In general, things produced in the United States do not travel well.
American cars, for example, are fine in a country where you can drive arrow-straight for hundreds of kilometres. But where the roads are twistier than Michael Jackson's Afro, as in most of the rest of the world, they are completely inappropriate, waddling into corners like an elephant on a unicycle.
And so it is with some US self-help, "foolproof" business books.
Michael J Maher's latest book The Seven Levels of Communication, published by Piatkus, is a case in point. Subtitled "Go from relationships to referrals", it explains what it takes to be a great salesman through the medium of a novel. Kansas-based Maher tells the tale of Rick Masters, a US property broker down on his luck. After meeting Michelle, to whom he is blushingly attracted, he attends a conference at her suggestion to learn how she hit the big time in the mortgage industry. There he experiences the sales evangelism of one Jay Michaels (the clue is in the author's name .) and hears the great orator expound his Seven Levels and the Spectrum of Solutions system. Rick is soon caught up in the stirring atmosphere and his cynicism evaporates as he is welcomed into the Generosity Generation.
From there Rick is appointed a personal coach - called Coach - and begins the arduous odyssey that will lead him through the Seven Levels of the title to property sales Nirvana. Unfortunately for the reader, this comes via a set of lessons that are more akin to a substance-abuse rehab programme than a real-world business solution.
Not long ago, The National carried an article decrying the proliferation of inane and meaningless business-speak. Maher goes one better by creating a whole separate language. The book is peppered with frankly ludicrous terminology such as The Triangle of Trust, Hour of Power and Networking Stack, often with "helpful" diagrams to aid understanding.
As a novel, The Seven Levels of Communication is a faintly engaging story by a not very good writer. As a business tool, it's about as much use as a V8 Mustang in a hairpin bend.
Unless your aim is to sell property to Hank and Myrtle in Kansas.
chnelson@thenational.ae
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