Coldplay. Courtesy Flash Entertainment
Coldplay. Courtesy Flash Entertainment

Coldplay debate: Is the British quartet the hottest band around or just plain overrated?



Since achieving global fame in 2000, Coldplay have elicited devotion and derision in equal measure. The question, then, is whether the British four-piece are one of the best bands of their generation – or the most overrated? Rob Garratt and Saeed Saeed state their cases.

They are overrated

Coldplay produce quintessentially mundane muzak for the masses. They are utterly innocuous, bitterly anodyne and completely forgettable audio dishwater, swilling round the empty ears of listeners too lazy or ignorant to seek out anything less agreeable.

Put simply, Coldplay make music for people who don’t like music.

The Coldplay formula: cycle a dull, harmonically satisfying piano ostinato, insert a whiny, falsetto Chris Martin vocal, and repeat ad nauseam.

Just listen to the endless ennui of Clocks or – actually, don't. It must be the most undiverting piece of music ever composed.

Coldplay are so dull, I can’t even muster the energy to hate them. I just protest the totally disproportionate level of success they have achieved, fuelled by the fawning excitement of fans who get their hot music picks from YouTube’s advert-driven algorithms.

It is hard to believe now, but in their early days, Coldplay were almost cool, loftily tipped by the UK music press to be the next Radiohead. In early 2000, as a teenage indie kid, I handed over cash to help second single Shiver reach the lofty heights of No35 in the UK chart, and queued to buy debut album Parachutes on day of release.

Call me misty eyed, but while never quite the revelation we were promised, this early work was much more diverting than what was to come.

By 2002's prosaic follow-up, A Rush of Blood to the Head, my uncool big brother was in on the act. And when my mother bought 2005's collective yawn X& Y, it became clear any spark had long ago fizzled out.

It got worse. The band’s more recent flirtations with dance and urban elements are beyond embarrassing. The bitter reports I’ve heard from fans who were at their last Abu Dhabi appearance – a lacklustre NYE countdown in 2011, when they were on stage for only about an hour – do little to endear them to me. If you’re going to be boring, at least be nice.

“They’re a Marmite band,” someone told me. No, they are not. Marmite divides people because its taste is bold and distinctive – the antithesis of Coldplay’s flavourless audio broth.

* Rob Garratt

They are one of the best

It is easy to see why Coldplay became so successful. When they emerged, we were reaching the peak of the Nu-Metal period – a genre that was so stodgy and full of narcissistic naval gazing – and the public were looking for music that was more hopeful and organic.

Enter Coldplay, with their simple lyricism and a standard, yet evocative, rock arrangement.

The band broke into the charts in 2000 and with their seven albums have been a mainstay ever since.

The backlash began as early as the second album, 2002's A Rush of Blood to the Head, and their fate was sealed with the release of 2005's X&Y, the album that propelled them to into the realms of the arena and, eventually, stadium act.

The band no longer “belonged” to that select group of self-appointed tastemakers, but to “the people” and boy, did the snobs hate that.

Let’s look at some of the charges levelled at the band:

The lyrics are lame.

Perhaps, but then, so are most pop lyrics, let's be honest. And it has also been a feature of the band's music from the start. Their first single, 2000's Shiver has lines such as: "From the moment I wake/ To the moment I sleep/ I'll be there by your side." Not exactly Shakespeare but, funny enough, there were few complaints from the tastemakers raving about the band back then.

The music is all the same.

Only if you are not paying attention. From the low-fi indie aesthetics of A Rush of Blood to the Head to the art-rock leanings of Viva La Vida, or Death to all his Friends each Coldplay album – for better or worse – had a clearly defined musical concept.

To lump it all together is the same as stating that U2 and Bruce Springsteen have sounded the same for the past 30 years.

They are too nice.

No, it is simple self awareness. That’s perhaps the key to the group’s success and solidarity. They keep their heads down and get on with it.

Derision is often responded to with self deprecation and praise. In a way, it is a brilliant Akido-type move that leaves the accuser resembling a musical grinch.

In any case, I suspect the group struggle to hear the hate among the roar of the huge crowds they play to every night.

* Saeed Saeed

Company profile

Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices

Company Profile

Company name: Hoopla
Date started: March 2023
Founder: Jacqueline Perrottet
Based: Dubai
Number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Investment required: $500,000

The schedule

December 5 - 23: Shooting competition, Al Dhafra Shooting Club

December 9 - 24: Handicrafts competition, from 4pm until 10pm, Heritage Souq

December 11 - 20: Dates competition, from 4pm

December 12 - 20: Sour milk competition

December 13: Falcon beauty competition

December 14 and 20: Saluki races

December 15: Arabian horse races, from 4pm

December 16 - 19: Falconry competition

December 18: Camel milk competition, from 7.30 - 9.30 am

December 20 and 21: Sheep beauty competition, from 10am

December 22: The best herd of 30 camels

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat

Sweet Tooth

Creator: Jim Mickle
Starring: Christian Convery, Nonso Anozie, Adeel Akhtar, Stefania LaVie Owen
Rating: 2.5/5

Dolittle

Director: Stephen Gaghan

Stars: Robert Downey Jr, Michael Sheen

One-and-a-half out of five stars

COMPANY PROFILE

Company: Eco Way
Started: December 2023
Founder: Ivan Kroshnyi
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Electric vehicles
Investors: Bootstrapped with undisclosed funding. Looking to raise funds from outside

Tips for newlyweds to better manage finances

All couples are unique and have to create a financial blueprint that is most suitable for their relationship, says Vijay Valecha, chief investment officer at Century Financial. He offers his top five tips for couples to better manage their finances.

Discuss your assets and debts: When married, it’s important to understand each other’s personal financial situation. It’s necessary to know upfront what each party brings to the table, as debts and assets affect spending habits and joint loan qualifications. Discussing all aspects of their finances as a couple prevents anyone from being blindsided later.

Decide on the financial/saving goals: Spouses should independently list their top goals and share their lists with one another to shape a joint plan. Writing down clear goals will help them determine how much to save each month, how much to put aside for short-term goals, and how they will reach their long-term financial goals.

Set a budget: A budget can keep the couple be mindful of their income and expenses. With a monthly budget, couples will know exactly how much they can spend in a category each month, how much they have to work with and what spending areas need to be evaluated.

Decide who manages what: When it comes to handling finances, it’s a good idea to decide who manages what. For example, one person might take on the day-to-day bills, while the other tackles long-term investments and retirement plans.

Money date nights: Talking about money should be a healthy, ongoing conversation and couples should not wait for something to go wrong. They should set time aside every month to talk about future financial decisions and see the progress they’ve made together towards accomplishing their goals.

The Roundup : No Way Out

Director: Lee Sang-yong
Stars: Don Lee, Lee Jun-hyuk, Munetaka Aoki
Rating: 3/5

TECH SPECS: APPLE WATCH SERIES 9

Display: 41mm – 352 x 430; 45mm – 396 x 484; always-on Retina LTPO OLED, 2000 nits max; Ion-X glass (aluminium cases), sapphire crystal (stainless steel cases)

Processor: Apple S9 64-bit, W3 wireless, 2nd-gen Ultra Wideband

Capacity: 64GB

Memory: 1GB

Platform: watchOS 10

Health metrics: Blood oxygen sensor, electrical heart sensor and ECG, 3rd-gen optical heart sensor, high and low heart rate notifications, irregular rhythm notifications, sleep stages, temperature sensing

Emergency services: Emergency SOS, international emergency calling, crash detection, fall detection

Connectivity: GPS/GPS + cellular; Wi-Fi, LTE, Bluetooth 5.3, NFC (Apple Pay)

Durability: IP6X, water resistant up to 50m, dust resistant

Battery: 308mAh Li-ion, up to 18h regular/36h low power; wireless charging

Cards: eSIM

Finishes: Aluminium – midnight, pink, Product Red, silver, starlight; stainless steel – gold, graphite, silver

In the box: Watch Series 9, woven magnetic-to-USB-C charging cable, band/loop

Price: Starts at Dh1,599 (41mm) / Dh1,719 (45mm)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3

Director: James Gunn

Stars: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper

Rating: 4/5

COMPANY PROFILE

Company name: Revibe
Started: 2022
Founders: Hamza Iraqui and Abdessamad Ben Zakour
Based: UAE
Industry: Refurbished electronics
Funds raised so far: $10m
Investors: Flat6Labs, Resonance and various others

Most match wins on clay

Guillermo Vilas - 659

Manuel Orantes - 501

Thomas Muster - 422

Rafael Nadal - 399 *

Jose Higueras - 378

Eddie Dibbs - 370

Ilie Nastase - 338

Carlos Moya - 337

Ivan Lendl - 329

Andres Gomez - 322