Gail Clough is co-founder of the UAE comedy club The Laughter Factory. Born in Manchester in the United Kingdom, she worked on cruise ships before moving to Dubai 25 years ago to work as a DJ. Ms Clough, who is 52, lives on Sheikh Zayed Road in Dubai.
How did your upbringing shape your attitude towards money?
My mum was an Irish immigrant who went to England when she was 17. She was a cleaner and dad was a bus conductor. It was tough, economically. We lived in one of the poorest parts of Manchester. I never bought a new item of clothing until I started work, hence a love and appreciation of clothes, shoes and handbags since. I grew up mainly in the ‘70s and was brought up on jumble sales, second hand clothes.
How much were you paid in your first job?
A Saturday job on the pie counter at John Lewis; I was paid Dh30 a day. It was the wealthiest I’d ever felt. When you’ve gone from Dh3 pocket money - it’s not often you make such an exponential leap, financially. The first thing I bought was leather pants, then a white leather mini and stilettos. We were into the early ‘80s by then, when I discovered nightclubs, and danced all night. I had a whole new lifestyle and started DJing at 17.
What brought you to Dubai?
When I was 21 I went travelling around the world, by myself. I did seven years and ended up living very happily in Cairo, DJing at night. Then there was disruption in the country and the company I was working with said ‘we don’t think you’re safe here’. In 1993 I came to Dubai and started in the nightclub at the InterContinental, on the Creek, now the Radisson. I also got a job in Music Master; these were CD shops in BurJuman and Al Ghurair Centre. I realised there was big money DJing weddings and corporate gigs; Dh5,000 a night then. You’re lucky to earn Dh500 now. I built my client base until I’d got half a dozen gigs a month. My salary in the shop was Dh5,000 and I used to rent a two-bedroom flat for Dh18,000 and let the other room out. It was just the money that kept me here in the beginning.
Why did you start The Laughter Factory?
We didn’t really start it for business reasons. We were bored. There were duos with mullets singing ‘Hotel California’ and ‘Black Velvet’ on a loop; that was your entertainment. You might get Tom Jones or Bryan Adams every two or three years. I started Laughter Factory in June 1997 with my business partner, who was a drummer. I’d worked for a promoter in the ‘80s who had a comedy club who initially supplied us with comics.
Are you a saver or a spender?
I would love to be a saver; I used to be, but I haven’t saved for four years. I don’t earn enough to save.
So are you wise with money?
I’m moving out of my flat, downsizing, and I sold my car. I cut back my lifestyle. I won’t do debt. I know what it was like to be poor. It terrifies me. I know what I’ve got coming in and what I’ve got going out.
What is your biggest luxury?
My Botox habit; every four months, for 20 years. I’ve had everything done, except my chest. I’m one procedure away from turning into a washing up bowl. It’s probably Dh500,000 worth. I also ran a plastic surgery company for 10 years so wasn’t paying for most of it. People used to come from England to get work done; the exchange rate made it cheap.
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Was it a challenge building a comedy business?
Promoting those shows was easy; you could tell a couple of people and others would know about it in five minutes. We packed 500 people into the Hyatt Regency the first night. It was a British club for British people. Now 80 per cent of our crowd is non-British; five years ago you’d have had blank faces and dead spots as you need to get the context of the joke, but people watch so much comedy online. We have one of very few totally global comedy clubs in the world.
Is it a tough business in which to earn a living?
The business model was kind of flawed in that it was set up in a ‘hardship posting’ full of people earning lots of money, with nothing to do. Now you have every celebrity chef, beach parties … you have more things vying for people’s earnings. We used to have to ‘bribe’ comics (with inflated fees), but nobody wants to take a pay cut - and we’ve got to maintain the standard of comics. That’s the most important thing. The environment around us has changed and the club doesn’t make that much profit, but it’s like a child to me. What’s been good for us is we have proper comedy fans; they could be sitting in a restaurant, but come to the club because they ‘get it’. In the UK most people go to comedy clubs on average twice a year. From our data, they come to us five times a year. There are probably six clubs as old as ours, globally.
What is your best investment?
I bought a two-bedroom flat in the centre of Manchester two years ago. It’s my security, but (the rental income) only pays half my rent here.
What are you happiest spending money on?
I like to travel. I’m not a business class, five star hotel person; I just like to see different places. My indulgence was to hit the mall, buy shoes and handbags. I won’t do that if I don’t have it to spend. I have enough ‘stuff’ now.
Do you prefer paying in cash or by credit card?
Cash. The comedians all get cash on the night. I’ve credit cards I use occasionally. I’ve never paid interest – I pay them off straight away.
Do you plan for the future?
We’re doing pop up shows in communities. We’ve a lot scheduled over the summer and I think that will grow the business. That could get me back in the handbag shop. Summer is the best time for us because our competition is outdoor concerts and beach parties. We have a tour every month. It’s more efficient that way and that’s how we get amazing comics. We’ve adapted with the market. People are always going to want to laugh; it’s just how it’s packaged. It’s my job to navigate that, to find different formats that people want.
I work a lot with The Comedy Store (in London) and the owner is 86, still running his own club - when I grow up that’s who I want to be. I don’t believe in retirement. When you have a room full of people laughing … there’s nothing better.
If you won Dh1m what would you do with it?
I’m happy with my life, so I’d probably put it in the bank and save most of it. And I wouldn’t tell anybody.
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How to get there
Emirates (www.emirates.com) flies directly to Hanoi, Vietnam, with fares starting from around Dh2,725 return, while Etihad (www.etihad.com) fares cost about Dh2,213 return with a stop. Chuong is 25 kilometres south of Hanoi.
What is the FNC?
The Federal National Council is one of five federal authorities established by the UAE constitution. It held its first session on December 2, 1972, a year to the day after Federation.
It has 40 members, eight of whom are women. The members represent the UAE population through each of the emirates. Abu Dhabi and Dubai have eight members each, Sharjah and Ras al Khaimah six, and Ajman, Fujairah and Umm Al Quwain have four.
They bring Emirati issues to the council for debate and put those concerns to ministers summoned for questioning.
The FNC’s main functions include passing, amending or rejecting federal draft laws, discussing international treaties and agreements, and offering recommendations on general subjects raised during sessions.
Federal draft laws must first pass through the FNC for recommendations when members can amend the laws to suit the needs of citizens. The draft laws are then forwarded to the Cabinet for consideration and approval.
Since 2006, half of the members have been elected by UAE citizens to serve four-year terms and the other half are appointed by the Ruler’s Courts of the seven emirates.
In the 2015 elections, 78 of the 252 candidates were women. Women also represented 48 per cent of all voters and 67 per cent of the voters were under the age of 40.
Thor: Ragnarok
Dir: Taika Waititi
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum, Mark Ruffalo, Tessa Thompson
Four stars
Tamkeen's offering
- Option 1: 70% in year 1, 50% in year 2, 30% in year 3
- Option 2: 50% across three years
- Option 3: 30% across five years
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The President's Cake
Director: Hasan Hadi
Starring: Baneen Ahmad Nayyef, Waheed Thabet Khreibat, Sajad Mohamad Qasem
Rating: 4/5
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 201hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 320Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm
Transmission: 6-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 8.7L/100km
Price: Dh133,900
On sale: now
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
Coffee: black death or elixir of life?
It is among the greatest health debates of our time; splashed across newspapers with contradicting headlines - is coffee good for you or not?
Depending on what you read, it is either a cancer-causing, sleep-depriving, stomach ulcer-inducing black death or the secret to long life, cutting the chance of stroke, diabetes and cancer.
The latest research - a study of 8,412 people across the UK who each underwent an MRI heart scan - is intended to put to bed (caffeine allowing) conflicting reports of the pros and cons of consumption.
The study, funded by the British Heart Foundation, contradicted previous findings that it stiffens arteries, putting pressure on the heart and increasing the likelihood of a heart attack or stroke, leading to warnings to cut down.
Numerous studies have recognised the benefits of coffee in cutting oral and esophageal cancer, the risk of a stroke and cirrhosis of the liver.
The benefits are often linked to biologically active compounds including caffeine, flavonoids, lignans, and other polyphenols, which benefit the body. These and othetr coffee compounds regulate genes involved in DNA repair, have anti-inflammatory properties and are associated with lower risk of insulin resistance, which is linked to type-2 diabetes.
But as doctors warn, too much of anything is inadvisable. The British Heart Foundation found the heaviest coffee drinkers in the study were most likely to be men who smoked and drank alcohol regularly.
Excessive amounts of coffee also unsettle the stomach causing or contributing to stomach ulcers. It also stains the teeth over time, hampers absorption of minerals and vitamins like zinc and iron.
It also raises blood pressure, which is largely problematic for people with existing conditions.
So the heaviest drinkers of the black stuff - some in the study had up to 25 cups per day - may want to rein it in.
Rory Reynolds
Result
UAE (S. Tagliabue 90 1') 1-2 Uzbekistan (Shokhruz Norkhonov 48', 86')
Global state-owned investor ranking by size
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SPECS
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What is blockchain?
Blockchain is a form of distributed ledger technology, a digital system in which data is recorded across multiple places at the same time. Unlike traditional databases, DLTs have no central administrator or centralised data storage. They are transparent because the data is visible and, because they are automatically replicated and impossible to be tampered with, they are secure.
The main difference between blockchain and other forms of DLT is the way data is stored as ‘blocks’ – new transactions are added to the existing ‘chain’ of past transactions, hence the name ‘blockchain’. It is impossible to delete or modify information on the chain due to the replication of blocks across various locations.
Blockchain is mostly associated with cryptocurrency Bitcoin. Due to the inability to tamper with transactions, advocates say this makes the currency more secure and safer than traditional systems. It is maintained by a network of people referred to as ‘miners’, who receive rewards for solving complex mathematical equations that enable transactions to go through.
However, one of the major problems that has come to light has been the presence of illicit material buried in the Bitcoin blockchain, linking it to the dark web.
Other blockchain platforms can offer things like smart contracts, which are automatically implemented when specific conditions from all interested parties are reached, cutting the time involved and the risk of mistakes. Another use could be storing medical records, as patients can be confident their information cannot be changed. The technology can also be used in supply chains, voting and has the potential to used for storing property records.
The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
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Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
David Haye record
Total fights: 32
Wins: 28
Wins by KO: 26
Losses: 4
The view from The National
The specs
Engine: 5.2-litre V10
Power: 640hp at 8,000rpm
Torque: 565Nm at 6,500rpm
Transmission: 7-speed dual-clutch auto
Price: From Dh1 million
On sale: Q3 or Q4 2022
The specs: 2018 Dodge Durango SRT
Price, base / as tested: Dh259,000
Engine: 6.4-litre V8
Power: 475hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 640Nm @ 4,300rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 7.7L / 100km
The specs: 2019 GMC Yukon Denali
Price, base: Dh306,500
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Power: 420hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 621Nm @ 4,100rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.9L / 100km
SPECS
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The specs: 2018 Peugeot 5008
Price, base / as tested: Dh99,900 / Dh134,900
Engine: 1.6-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power: 165hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 240Nm @ 1,400rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.8L / 100km