(From left) Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin and Woody Harrelson play the usual friends who want a traditional family day out, even if it kills them.
(From left) Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin and Woody Harrelson play the usual friends who want a traditional family day out, even if it kills them.

Attack of the cliché



Zombieland is a one-joke movie that nonetheless travels admirably far - into the third act, in fact - on that single gag: namely, what would happen if you inserted a neurotic wallflower with intellectual ambitions (an archetype more at home in Woody Allen dramas) into the fulsome pell-mell carnage of a zombie cannibal film?

The answer, initially, is delivered with self-deprecating wit and the brash genre awareness was popularised by the Scream films. Thus we are first introduced to nervy anti-hero Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg from The Squid and the Whale), a compulsive list-maker travelling through a post-apocalyptic America that has been ravaged by a lethal zombie virus. Columbus (characters are named after their hometowns; real names are deemed too upsetting, reminiscent of the old ways) survives this eminently hostile terrain by filling a small notebook with 47 handy hints for surviving zombie attacks. Illustrated examples of his rules, shown in snappy, gory, interstitial bites, include "Number 8: avoid bathrooms" - cut to shot of zombie attacking seated man from underneath public stalls. And then there's the gloriously direct "Number 1: cardio", which is overlaid with slow-motion footage of an obese man being tackled by a blood-drenched zombie on a football field. "The zombie lives an active life," observes Columbus in wry voice-over, before adding, "So should you."

So far so droll. So free from story. However, the narrative soon kicks in when Columbus meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), the bizarre gun-toting cowboy, followed closely by two devious female hitchhikers called Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). The pair join Tallahassee and Columbus on a road trip to an LA amusement park called Pacific Playland where the older, sisterly Wichita plans to give young Little Rock a traditional family day out, even if it literally kills her.

Along the way the film effectively indulges its central comedic premise by watching Columbus flail hopelessly in the face of death, and become even more emasculated next to the macho antics of Harrelson's action man. "What are you doing - prospecting?" asks a nervously stuttering Columbus, delivering one of many Allen-esque one-liners, as Tallahassee produces a giant zombie-killing pickaxe from the back of his car. Similarly, Columbus gives a fantastically deadpan account of an earlier romantic tryst with an alluring neighbour who is transformed mid-date into a zombie.

Of course, as soon as the film exhausts the comedic possibilities of Columbus's discomfit it quickly runs aground. The trip to Pacific Playland isn't strong enough to sustain an entire narrative, and so the film takes a random diversion to the Beverly Hills home of actor Bill Murray (here playing an overblown egomaniacal version of himself). The sequence is mildly amusing, and Murray seems to relish the self-satire (his mansion is dotted with the letters BM), but it only serves to underscore the fact that when a narrative veers so blatantly off-piste it isn't always a sign of directorial confidence.

For the rest of the movie, the director Ruben Fleischer and writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, all television veterans making their film feature debut, simply throw their hands up in the air and let Zombieland sink under the weight of tediously overplayed ultra-violence and narrative non sequiturs. Our foursome find themselves, utterly illogically, in Pacific Playland and armed to the teeth with automatic weapons facing an interminable battle with an ever-growing throng of zombies. Here the movie suddenly expects to harness dramatic tension from a device (the slow limping attack of zombie villains) that has up until now been played entirely for laughs.

Worse still, the film completely inverts its own comedic premise and transforms Columbus into a decisive action hero. Instead of playing the original nerd-meets-zombies hook truthfully (think of Woody Allen's inept freedom fighter in Sleeper), the final battle is a transformative moment, where Columbus rids himself of self-doubt and taps his inner Rambo. Thus, the disappointingly rote answer to the original question, poised by a movie that's only briefly inventive, is that when a neurotic wallflower is inserted into the carnage of a zombie film, he does what every modern American movie hero does - he kicks ass.

Ticket prices
  • Golden circle - Dh995
  • Floor Standing - Dh495
  • Lower Bowl Platinum - Dh95
  • Lower Bowl premium - Dh795
  • Lower Bowl Plus - Dh695
  • Lower Bowl Standard- Dh595
  • Upper Bowl Premium - Dh395
  • Upper Bowl standard - Dh295
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Gran Gala del Calcio 2019 winners

Best Player: Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus)
Best Coach: Gian Piero Gasperini (Atalanta)
Best Referee: Gianluca Rocchi
Best Goal: Fabio Quagliarella (Sampdoria vs Napoli)
Best Team: Atalanta​​​​​​​
Best XI: Samir Handanovic (Inter); Aleksandar Kolarov (Roma), Giorgio Chiellini (Juventus), Kalidou Koulibaly (Napoli), Joao Cancelo (Juventus*); Miralem Pjanic (Juventus), Josip Ilicic (Atalanta), Nicolo Barella (Cagliari*); Fabio Quagliarella (Sampdoria), Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus), Duvan Zapata (Atalanta)
Serie B Best Young Player: Sandro Tonali (Brescia)
Best Women’s Goal: Thaisa (Milan vs Juventus)
Best Women’s Player: Manuela Giugliano (Milan)
Best Women’s XI: Laura Giuliani (Milan); Alia Guagni (Fiorentina), Sara Gama (Juventus), Cecilia Salvai (Juventus), Elisa Bartoli (Roma); Aurora Galli (Juventus), Manuela Giugliano (Roma), Valentina Cernoia (Juventus); Valentina Giacinti (Milan), Ilaria Mauro (Fiorentina), Barbara Bonansea (Juventus)

DUNE%3A%20PART%20TWO
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Denis%20Villeneuve%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Timothee%20Chamalet%2C%20Zendaya%2C%20Austin%20Butler%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%205%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The bio

Date of Birth: April 25, 1993
Place of Birth: Dubai, UAE
Marital Status: Single
School: Al Sufouh in Jumeirah, Dubai
University: Emirates Airline National Cadet Programme and Hamdan University
Job Title: Pilot, First Officer
Number of hours flying in a Boeing 777: 1,200
Number of flights: Approximately 300
Hobbies: Exercising
Nicest destination: Milan, New Zealand, Seattle for shopping
Least nice destination: Kabul, but someone has to do it. It’s not scary but at least you can tick the box that you’ve been
Favourite place to visit: Dubai, there’s no place like home

Our legal columnist

Name: Yousef Al Bahar

Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994

Marital status: Single

Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers

Jurassic%20Park
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESteven%20Spielberg%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Sam%20Neill%2C%20Jeff%20Goldblum%20and%20Richard%20Attenborough%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%205%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo

Power: 201hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 320Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm

Transmission: 6-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 8.7L/100km

Price: Dh133,900

On sale: now 

TO A LAND UNKNOWN

Director: Mahdi Fleifel

Starring: Mahmoud Bakri, Aram Sabbah, Mohammad Alsurafa

Rating: 4.5/5

How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

Business Insights
  • Canada and Mexico are significant energy suppliers to the US, providing the majority of oil and natural gas imports
  • The introduction of tariffs could hinder the US's clean energy initiatives by raising input costs for materials like nickel
  • US domestic suppliers might benefit from higher prices, but overall oil consumption is expected to decrease due to elevated costs
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
if you go

The flights

Etihad, Emirates and Singapore Airlines fly direct from the UAE to Singapore from Dh2,265 return including taxes. The flight takes about 7 hours.

The hotel

Rooms at the M Social Singapore cost from SG $179 (Dh488) per night including taxes.

The tour

Makan Makan Walking group tours costs from SG $90 (Dh245) per person for about three hours. Tailor-made tours can be arranged. For details go to www.woknstroll.com.sg

The Details

Kabir Singh

Produced by: Cinestaan Studios, T-Series

Directed by: Sandeep Reddy Vanga

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Kiara Advani, Suresh Oberoi, Soham Majumdar, Arjun Pahwa

Rating: 2.5/5 

THE%20STRANGERS'%20CASE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20Brandt%20Andersen%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EOmar%20Sy%2C%20Jason%20Beghe%2C%20Angeliki%20Papoulia%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
GCC-UK%20Growth
%3Cp%3EAn%20FTA%20with%20the%20GCC%20would%20be%20very%20significant%20for%20the%20UK.%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20My%20Department%20has%20forecast%20that%20it%20could%20generate%20an%20additional%20%C2%A31.6%20billion%20a%20year%20for%20our%20economy.%3Cbr%3EWith%20consumer%20demand%20across%20the%20GCC%20predicted%20to%20increase%20to%20%C2%A3800%20billion%20by%202035%20this%20deal%20could%20act%20as%20a%20launchpad%20from%20which%20our%20firms%20can%20boost%20their%20market%20share.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
RESULTS

Bantamweight: Victor Nunes (BRA) beat Azizbek Satibaldiev (KYG). Round 1 KO

Featherweight: Izzeddin Farhan (JOR) beat Ozodbek Azimov (UZB). Round 1 rear naked choke

Middleweight: Zaakir Badat (RSA) beat Ercin Sirin (TUR). Round 1 triangle choke

Featherweight: Ali Alqaisi (JOR) beat Furkatbek Yokubov (UZB). Round 1 TKO

Featherweight: Abu Muslim Alikhanov (RUS) beat Atabek Abdimitalipov (KYG). Unanimous decision

Catchweight 74kg: Mirafzal Akhtamov (UZB) beat Marcos Costa (BRA). Split decision

Welterweight: Andre Fialho (POR) beat Sang Hoon-yu (KOR). Round 1 TKO

Lightweight: John Mitchell (IRE) beat Arbi Emiev (RUS). Round 2 RSC (deep cuts)

Middleweight: Gianni Melillo (ITA) beat Mohammed Karaki (LEB)

Welterweight: Handesson Ferreira (BRA) beat Amiran Gogoladze (GEO). Unanimous decision

Flyweight (Female): Carolina Jimenez (VEN) beat Lucrezia Ria (ITA), Round 1 rear naked choke

Welterweight: Daniel Skibinski (POL) beat Acoidan Duque (ESP). Round 3 TKO

Lightweight: Martun Mezhlumyan (ARM) beat Attila Korkmaz (TUR). Unanimous decision

Bantamweight: Ray Borg (USA) beat Jesse Arnett (CAN). Unanimous decision

The specs: 2018 Maxus T60

Price, base / as tested: Dh48,000

Engine: 2.4-litre four-cylinder

Power: 136hp @ 1,600rpm

Torque: 360Nm @ 1,600 rpm

Transmission: Five-speed manual

Fuel consumption, combined: 9.1L / 100km

Farasan Boat: 128km Away from Anchorage

Director: Mowaffaq Alobaid 

Stars: Abdulaziz Almadhi, Mohammed Al Akkasi, Ali Al Suhaibani

Rating: 4/5

UPI facts

More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions

BLACK%20ADAM
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Jaume%20Collet-Serra%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dwayne%20Johnson%2C%20Sarah%20Shahi%2C%20Viola%20Davis%2C%20Pierce%20Brosnan%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
JOKE'S%20ON%20YOU
%3Cp%3EGoogle%20wasn't%20new%20to%20busting%20out%20April%20Fool's%20jokes%3A%20before%20the%20Gmail%20%22prank%22%2C%20it%20tricked%20users%20with%20%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fmentalplex%2F%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Emind-reading%20MentalPlex%20responses%3C%2Fa%3E%20and%20said%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fpigeonrank%2F%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3E%20well-fed%20pigeons%20were%20running%20its%20search%20engine%20operations%3C%2Fa%3E%20.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EIn%20subsequent%20years%2C%20they%20announced%20home%20internet%20services%20through%20your%20toilet%20with%20its%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Ftisp%2Finstall.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Epatented%20GFlush%20system%3C%2Fa%3E%22%2C%20made%20us%20believe%20the%20Moon's%20surface%20was%20made%20of%20cheese%20and%20unveiled%20a%20dating%20service%20in%20which%20they%20called%20founders%20Sergey%20Brin%20and%20Larry%20Page%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Farchive.google%2Fromance%2Fpress.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3EStanford%20PhD%20wannabes%3C%2Fa%3E%20%22.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EBut%20Gmail%20was%20all%20too%20real%2C%20purportedly%20inspired%20by%20one%20%E2%80%93%20a%20single%20%E2%80%93%20Google%20user%20complaining%20about%20the%20%22poor%20quality%20of%20existing%20email%20services%22%20and%20born%20%22%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fgooglepress.blogspot.com%2F2004%2F04%2Fgoogle-gets-message-launches-gmail.html%22%20target%3D%22_blank%22%3Emillions%20of%20M%26amp%3BMs%20later%3C%2Fa%3E%22.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

Pad Man

Dir: R Balki

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonam Kapoor, Radhika Apte

Three-and-a-half stars

Padmaavat

Director: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Starring: Ranveer Singh, Deepika Padukone, Shahid Kapoor, Jim Sarbh

3.5/5

Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale

Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni

Director: Amith Krishnan

Rating: 3.5/5

Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
Rating: 4/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Eco%20Way%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20December%202023%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Ivan%20Kroshnyi%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Electric%20vehicles%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Bootstrapped%20with%20undisclosed%20funding.%20Looking%20to%20raise%20funds%20from%20outside%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
A timeline of the Historical Dictionary of the Arabic Language
  • 2018: Formal work begins
  • November 2021: First 17 volumes launched 
  • November 2022: Additional 19 volumes released
  • October 2023: Another 31 volumes released
  • November 2024: All 127 volumes completed
Profile Box

Company/date started: 2015

Founder/CEO: Mohammed Toraif

Based: Manama, Bahrain

Sector: Sales, Technology, Conservation

Size: (employees/revenue) 4/ 5,000 downloads

Stage: 1 ($100,000)

Investors: Two first-round investors including, 500 Startups, Fawaz Al Gosaibi Holding (Saudi Arabia)

Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hoopla%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDate%20started%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMarch%202023%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Jacqueline%20Perrottet%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2010%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPre-seed%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20required%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%24500%2C000%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

Fatherland

Kele Okereke

(BMG)

Summer special

Drivers’ championship standings after Singapore:

1. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes - 263
2. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari - 235
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes - 212
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull - 162
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari - 138
6. Sergio Perez, Force India - 68

Monster

Directed by: Anthony Mandler

Starring: Kelvin Harrison Jr., John David Washington 

3/5

 

What is the Supreme Petroleum Council?

The Abu Dhabi Supreme Petroleum Council was established in 1988 and is the highest governing body in Abu Dhabi’s oil and gas industry. The council formulates, oversees and executes the emirate’s petroleum-related policies. It also approves the allocation of capital spending across state-owned Adnoc’s upstream, downstream and midstream operations and functions as the company’s board of directors. The SPC’s mandate is also required for auctioning oil and gas concessions in Abu Dhabi and for awarding blocks to international oil companies. The council is chaired by Sheikh Khalifa, the President and Ruler of Abu Dhabi while Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed, Abu Dhabi’s Crown Prince and Deputy Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, is the vice chairman.

Dr Amal Khalid Alias revealed a recent case of a woman with daughters, who specifically wanted a boy.

A semen analysis of the father showed abnormal sperm so the couple required IVF.

Out of 21 eggs collected, six were unused leaving 15 suitable for IVF.

A specific procedure was used, called intracytoplasmic sperm injection where a single sperm cell is inserted into the egg.

On day three of the process, 14 embryos were biopsied for gender selection.

The next day, a pre-implantation genetic report revealed four normal male embryos, three female and seven abnormal samples.

Day five of the treatment saw two male embryos transferred to the patient.

The woman recorded a positive pregnancy test two weeks later. 

The biog

Name: Younis Al Balooshi

Nationality: Emirati

Education: Doctorate degree in forensic medicine at the University of Bonn

Hobbies: Drawing and reading books about graphic design

A cryptocurrency primer for beginners

Cryptocurrency Investing  for Dummies – by Kiana Danial 

There are several primers for investing in cryptocurrencies available online, including e-books written by people whose credentials fall apart on the second page of your preferred search engine. 

Ms Danial is a finance coach and former currency analyst who writes for Nasdaq. Her broad-strokes primer (2019) breaks down investing in cryptocurrency into baby steps, while explaining the terms and technologies involved.

Although cryptocurrencies are a fast evolving world, this  book offers a good insight into the game as well as providing some basic tips, strategies and warning signs.

Begin your cryptocurrency journey here. 

Available at Magrudy’s , Dh104 

Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Cargoz%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDate%20started%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20January%202022%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Premlal%20Pullisserry%20and%20Lijo%20Antony%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2030%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Seed%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
City's slump

L - Juventus, 2-0
D - C Palace, 2-2
W - N Forest, 3-0
L - Liverpool, 2-0
D - Feyenoord, 3-3
L - Tottenham, 4-0
L - Brighton, 2-1
L - Sporting, 4-1
L - Bournemouth, 2-1
L - Tottenham, 2-1