In the middle of what seemed a typical coaching session, a chief executive thanked me for my parenting advice. A bit puzzled, I asked: “What parenting advice did I give you?” (Frankly, I didn’t know that I was in the business of handing out tips on how to raise children, nor sure if I should be.)
He proceeded to tell me the advice was so good he shared it with some of his friends and they were also thankful for it. Still confused about what “advice” he was referring to, I asked again: “Parenting advice? When did I give you this? And if it was so good, what was it?”
In our previous session, we’d discussed the need for him as a chief executive to focus on expecting the standard to be achieved because it is the expectation rather than using the fear of punishment as the stimulus. In the midst of that discussion, I shared an example that had recently caught my attention from my home life.
It was a story I’d also featured in a previous column titled “Leadership by fear means you do not trust your employees”. In short, I had told one of our teenage daughters to be home by, let’s say, 11pm. I had said: “And if you are not, you’ll get grounded”, which is probably common for a parent to say – at least I hoped it was. And it is even common for leaders to tell their employees: “Do ‘this’ and if you don’t then ‘X’ will happen to you.”
As I walked down the hall after making this comment to my daughter, I wondered: “Why did I just threaten her? Why didn’t I just say my expectation?” The conversation in my mind continued analysing what just happened.
Did I not expect her to be home on time? And even if that was the case, is this the right approach? I realised I should have been focused on building her behaviour not just in this instance; the behaviour I want to instil in my kids is to do the right thing because it is expected.
That is the essence of the parenting advice this CEO was referring to, and it is the core of today’s leadership advice – focus on building behaviour.
Following this and completely unrelated, a couple of people suggested I write a book on parenting. This intrigued me so I started pondering the idea. While I am not going to set out and write a book on parenting – the best I could do is to write about raising your child as a leader – a thought jumped into my mind.
As leaders we should do the same as parents – that is to focus our efforts on building patterns of behaviour and the attitude that we want to see in the future. It is too easy to spend too much time on today, and address the immediacy of performance. Just as parents want to see their kids act in the right way every day, they realise it is their role to build the future behaviour.
When you fail to do this you are actually failing your employees and holding them back from realising their fullest potential.
Here is a simple tip on how to make this happen. Create a list noting a specific area that will help your managers be even better. Every leader recognises areas of behaviour and/or skill that if improved would have a direct effect on performance.
But creating a list is not enough, you need to do the hard part and talk with your employees about it. Too often, leaders identify what would make someone better. Then do very little about it.
Once you have the areas of behaviour or skill improvement identified, talk to your employees about them.
I believe in a practice called “feedforward”. Instead of looking backwards as you do in feedback, when employing feedforward, you are looking into the future. You would say something like: “If you do (fill this in with the improvement area) in the future, it will have (be specific) effect on your performance. Now, let’s talk about how you can grow in this area.”
This little lesson from parenting highlights the essence of great leadership – helping people get even better.
Tommy Weir is a leadership adviser, author of 10 Tips for Leading in the Middle East and other leadership writings and the founder of the Emerging Markets Leadership Center
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Company Fact Box
Company name/date started: Abwaab Technologies / September 2019
Founders: Hamdi Tabbaa, co-founder and CEO. Hussein Alsarabi, co-founder and CTO
Based: Amman, Jordan
Sector: Education Technology
Size (employees/revenue): Total team size: 65. Full-time employees: 25. Revenue undisclosed
Stage: early-stage startup
Investors: Adam Tech Ventures, Endure Capital, Equitrust, the World Bank-backed Innovative Startups SMEs Fund, a London investment fund, a number of former and current executives from Uber and Netflix, among others.
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The President's Cake
Director: Hasan Hadi
Starring: Baneen Ahmad Nayyef, Waheed Thabet Khreibat, Sajad Mohamad Qasem
Rating: 4/5
UAE's final round of matches
- Sep 1, 2016 Beat Japan 2-1 (away)
- Sep 6, 2016 Lost to Australia 1-0 (home)
- Oct 6, 2016 Beat Thailand 3-1 (home)
- Oct 11, 2016 Lost to Saudi Arabia 3-0 (away)
- Nov 15, 2016 Beat Iraq 2-0 (home)
- Mar 23, 2017 Lost to Japan 2-0 (home)
- Mar 28, 2017 Lost to Australia 2-0 (away)
- June 13, 2017 Drew 1-1 with Thailand (away)
- Aug 29, 2017 v Saudi Arabia (home)
- Sep 5, 2017 v Iraq (away)
Fixtures and results:
Wed, Aug 29:
- Malaysia bt Hong Kong by 3 wickets
- Oman bt Nepal by 7 wickets
- UAE bt Singapore by 215 runs
Thu, Aug 30:
- UAE bt Nepal by 78 runs
- Hong Kong bt Singapore by 5 wickets
- Oman bt Malaysia by 2 wickets
Sat, Sep 1: UAE v Hong Kong; Oman v Singapore; Malaysia v Nepal
Sun, Sep 2: Hong Kong v Oman; Malaysia v UAE; Nepal v Singapore
Tue, Sep 4: Malaysia v Singapore; UAE v Oman; Nepal v Hong Kong
Thu, Sep 6: Final
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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How to tell if your child is being bullied at school
Sudden change in behaviour or displays higher levels of stress or anxiety
Shows signs of depression or isolation
Ability to sleep well diminishes
Academic performance begins to deteriorate
Changes in eating habits
Struggles to concentrate
Refuses to go to school
Behaviour changes and is aggressive towards siblings
Begins to use language they do not normally use
Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere
Director: Scott Cooper
Starring: Jeremy Allen White, Odessa Young, Jeremy Strong
Rating: 4/5
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Scoreline
Swansea 2
Grimes 20' (pen), Celina, 29'
Man City 3
Silva 69', Nordfeldt 78' (og), Aguero 88'
Ruwais timeline
1971 Abu Dhabi National Oil Company established
1980 Ruwais Housing Complex built, located 10 kilometres away from industrial plants
1982 120,000 bpd capacity Ruwais refinery complex officially inaugurated by the founder of the UAE Sheikh Zayed
1984 Second phase of Ruwais Housing Complex built. Today the 7,000-unit complex houses some 24,000 people.
1985 The refinery is expanded with the commissioning of a 27,000 b/d hydro cracker complex
2009 Plans announced to build $1.2 billion fertilizer plant in Ruwais, producing urea
2010 Adnoc awards $10bn contracts for expansion of Ruwais refinery, to double capacity from 415,000 bpd
2014 Ruwais 261-outlet shopping mall opens
2014 Production starts at newly expanded Ruwais refinery, providing jet fuel and diesel and allowing the UAE to be self-sufficient for petrol supplies
2014 Etihad Rail begins transportation of sulphur from Shah and Habshan to Ruwais for export
2017 Aldar Academies to operate Adnoc’s schools including in Ruwais from September. Eight schools operate in total within the housing complex.
2018 Adnoc announces plans to invest $3.1 billion on upgrading its Ruwais refinery
2018 NMC Healthcare selected to manage operations of Ruwais Hospital
2018 Adnoc announces new downstream strategy at event in Abu Dhabi on May 13
Source: The National
Our legal advisor
Rasmi Ragy is a senior counsel at Charles Russell Speechlys, a law firm headquartered in London with offices in Europe, the Middle East and Hong Kong.
Experience: Prosecutor in Egypt with more than 40 years experience across the GCC.
Education: Ain Shams University, Egypt, in 1978.
The bio
Favourite food: Japanese
Favourite car: Lamborghini
Favourite hobby: Football
Favourite quote: If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough
Favourite country: UAE
The years Ramadan fell in May
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The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylturbo
Transmission: seven-speed DSG automatic
Power: 242bhp
Torque: 370Nm
Price: Dh136,814
The specs: 2018 Ducati SuperSport S
Price, base / as tested: Dh74,900 / Dh85,900
Engine: 937cc
Transmission: Six-speed gearbox
Power: 110hp @ 9,000rpm
Torque: 93Nm @ 6,500rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.9L / 100km
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Frankenstein in Baghdad
Ahmed Saadawi
Penguin Press
Australia (15-1): Israel Folau; Dane Haylett-Petty, Reece Hodge, Kurtley Beale, Marika Koroibete; Bernard Foley, Will Genia; David Pocock, Michael Hooper (capt), Lukhan Tui; Adam Coleman, Izack Rodda; Sekope Kepu, Tatafu Polota-Nau, Tom Robertson.
Replacements: Tolu Latu, Allan Alaalatoa, Taniela Tupou, Rob Simmons, Pete Samu, Nick Phipps, Matt Toomua, Jack Maddocks.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The biog
Occupation: Key marker and auto electrician
Hometown: Ghazala, Syria
Date of arrival in Abu Dhabi: May 15, 1978
Family: 11 siblings, a wife, three sons and one daughter
Favourite place in UAE: Abu Dhabi
Favourite hobby: I like to do a mix of things, like listening to poetry for example.
Favourite Syrian artist: Sabah Fakhri, a tenor from Aleppo
Favourite food: fresh fish
