Ghulam Shabber, Imran Haider, Tahir Mughal, Amir Hayat, Zahoor Khan, Qadeer Ahmed, Fahad Nawaz, Abdul Shakoor, Sultan Ahmed, CP Rizwan

The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Power: 510hp at 9,000rpm
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Price: From Dh801,800
Other workplace saving schemes
  • The UAE government announced a retirement savings plan for private and free zone sector employees in 2023.
  • Dubai’s savings retirement scheme for foreign employees working in the emirate’s government and public sector came into effect in 2022.
  • National Bonds unveiled a Golden Pension Scheme in 2022 to help private-sector foreign employees with their financial planning.
  • In April 2021, Hayah Insurance unveiled a workplace savings plan to help UAE employees save for their retirement.
  • Lunate, an Abu Dhabi-based investment manager, has launched a fund that will allow UAE private companies to offer employees investment returns on end-of-service benefits.
How to avoid crypto fraud
  • Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
  • Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
  • Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
  • Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
  • Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
  • Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
  • Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Vidaamuyarchi

Director: Magizh Thirumeni

Stars: Ajith Kumar, Arjun Sarja, Trisha Krishnan, Regina Cassandra

Rating: 4/5