In the middle of what seemed a typical coaching session, a chief executive thanked me for my parenting advice. A bit puzzled, I asked: “What parenting advice did I give you?” (Frankly, I didn’t know that I was in the business of handing out tips on how to raise children, nor sure if I should be.)
He proceeded to tell me the advice was so good he shared it with some of his friends and they were also thankful for it. Still confused about what “advice” he was referring to, I asked again: “Parenting advice? When did I give you this? And if it was so good, what was it?”
In our previous session, we’d discussed the need for him as a chief executive to focus on expecting the standard to be achieved because it is the expectation rather than using the fear of punishment as the stimulus. In the midst of that discussion, I shared an example that had recently caught my attention from my home life.
It was a story I’d also featured in a previous column titled “Leadership by fear means you do not trust your employees”. In short, I had told one of our teenage daughters to be home by, let’s say, 11pm. I had said: “And if you are not, you’ll get grounded”, which is probably common for a parent to say – at least I hoped it was. And it is even common for leaders to tell their employees: “Do ‘this’ and if you don’t then ‘X’ will happen to you.”
As I walked down the hall after making this comment to my daughter, I wondered: “Why did I just threaten her? Why didn’t I just say my expectation?” The conversation in my mind continued analysing what just happened.
Did I not expect her to be home on time? And even if that was the case, is this the right approach? I realised I should have been focused on building her behaviour not just in this instance; the behaviour I want to instil in my kids is to do the right thing because it is expected.
That is the essence of the parenting advice this CEO was referring to, and it is the core of today’s leadership advice – focus on building behaviour.
Following this and completely unrelated, a couple of people suggested I write a book on parenting. This intrigued me so I started pondering the idea. While I am not going to set out and write a book on parenting – the best I could do is to write about raising your child as a leader – a thought jumped into my mind.
As leaders we should do the same as parents – that is to focus our efforts on building patterns of behaviour and the attitude that we want to see in the future. It is too easy to spend too much time on today, and address the immediacy of performance. Just as parents want to see their kids act in the right way every day, they realise it is their role to build the future behaviour.
When you fail to do this you are actually failing your employees and holding them back from realising their fullest potential.
Here is a simple tip on how to make this happen. Create a list noting a specific area that will help your managers be even better. Every leader recognises areas of behaviour and/or skill that if improved would have a direct effect on performance.
But creating a list is not enough, you need to do the hard part and talk with your employees about it. Too often, leaders identify what would make someone better. Then do very little about it.
Once you have the areas of behaviour or skill improvement identified, talk to your employees about them.
I believe in a practice called “feedforward”. Instead of looking backwards as you do in feedback, when employing feedforward, you are looking into the future. You would say something like: “If you do (fill this in with the improvement area) in the future, it will have (be specific) effect on your performance. Now, let’s talk about how you can grow in this area.”
This little lesson from parenting highlights the essence of great leadership – helping people get even better.
Tommy Weir is a leadership adviser, author of 10 Tips for Leading in the Middle East and other leadership writings and the founder of the Emerging Markets Leadership Center
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Herc's Adventures
Developer: Big Ape Productions
Publisher: LucasArts
Console: PlayStation 1 & 5, Sega Saturn
Rating: 4/5
The Birkin bag is made by Hermès.
It is named after actress and singer Jane Birkin
Noone from Hermès will go on record to say how much a new Birkin costs, how long one would have to wait to get one, and how many bags are actually made each year.
Jawan
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Company%20Profile
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Generation Start-up: Awok company profile
Started: 2013
Founder: Ulugbek Yuldashev
Sector: e-commerce
Size: 600 plus
Stage: still in talks with VCs
Principal Investors: self-financed by founder
Company Profile
Name: Thndr
Started: 2019
Co-founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Sector: FinTech
Headquarters: Egypt
UAE base: Hub71, Abu Dhabi
Current number of staff: More than 150
Funds raised: $22 million
Dust and sand storms compared
Sand storm
- Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
- Visibility: Often dramatic with thick "walls" of sand
- Duration: Short-lived, typically localised
- Travel distance: Limited
- Source: Open desert areas with strong winds
Dust storm
- Particle size: Much finer, lightweight particles
- Visibility: Hazy skies but less intense
- Duration: Can linger for days
- Travel distance: Long-range, up to thousands of kilometres
- Source: Can be carried from distant regions
Essentials
The flights
Emirates, Etihad and Malaysia Airlines all fly direct from the UAE to Kuala Lumpur and on to Penang from about Dh2,300 return, including taxes.
Where to stay
In Kuala Lumpur, Element is a recently opened, futuristic hotel high up in a Norman Foster-designed skyscraper. Rooms cost from Dh400 per night, including taxes. Hotel Stripes, also in KL, is a great value design hotel, with an infinity rooftop pool. Rooms cost from Dh310, including taxes.
In Penang, Ren i Tang is a boutique b&b in what was once an ancient Chinese Medicine Hall in the centre of Little India. Rooms cost from Dh220, including taxes.
23 Love Lane in Penang is a luxury boutique heritage hotel in a converted mansion, with private tropical gardens. Rooms cost from Dh400, including taxes.
In Langkawi, Temple Tree is a unique architectural villa hotel consisting of antique houses from all across Malaysia. Rooms cost from Dh350, including taxes.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The smuggler
Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple.
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.
Khouli conviction
Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.
For sale
A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.
- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico
- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000
- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
