I wore my MP40 Beretta machine gun slung low at my hip. In front of me a hooded Nazi zombie was approaching. I narrowed my eyes, squeezed the trigger and let rip. Bullets tore into the sinister figure, peppering it with ragged holes.
I'd never even so much as touched a machine gun before. I held no licence and I'd had no practice. But my instructor, a young female ex-marine called Nena, clad in a figure-hugging outfit and knee length leather boots just loaded up another magazine after she reeled in the target and handed me back the gun. "Don't you ever get crazies coming in here?" I asked, as I prepared to fire another salvo.
"Sometimes," she said. "Not for a few months, though."
I was in the Gun Shop in Las Vegas, which they claim is the most popular retail outlet in America. Outside, there was a 100-metre queue of people waiting to get into the public ranges and unleash their frustrations on one of the targets (apart from Zombie Nazi, you could have Angry Woman, Terrorist, Annoying Boss, etc).
In the souvenir shop you could buy T-shirts, mugs, jackets and, of course, guns - big, dangerous-looking ones. I even saw a bazooka. This place was an affront to the civilised values of peace and cooperation everywhere, but it was also some of the greatest fun I'd ever had.
Fun, of course, is what Las Vegas is all about. Mainly, this fun is sold in the form of gambling, but I don't gamble, since I possess the unwavering and statistically correct conviction that I'm almost certain to lose. Instead, I was going to spend three days having a good time away from the tables.
A good place to start was my hotel, the brand new Cosmopolitan. Like most of the hotels uptown on the Strip, it was built around gambling, but also, like many of the modern hotels, it had a strong cultural element. You could not turn a corner without stumbling across a striking installation or sculpture. In the lobby, multiple giant pillars glowed with endlessly changing displays of vibrant digital installations. Even the parking space is more like a gallery than a garage, with giant frescoes on the walls by contemporary artists.
This trend of culture over trash started at Bellagio Las Vegas hotel, almost opposite the Cosmopolitan. Suspended over the lobby there is one of my favourite pieces ever: Dale Chihuly's Fiori di Como, 2,000 dazzlingly coloured blown-glass blossoms. I ate in sight of the sculpture at Michelin-starred Michael Mina's. I just had a starter - caviar parfait. It slid down easily, but the price stuck in my throat - US$450 (Dh1,652) for what was essentially three mouthfuls.
I moved on for my main course to the hotel's Picasso restaurant. I couldn't remember the food, only my view through the window of the spectacular dance of the famous giant multicoloured fountains accompanied by Con Te Partiro by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman. There were also a multitude of original Picassos hanging blithely over the tables. People think Vegas is tacky, but you're unlikely to get that kind of decoration on the walls of your local branch of McDonald's.
By the next day I'd had enough of indulging myself with food and art. It was time for a bit of educational roughage in my rich diet, so I decided to visit a museum. But the museums here are slightly more quirky than other major cities. Or, at least, this was true of the Atomic Testing Museum.
The most amazing sight here was a photo of the Golden Nugget Casino pictured with a giant, billowing mushroom cloud in the background. The idea that you could be enjoying your holiday while a few miles off the military were exploding nuclear weapons seems bizarre beyond belief.
I enjoyed the exhibition of the atom in popular culture, featuring atomic pudding, atomic hairdos and children's atom bomb chemistry sets. The mannequins that were used for the original blast testing are on display, as are some darkly hilarious civil defence films that show you how to survive a nuclear attack. Apparently, all you have to do is hide under a table and cover your head with your hands - "duck and cover", a friendly cartoon tortoise informs you. Then you'll be fine, once the million-degree fireball has rolled over you.
I headed down to downtown Las Vegas, the original site of old-school casinos like Harrah's and the Golden Nugget (where, like in Abu Dhabi, you can buy real gold nuggets from an automatic dispensing machine). This is a cheesier but somewhat charming version of the uptown experience. The Bellagio might lure you in with appetisers for $450 (Dh1,650), but outside Mermaid's, the bait is Twinkies (a sort of sponge cake) or Oreo Cookies, both deep-fried, for 99 cents (Dh3.6). Outside, a man dressed as Mickey Mouse pulls off his foam rubber head, slumps on the ground and lights a cigarette while his partner, Minnie, continues hustling for change.
In the distance, I can see a couple having their wedding photographs taken outside a disused warehouse. Vegas is marriage central: there can be more than 4,000 of them taking place in a single day. Women dressed like meringues and overweight men stuffed into dinner jackets are as ubiquitous as neon signs.
Half a mile east of Fremont Street, the scene is very different. In 2008, the property prices in Vegas tanked worse than nearly anywhere else in the US. Apartments that were selling for $600,000 (Dh2.2m) now go for $150,000 (Dh551,000). As a result of the oversupply of cheap housing, a new wave of hipsters is moving in.
I visited the Beat Coffee house in the Emergency Arts building, a cheap and funky cafe a few hundred metres from Fremont Street, but a world away in style. Here, artists and musicians sip coffee and make use of the community resources - a fanzine library, studios, exhibition spaces, even a tiny museum of burlesque that is more arty kitsch than an authentic attraction.
The changes to the area are widespread and ongoing. Next month, a "Museum of the Mob" to "honour" the law enforcement agencies that bought the Mafia to justice, built around the original courtroom where the key Mafia trials took place in the 1930s, will open. There is also a substantial new performing arts centre, The Smith Centre that opens this year, and a Neon Museum in the lobby of the renovated, iconic La Concha motel.
Downtown Las Vegas is becoming unrecognisable but there is still an atmosphere of seediness. I passed one bar which was empty except for a lone showgirl stripping dejectedly under harsh neon light for two hefty bikers nursing a beer.
Vegas central, for all its pleasures, can be wearing. Fortunately, you can take a day trip away from the madness. Some explore the natural beauties of Red Rock Canyon or Zion National Park, but I chose to take a helicopter to the Grand Canyon to visit a cowboy ranch.
This takes you over the statuesque Hoover Dam and into the Canyon, one of the biggest land fissures on earth. It is hard to get a sense of the scale as you fly, until you see another helicopter outlined like a tiny dot against the canyon walls. Then the immensity of what you are in the heart of makes your stomach lurch.
A 45-minute flight after a 6am start took me to the ranch, where I was greeted by a singing cowboy and an exhibition of herding skills by "authentic" cowboys. A few "yippee hi ays" later, you are sitting down to a hearty breakfast of eggs and biscuits, followed by a horse trek through a forest of Joshua Trees in the shadow of a gigantic mesa.
Here, you'll find the original house on the settlement where the ranch was set up in the 19th century, supposedly by a member of the James gang on the run from the law. You can spend the night in a tent or a log cabin, but I hightailed it back to Vegas central again for a last look.
One of the best things about the Cosmopolitan is that it is one of the very few hotels in Vegas with balconies. I sat and looked out over the city on the 30th floor as the sunlight faded, watching the neon come up against a purple sky. Newly constructed wonders greeted my eyes - the Veer Towers leaning precipitously towards one another, and the glittering, swanky CityCentre complex and shopping centre.
Meanwhile, the old familiar wonders stayed in my mind - the fountains at the Bellagio, the biggest TV screen in the world suspended over three blocks of Fremont street, the spouting volcano at the Mirage, the pirate show at Treasure Island.
You don't need to gamble to enjoy Vegas, you just need to be sensible enough to hold on to your money long enough to spend it on the real attractions. Then, whether or not Lady Luck is on your side, you'll have a great time.
If You Go
The flight Direct flights with Etihad Airways (www.etihadairways.com) from Abu Dhabi to Los Angeles cost from Dh4,760 return. Return flights from Los Angeles to Las Vegas with American Airlines (www.aa.com) cost from US$134 (Dh492). Prices include taxes
The hotels Double rooms at the Cosmopolitan (www.cosmopolitanlasvegas.com; 00 1 702 698 7000) cost from $184 (Dh676) per night. At Bellagio (www.bellagio.com; 00 1 702 693 7111), double rooms cost from $214 (Dh786) per night. Prices include taxes
Pharaoh's curse
British aristocrat Lord Carnarvon, who funded the expedition to find the Tutankhamun tomb, died in a Cairo hotel four months after the crypt was opened.
He had been in poor health for many years after a car crash, and a mosquito bite made worse by a shaving cut led to blood poisoning and pneumonia.
Reports at the time said Lord Carnarvon suffered from “pain as the inflammation affected the nasal passages and eyes”.
Decades later, scientists contended he had died of aspergillosis after inhaling spores of the fungus aspergillus in the tomb, which can lie dormant for months. The fact several others who entered were also found dead withiin a short time led to the myth of the curse.
Some of Darwish's last words
"They see their tomorrows slipping out of their reach. And though it seems to them that everything outside this reality is heaven, yet they do not want to go to that heaven. They stay, because they are afflicted with hope." - Mahmoud Darwish, to attendees of the Palestine Festival of Literature, 2008
His life in brief: Born in a village near Galilee, he lived in exile for most of his life and started writing poetry after high school. He was arrested several times by Israel for what were deemed to be inciteful poems. Most of his work focused on the love and yearning for his homeland, and he was regarded the Palestinian poet of resistance. Over the course of his life, he published more than 30 poetry collections and books of prose, with his work translated into more than 20 languages. Many of his poems were set to music by Arab composers, most significantly Marcel Khalife. Darwish died on August 9, 2008 after undergoing heart surgery in the United States. He was later buried in Ramallah where a shrine was erected in his honour.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
2024%20Dubai%20Marathon%20Results
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Opening Rugby Championship fixtures:Games can be watched on OSN Sports
Saturday: Australia v New Zealand, Sydney, 1pm (UAE)
Sunday: South Africa v Argentina, Port Elizabeth, 11pm (UAE)
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
The low down
Producers: Uniglobe Entertainment & Vision Films
Director: Namrata Singh Gujral
Cast: Rajkummar Rao, Nargis Fakhri, Bo Derek, Candy Clark
Rating: 2/5
Timeline
2012-2015
The company offers payments/bribes to win key contracts in the Middle East
May 2017
The UK SFO officially opens investigation into Petrofac’s use of agents, corruption, and potential bribery to secure contracts
September 2021
Petrofac pleads guilty to seven counts of failing to prevent bribery under the UK Bribery Act
October 2021
Court fines Petrofac £77 million for bribery. Former executive receives a two-year suspended sentence
December 2024
Petrofac enters into comprehensive restructuring to strengthen the financial position of the group
May 2025
The High Court of England and Wales approves the company’s restructuring plan
July 2025
The Court of Appeal issues a judgment challenging parts of the restructuring plan
August 2025
Petrofac issues a business update to execute the restructuring and confirms it will appeal the Court of Appeal decision
October 2025
Petrofac loses a major TenneT offshore wind contract worth €13 billion. Holding company files for administration in the UK. Petrofac delisted from the London Stock Exchange
November 2025
180 Petrofac employees laid off in the UAE
Huroob Ezterari
Director: Ahmed Moussa
Starring: Ahmed El Sakka, Amir Karara, Ghada Adel and Moustafa Mohammed
Three stars
The candidates
Dr Ayham Ammora, scientist and business executive
Ali Azeem, business leader
Tony Booth, professor of education
Lord Browne, former BP chief executive
Dr Mohamed El-Erian, economist
Professor Wyn Evans, astrophysicist
Dr Mark Mann, scientist
Gina MIller, anti-Brexit campaigner
Lord Smith, former Cabinet minister
Sandi Toksvig, broadcaster
Star%20Wars%3A%20Ahsoka%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Various%20%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Rosario%20Dawson%2C%20Natasha%20Liu%20Bordizzo%2C%20Lars%20Mikkelsen%20%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
SPECS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%202-litre%20direct%20injection%20turbo%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%207-speed%20automatic%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20261hp%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20400Nm%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20From%20Dh134%2C999%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
'Manmarziyaan' (Colour Yellow Productions, Phantom Films)
Director: Anurag Kashyap
Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Taapsee Pannu, Vicky Kaushal
Rating: 3.5/5
Company%20Profile
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Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
'Brazen'
Director: Monika Mitchell
Starring: Alyssa Milano, Sam Page, Colleen Wheeler
Rating: 3/5
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
Soldier F
“I was in complete disgust at the fact that only one person was to be charged for Bloody Sunday.
“Somebody later said to me, 'you just watch - they'll drop the charge against him'. And sure enough, the charges against Soldier F would go on to be dropped.
“It's pretty hard to think that 50 years on, the State is still covering up for what happened on Bloody Sunday.”
Jimmy Duddy, nephew of John Johnson
Key Points
- Protests against President Omar Al Bashir enter their sixth day
- Reports of President Bashir's resignation and arrests of senior government officials
Recent winners
2002 Giselle Khoury (Colombia)
2004 Nathalie Nasralla (France)
2005 Catherine Abboud (Oceania)
2007 Grace Bijjani (Mexico)
2008 Carina El-Keddissi (Brazil)
2009 Sara Mansour (Brazil)
2010 Daniella Rahme (Australia)
2011 Maria Farah (Canada)
2012 Cynthia Moukarzel (Kuwait)
2013 Layla Yarak (Australia)
2014 Lia Saad (UAE)
2015 Cynthia Farah (Australia)
2016 Yosmely Massaad (Venezuela)
2017 Dima Safi (Ivory Coast)
2018 Rachel Younan (Australia)
Essentials
The flights
Emirates flies direct from Dubai to Seattle from Dh6,755 return in economy and Dh24,775 in business class.
The cruise
UnCruise Adventures offers a variety of small-ship cruises in Alaska and around the world. A 14-day Alaska’s Inside Passage and San Juans Cruise from Seattle to Juneau or reverse costs from $4,695 (Dh17,246), including accommodation, food and most activities. Trips in 2019 start in April and run until September.
Abu Dhabi GP Saturday schedule
12.30pm GP3 race (18 laps)
2pm Formula One final practice
5pm Formula One qualifying
6.40pm Formula 2 race (31 laps)
Australia tour of Pakistan
March 4-8: First Test, Rawalpindi
March 12-16: Second Test, Karachi
March 21-25: Third Test, Lahore
March 29: First ODI, Rawalpindi
March 31: Second ODI, Rawalpindi
April 2: Third ODI, Rawalpindi
April 5: T20I, Rawalpindi
Blue%20Beetle
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Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
'Nightmare Alley'
Director:Guillermo del Toro
Stars:Bradley Cooper, Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara
Rating: 3/5
Pieces of Her
Stars: Toni Collette, Bella Heathcote, David Wenham, Omari Hardwick
Director: Minkie Spiro
Rating:2/5
CHELSEA'S NEXT FIVE GAMES
Mar 10: Norwich(A)
Mar 13: Newcastle(H)
Mar 16: Lille(A)
Mar 19: Middlesbrough(A)
Apr 2: Brentford(H)
Europe's top EV producers
- Norway (63% of cars registered in 2021)
- Iceland (33%)
- Netherlands (20%)
- Sweden (19%)
- Austria (14%)
- Germany (14%)
- Denmark (13%)
- Switzerland (13%)
- United Kingdom (12%)
- Luxembourg (10%)
Source: VCOe
The specs: 2018 Peugeot 5008
Price, base / as tested: Dh99,900 / Dh134,900
Engine: 1.6-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power: 165hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 240Nm @ 1,400rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.8L / 100km
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Who's who in Yemen conflict
Houthis: Iran-backed rebels who occupy Sanaa and run unrecognised government
Yemeni government: Exiled government in Aden led by eight-member Presidential Leadership Council
Southern Transitional Council: Faction in Yemeni government that seeks autonomy for the south
Habrish 'rebels': Tribal-backed forces feuding with STC over control of oil in government territory
Dates for the diary
To mark Bodytree’s 10th anniversary, the coming season will be filled with celebratory activities:
- September 21 Anyone interested in becoming a certified yoga instructor can sign up for a 250-hour course in Yoga Teacher Training with Jacquelene Sadek. It begins on September 21 and will take place over the course of six weekends.
- October 18 to 21 International yoga instructor, Yogi Nora, will be visiting Bodytree and offering classes.
- October 26 to November 4 International pilates instructor Courtney Miller will be on hand at the studio, offering classes.
- November 9 Bodytree is hosting a party to celebrate turning 10, and everyone is invited. Expect a day full of free classes on the grounds of the studio.
- December 11 Yogeswari, an advanced certified Jivamukti teacher, will be visiting the studio.
- February 2, 2018 Bodytree will host its 4th annual yoga market.