I never wanted to leave London in the first place.
If it wasn't for my Norwegian girlfriend, who detested the capital, I'd still be living there now. I never wanted to sell our three-bedroom terraced house, either. But I did, and it turned out to be my worst financial mistake thus far.
Indeed, it cost me £200,000.
Ingrid, my partner, moved from Oslo to live with me in Lewisham, south-east London, in 1999. But she failed to land a job she liked, and couldn't get accustomed to the crowds and the noise.
But she fell in love with the English countryside, and spent the next few years agitating for a move.
"It's so romantic, we'd be really happy there," she said.
As a freelance journalist working from home, moving to the countryside was feasible. I often boasted that I could work anywhere with a broadband connection, and that boast came back to haunt me.
As Ingrid regularly reminded me, I also liked the countryside, and it's true. I love Sunday lunch in a country pub, or roaming the Kentish apple orchards at harvest time or high-tailing it to a pretty coastal village. I was even happy swimming in the North Sea. The countryside, it turns out, is great for the occasional weekend, but living there is a different thing entirely.
Still, Ingrid wore me down, and in November 2003 we put our property on the market for £320,000 (Dh1,913,176 million), which seemed like a ridiculous sum at the time. As a financial journalist, I kidded myself that I knew what I was doing.
"Prices can't keep rising forever, the bubble has to burst," I told myself. "We can rent for a year, and when the crash comes, pick up a bargain property as a cash buyer."
I quietly assured myself that a year of country living would puncture Ingrid's rural idyll, and she would be begging to come back to filthy old London. We sold the house in two days, to the second couple who walked through the door. That worried me a little, but not too much. The economy was looking shaky, and I was expecting a major downturn. Unfortunately, the Bank of England responded by slashing interest rates, and London house prices instead went crazy, rising at a stupifying rate.
I spent the next two years paying rent in bucolic coastal Suffolk and watching my cunning scheme fall to pieces. House prices kept rising, we kept shelling out rent. Ingrid's dream of running a bed and breakfast drifted further out of reach, as we could barely afford a place big enough for ourselves and our young daughter, Molly, let alone with another four bedrooms for guests.
One day I received an e-mail from a former neighbour linking to the website of a local estate agent. Our property was on the market again, for £575,000. That was more than £255,000 we had sold it for.
I gained some comfort from the fact that the buyers had spent a bit of money on the property, installing new windows and converting the loft into a fourth bedroom. That must have cost them around £50,000. But however I massaged the figures, I was still down to the tune of £200,000. We could never return to London, unless we wanted to move into an inferior property in a dodgy area.
Even the credit crunch didn't save me. I hoped that would slash 30 per cent or 40 per cent off London properties, belatedly justifying my decision to sell. But after a slight dip they stabilised, and have risen steadily this year. When I now search on London property websites, I see run-down houses on busy arterial routes in the same area for prices I now can't afford.
I've learned that you should never try to time the market, whether it be housing or share prices. Nobody knows what is going to happen next, as there are simply too many economic variables, and the experts get it wrong as often as the amateurs. A little knowledge, as the saying goes, is a dangerous thing.
Hopping voluntarily out of a housing market hotspot such as London is also a foolhardy strategy. You might get lucky, but you have to set this against the greater danger of prices soaring far beyond your pocket, forcing you back to the bottom of the property ladder.
That is what happened to me. It is much safer to take the ups and downs of the market with everybody else. We never did buy that bed and breakfast, or return to London. Three years ago we bought an apartment in Oslo, where prices were a bit more affordable (this was in the days when sterling was still worth something).
We recouped some of our losses by doing up the apartment, then lost it all again after Ingrid spotted a pretty white wooden house right on the fjord and uttered those dreaded words: "It's so romantic."
It was so romantic that we bought it without first checking the basement for signs of damp, rotten and crumbling beams, drainage problems and rat colonies. And that's the final lesson I've learned. If you want to survive big property decisions, keep romance out of it.
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
The bio
Favourite book: Peter Rabbit. I used to read it to my three children and still read it myself. If I am feeling down it brings back good memories.
Best thing about your job: Getting to help people. My mum always told me never to pass up an opportunity to do a good deed.
Best part of life in the UAE: The weather. The constant sunshine is amazing and there is always something to do, you have so many options when it comes to how to spend your day.
Favourite holiday destination: Malaysia. I went there for my honeymoon and ended up volunteering to teach local children for a few hours each day. It is such a special place and I plan to retire there one day.
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
German intelligence warnings
- 2002: "Hezbollah supporters feared becoming a target of security services because of the effects of [9/11] ... discussions on Hezbollah policy moved from mosques into smaller circles in private homes." Supporters in Germany: 800
- 2013: "Financial and logistical support from Germany for Hezbollah in Lebanon supports the armed struggle against Israel ... Hezbollah supporters in Germany hold back from actions that would gain publicity." Supporters in Germany: 950
- 2023: "It must be reckoned with that Hezbollah will continue to plan terrorist actions outside the Middle East against Israel or Israeli interests." Supporters in Germany: 1,250
Source: Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Match info
Deccan Gladiators 87-8
Asif Khan 25, Dwayne Bravo 2-16
Maratha Arabians 89-2
Chadwick Walton 51 not out
Arabians won the final by eight wickets
What are the GCSE grade equivalents?
- Grade 9 = above an A*
- Grade 8 = between grades A* and A
- Grade 7 = grade A
- Grade 6 = just above a grade B
- Grade 5 = between grades B and C
- Grade 4 = grade C
- Grade 3 = between grades D and E
- Grade 2 = between grades E and F
- Grade 1 = between grades F and G
CHINESE GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID
1st row
Sebastian Vettel (Ferrari)
Kimi Raikkonen (Ferrari)
2nd row
Valtteri Bottas (Mercedes-GP)
Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
3rd row
Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing)
Daniel Ricciardo (Red Bull Racing)
4th row
Nico Hulkenberg (Renault)
Sergio Perez (Force India)
5th row
Carlos Sainz Jr (Renault)
Romain Grosjean (Haas)
6th row
Kevin Magnussen (Haas)
Esteban Ocon (Force India)
7th row
Fernando Alonso (McLaren)
Stoffel Vandoorne (McLaren)
8th row
Brendon Hartley (Toro Rosso)
Sergey Sirotkin (Williams)
9th row
Pierre Gasly (Toro Rosso)
Lance Stroll (Williams)
10th row
Charles Leclerc (Sauber)
arcus Ericsson (Sauber)
Fighting with My Family
Director: Stephen Merchant
Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Nick Frost, Lena Headey, Florence Pugh, Thomas Whilley, Tori Ellen Ross, Jack Lowden, Olivia Bernstone, Elroy Powell
Four stars
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Ahmed Raza
UAE cricket captain
Age: 31
Born: Sharjah
Role: Left-arm spinner
One-day internationals: 31 matches, 35 wickets, average 31.4, economy rate 3.95
T20 internationals: 41 matches, 29 wickets, average 30.3, economy rate 6.28
Hidden killer
Sepsis arises when the body tries to fight an infection but damages its own tissue and organs in the process.
The World Health Organisation estimates it affects about 30 million people each year and that about six million die.
Of those about three million are newborns and 1.2 are young children.
Patients with septic shock must often have limbs amputated if clots in their limbs prevent blood flow, causing the limbs to die.
Campaigners say the condition is often diagnosed far too late by medical professionals and that many patients wait too long to seek treatment, confusing the symptoms with flu.
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5