Sasha had been consumed by Abby's recovery and felt that she'd neglected her family. Her efforts to be there for her best friend had taken quality time away from everything else that mattered in her life. But Abby was getting better, and Sasha was slowly finding a balance between baby Oscar, husband Frank and her growing clients in her Closet Confidential business. This realisation made her feel proud.
Privately, she hoped that Abby was over this sorry state of mind. When they were both single, Abby was number one in Sasha's life. She had all the time in the world for her and found it easy to be a good friend. But now she was a wife, mother and a friend, and she was finding it much harder to be good at all three.
Sasha was at home in her bedroom, folding the washing, talking with Frank. Frank was moving forward with his plans for a new book on financial intimacy and was excited.
Love and money
"What do you mean exactly when you say 'financial intimacy'?" Sasha asked.
"Well, it's basically the ability to talk about money with your husband, wife or partner," said Frank.
"And don't you do that every day of your life, with me and your clients?" Sasha asked, smiling.
"Of course. The intersection of love and money is inevitable, and by giving couples the tools to talk about it, it will hopefully make their relationship stronger," he said.
Frank had a good point, thought Sasha. Even Abby, her best friend and formidable financial lawyer, was searing hot when it came to making money, but disappointingly tepid when it came to love. She never mixed the two and, as a result, she was struggling to take love to the next level.
The power of money
Why is it so important for couples to communicate with each other about money? Money is the energy behind what we do to power our life. If we want to start something, it costs money.
Many people use money as a source of power and control, especially in relationships.
Some people develop walls around them and don't let anyone in because they simply don't know how to deal with money in their relationships.
Others don't know how to live without being in debt. Debt becomes an addiction and a way of controlling partners in their life.
The idea has legs
"Frank, I think this is brilliant. I think this book has legs."
Frank looked up and gave his wife a grin. "But seriously," she continued, "I don't think this book will be for just couples. I think it has a lot of value for the single superwoman too," she said.
"Really? How's that?"
"Well, I know a lot of women who don't get into a relationship in the first place because they just don't know how to let a man in, take that next step and share their financial lives," said Sasha. "These days, women are much more financially independent, so they often prefer to stay single. In fact, we both know one single gal who would fall into this category."
"Mmmm, maybe you're right," said Frank, also thinking of Abby. "So you think many women simply get stuck taking that next step?"
"Yes, I think some women - a lot of women in fact - don't know how to talk about money. It's like a taboo. And if they're wealthy and can't talk money, that puts the kibosh on any relationship."
Frank got it. He knew Abby, and he knew that Sasha was worried about her.
Don't be afraid to talk money.
More top tips
* When approaching money discussions with your partner, ease into the conversation by talking about a friend's situation (or a hypothetical dilemma) and then get your partner's opinion on it. This opens up the opportunity for their point of view in a less threatening discussion.
* With this background information, you're able to talk more openly about money. You can expand the discussion with "What if that happened to us?" etc.
* If you disagree with your partner in some areas, don't worry. Focus on what you do agree on.
* But use the insight you get from discussing money matters. The subject of money is highly emotive and can reveal potential problems that may arise in your relationship in the future.
After you've discussed the above together, you'll be able to devise a life plan.
Janelle Malone is a writer, blogger and commentator on personal finance. You can contact her at www.womenmoneyandstyle.com.
