It is coming up to that time of year when the world's technology manufacturers launch their latest, fastest, shiniest, life-changing, new products.
You would think with such promise and hyperbole, the gadgets would sell themselves. The merest glimpse of the charger socket should surely be enough to shift thousands of units. But it seems these gadgets are incapable of selling themselves. They need a PYT.
You know the sort I'm talking about. The Pretty Young Thing stands there in front of the gadget looking glamorous with her deceptively flawless skin - a patina made from layers of thick make-up that could only have been applied with a trowel.
Sometimes they dance about in revealing clothes. Sometimes they sit behind a desk or wear thick-rimmed glasses to give an impression of studiousness.
Whatever the shtick, they are just eye candy, there to greet customers with a smile and add sex appeal to the sale.
And it works. Well, it half works - they attract the men mostly.
"Technology can be very boring and for these guys this is as exciting as it gets," said one events manager at a recent launch for a new camera.
I disagree. Gadgets are sexy enough and do not need a manicured hand to sell them.
Steve Jobs did not need attractive girls to sell billions of iPhones, iPads and iWhatevers. I mean, the man wore turtlenecks.
The truth is, a great product will sell itself.
Fine, if it's an energy-saving, network switching subsystem for the telecoms industry that you're launching, bring a whole host of PYTs and parade them around the room if you want. This is the sort of product that needs a dose of sex appeal to sell.
But a laptop? A phone? A tablet computer? Please, put it away and preserve some modesty.
These women create an ambience equivalent to the cheesy 1970s car showroom with a bikini-clad blonde draped across a bonnet. So, what was the size of the engine? How quickly did it get to 60 miles per hour? You'll never know. You were too busy watching her slide off the car.
Some may argue that these ladies attract attention, that people will go over to talk to them and with great PR skills the girl will sell the product. As a habitué of too many tech launches to count, let me tell you otherwise.
Ask a PYT what other colours are available in the range, and she'll probably answer. Ask her what type of screen the device sports and you will invariably be met with an embarrassed smile as you are told to wait until she checks. And forget asking her about what Amoled stands for. (It is Active Matrix Organic Light Emitting Diode, in case you were wondering. And no, I did not Google it, thank you very much).
Everyone has the right to choose their way in life, and if baring your legs in public and becoming as objectified as the product you are parading around pays your bills and makes you happy, then all the best. But there is something completely unnecessary to PYTs at consumer tech shows.
The notion that "sex sells" is regrettable anywhere in the world, but perhaps more so in the UAE. Rarely do you come across such a contrast. Muslim women in modest black abayas sit opposite a European blonde in a short skirt. It is an uncomfortable situation for everyone; and it seems utterly short-sighted and small-minded of organisers to deem it acceptable.
The devices that tech firms sell are sophisticated. The consumers they sell them too are even more so. It's time the marketing matched the product and the buyer.
[ thamid@thenational.ae ]
MEDIEVIL (1998)
Developer: SCE Studio Cambridge
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Console: PlayStation, PlayStation 4 and 5
Rating: 3.5/5
UAE medallists at Asian Games 2023
Gold
Magomedomar Magomedomarov – Judo – Men’s +100kg
Khaled Al Shehi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -62kg
Faisal Al Ketbi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -85kg
Asma Al Hosani – Jiu-jitsu – Women’s -52kg
Shamma Al Kalbani – Jiu-jitsu – Women’s -63kg
Silver
Omar Al Marzooqi – Equestrian – Individual showjumping
Bishrelt Khorloodoi – Judo – Women’s -52kg
Khalid Al Blooshi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -62kg
Mohamed Al Suwaidi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -69kg
Balqees Abdulla – Jiu-jitsu – Women’s -48kg
Bronze
Hawraa Alajmi – Karate – Women’s kumite -50kg
Ahmed Al Mansoori – Cycling – Men’s omnium
Abdullah Al Marri – Equestrian – Individual showjumping
Team UAE – Equestrian – Team showjumping
Dzhafar Kostoev – Judo – Men’s -100kg
Narmandakh Bayanmunkh – Judo – Men’s -66kg
Grigorian Aram – Judo – Men’s -90kg
Mahdi Al Awlaqi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -77kg
Saeed Al Kubaisi – Jiu-jitsu – Men’s -85kg
Shamsa Al Ameri – Jiu-jitsu – Women’s -57kg
2021 World Triathlon Championship Series
May 15: Yokohama, Japan
June 5: Leeds, UK
June 24: Montreal, Canada
July 10: Hamburg, Germany
Aug 17-22: Edmonton, Canada (World Triathlon Championship Final)
Nov 5-6 : Abu Dhabi, UAE
Date TBC: Chengdu, China
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The specs: 2018 BMW R nineT Scrambler
Price, base / as tested Dh57,000
Engine 1,170cc air/oil-cooled flat twin four-stroke engine
Transmission Six-speed gearbox
Power 110hp) @ 7,750rpm
Torque 116Nm @ 6,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined 5.3L / 100km
The specs: Macan Turbo
Engine: Dual synchronous electric motors
Power: 639hp
Torque: 1,130Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Touring range: 591km
Price: From Dh412,500
On sale: Deliveries start in October
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
SPEC SHEET: SAMSUNG GALAXY Z FLIP5
Display: Main – 6.7" FHD+ Dynamic Amoled 2X, 2640 x 1080, 22:9, 425ppi, HDR10+, up to 120Hz; cover – 3/4" Super Amoled, 720 x 748, 306ppi
Processor: Qualcomm Snapdragon 8 Gen 2, 4nm, octa-core; Adreno 740 GPU
Memory: 8GB
Capacity: 256/512GB
Platform: Android 13, One UI 5.1.1
Main camera: Dual 12MP ultra-wide (f/2.2) + 12MP wide (f/1.8), OIS
Video: 4K@30/60fps, full-HD@60/240fps, HD@960fps
Front camera: 10MP (f/2.2)
Battery: 3700mAh, 25W fast charging, 15W wireless, 4.5W reverse wireless
Connectivity: 5G; Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 5.3, NFC (Samsung Pay)
I/O: USB-C
Cards: Nano-SIM + eSIM; no microSD slot
Colours: Cream, graphite, lavender, mint; Samsung.com exclusives – blue, grey, green, yellow
In the box: Flip 4, USB-C-to-USB-C cable
Price: Dh3,899 / Dh4,349
The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Power: 650hp at 6,750rpm
Torque: 800Nm from 2,500-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto
Fuel consumption: 11.12L/100km
Price: From Dh796,600
On sale: now
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Creator: Jim Mickle
Starring: Christian Convery, Nonso Anozie, Adeel Akhtar, Stefania LaVie Owen
Rating: 2.5/5
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Publisher: LucasArts
Console: PlayStation 1 & 5, Sega Saturn
Rating: 4/5
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SPECS
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QUARTER-FINAL
Wales 20-19 France
Wales: T: Wainwright, Moriarty. Cons: Biggar (2) Pens: Biggar 2
France: T: Vahaamahina, Ollivon, Vakatawa Cons: Ntamack (2)
THE BIO
Bio Box
Role Model: Sheikh Zayed, God bless his soul
Favorite book: Zayed Biography of the leader
Favorite quote: To be or not to be, that is the question, from William Shakespeare's Hamlet
Favorite food: seafood
Favorite place to travel: Lebanon
Favorite movie: Braveheart
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 0
Wolves 2 (Traore 80', 90+4')
Results
5.30pm: Maiden Dh165,000 (Turf) 1,600m; Winner: Al Battar, Mickael Barzalona (jockey), Salem bin Ghadayer (trainer).
6.05pm: Maiden Dh165,000 (Dirt) 1,200m; Winner: Good Fighter, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
6.40pm: Handicap Dh185,000 (T) 1,200m; Winner: Way Of Wisdom, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
7.15pm: Handicap Dh170,000 (D) 2,200m; Winner: Immortalised, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
7.50pm: Handicap Dh185,000 (T) 2,000m; Winner: Franz Kafka, James Doyle, Simon Crisford.
8.25pm: Handicap Dh185,000 (D) 1,200m; Winner: Mayadeen, Connor Beasley, Doug Watson.
9pm: Handicap Dh185,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Chiefdom, Mickael Barzalona, Salem bin Ghadayer
Company profile
Name: Tabby
Founded: August 2019; platform went live in February 2020
Founder/CEO: Hosam Arab, co-founder: Daniil Barkalov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Payments
Size: 40-50 employees
Stage: Series A
Investors: Arbor Ventures, Mubadala Capital, Wamda Capital, STV, Raed Ventures, Global Founders Capital, JIMCO, Global Ventures, Venture Souq, Outliers VC, MSA Capital, HOF and AB Accelerator.
Race card
6.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 82,500 (Dirt) 1.600m
7.05pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 82,500 (D) 2,000m
7.50pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 82,500 (D) 1,600m
8.15pm: The Garhoud Sprint Listed (TB) Dh 132,500 (D) 1,200m
8.50pm: The Entisar Listed (TB) Dh 132,500 (D) 2,000m
9.25pm: Conditions (TB) Dh 120,000 (D) 1,400m